Does it matter if someone you want to marry is a virgin or not?

[EDAL]

re: Does it matter if someone you want to marry is a virgin or not?

[quote=“khattichic, post:13, topic:253227”]

@EDAL

If a potential girl has no problem with a guy not being a virgin then why not? Why would I go for a girl who has already been ravaged by another man, when I can get one that hasn’t, why? It’s not hard to find good educated Muslim girls who are virgins.

Girls today are pretty smart, they know if they started to demand men to be virgins they may never even get married.

I’ll tell you in my search, I never had a problem with any of this virgin stuff, no girl seemed to care and I talked to 3 or 4 when I was looking for a good wife, they just don’t care about that kinda thing.

**The girls and their families were concerned about, if you are a practicing Muslim, what kind of degree you have, your job, is the family educated, where the girl will live, your looks , personality etc.. height, weight etc../**QUOTE]

^^^ i’m sorry, but i really disagree with this. your comments are wrong on soo many levels!!

before i married my husband, i had a rishta/proposal come from a very well-to-do guy who was doing his residency in anesthiology, he came from a very educated and prestegious family, etc. he seemed very proper, and was in all essence “a very good catch”. we talked on the phone on and off for a few months, (during which something about** him seemed off to me, he was a little too flirty, and made some wierd comment about my photos, a little too risque for my taste) when he had a break from work, he came to our city, after the obligatory chai/nashta and family small talk, he asked my parents if he and i could spend some time together/talk alone. so of course my mom said yes and i took him around our city, showing him the sites. he seemed to have other things on his mind, and immediately tried to start a make out session**. it was very obvious that he knew what he was doing/expecting. needless to say, i put the brakes on the whole rishta, flat out refused, and instructed my mom to tell the rishta aunty and his mom EXACTLY why i was turning him down.

so you see, i don’t think it’s fair to generalize and say that it’s acceptable to girls and thier families if a guy has a premiscuous past as long as he’s educated and seems religious. i should think that parents would be more scruitinizing when deciding whose hands to place their daughter in.

But that’s not what I’m talking about at all, now is it, what you mentioned is another subject. Where did I say a guy can be rude, flirtatious, and disrespectful to a Muslim girl he wants to marry and expect her to ignore that??

You rejected him because he acted rude, not because of the past, most respectable Muslim girls would do what you did. If you were my sister/cousin, that man would be getting a heavy dose of anesthesia the next day.

My point was that from my experience as long as you speak to a Muslim girl respectfully and honestly, girls won’t really care about your “past”, nor ask about it. All that matters is what your practices and beliefs are now, again this is my specific experience. Girls don’t put too much emphasis on the whole “virgin” thing, not as much as men do.