Re: Does making tea for your susraal make you a ghar damaad?
Maybe she felt so because the wife was not ill or anything but just talking on the phone and the husband was making tea for her mother and brother. She must have expected that you would ask your wife to put down the phone and make tea, or just wait for her to make it instead of making it yourself. But still it wasn't so big of an issue. I believe if it is ok between you and your wife then nobody else is important enough to say anything.
Damn reading this thread I must be whipped because just today I ran a load of laundry, bet there were some undergarments in there.
I do recall ironing her shirt while ironing mine as she fed and got the kids ready when they were little and headed to kindergarten.
Damn it, now I must go have "angry sex" to show her that I am not whipped but am a real man....( for background on that refer to thread titled "in big trouble")
Okay, so angry sex... Be back in 30 minutes..
...who am I kidding, be back in 5-10
...yes that includes the time for a cigarette afterwards!!!! Now stop it.
Honestly, who cares what the phupoo thinks. Your wife, mother, and mother-in-law had no issues and these are the women who are most influential in your life. It doesn't matter what jahaliah practices extended family follows.
The Prophet (SAW) said (I paraphrase), The best among you is best to his family. I am best to my family. (The point here was to look at his example.) He (SAW) washed dishes, swept floors, and other menial household tasks. Surely, if the one who was leading humanity to the right path, helped his wife in household tasks, making tea for your susraal was the right thing.
At the end of the day, you just won big brownie points with your wife and Mom for being so considerate and a good host. I think you won some brownie points with God.
Update....Mission aborted, she was angrier than me, I thought its best that I sneak away before any permanent damage is inflicted upon..Springsteen and the e-street band. I did have a smoke just for the hell of it though.
Re: Does making tea for your susraal make you a ghar damaad?
Well my MIL and her brother came over yesterday and my wife was too busy talking to her Mum and mamoo so I thought I'd make a cup of tea for them.
My phopo was here too and when she saw me in the kitchen making tea for my susraal she was a wee bit annoyed seeing her bateeja doing what she called auraton ka kaam and that too for my susraal.
When my saas and her bhai left my phopo made a fuss about it to my mum that she hadn't taught her son to act like a man. She called me a jhoru ka ghulam and what not. But what surprised me the most was when she said I had become my susraal's tabeydar ("abhi sei hogaya unka chamcha") and I was being a ghar damaad? Not that I see anything wrong with the idea of a ghar damaad (not that I want to be one, lol) but I don't see how making a small cup of tea for your saas makes you a ghar damaad. Nor am I a "Jhoru ka ghulam". My mama just told me and my wife to never mind. "Abida baaji ko to aadat hai batey bananay ka".
Note: I have been born and brought up in the West, but I understand the culture of Pakistan since I have been raised in a very traditional family. Have been recently married.
tell your phupo that you made tea for a ghar ayee mehman .... someone who is your elder , who also happened to be your MIL. Tell her that your culture and your religion tells you to treat mehmaan and elderly with kindness and nothing "joru ka ghulaam" about it.
Re: Does making tea for your susraal make you a ghar damaad?
People are just ridiculous. They seem to forget that our Prophet PBUH was very much in favour of men helping around the house ;indeed the Prophet SAW himself helped with chores around the house.
Anyone who thinks that doing the above makes you 'whipped' is misguided and quite frankly stupid. Good on you OP for looking after your inlaws, im sure your wife loves you for it.
Re: Does making tea for your susraal make you a ghar damaad?
sirf chai ban`ny saay nahen janab....
kapray istree karo,nashta bana kaay doo,office saay pick n drop
tau phir kahenn jaa kay mujhay joru ka ghulam ka khitaab mila tha