does caste matter

Lifestyle Relationships
21

Re: does caste matter

Isn't caste supposed to be a Hindu thing?

22

Re: does caste matter

Yah as if everything else we do is all about Islam :).

I love it when same of you otherwise are whinning about oh how my mother in law is so stupid she didnt give me this n this like she is suppose to on my wedding like everyone else gets etc etc…or how my inlaws were suppose to provide this but they couldnt etc etc. It’s ok for you guys to break the marriage cuz of these things but hey i wouldnt dare take any such precaution while getting married cuz its so UnIslamic but others things are not :rolleyes:. Okkkkkkkkkkkkie!

Just like so many other things we lovingly dwell with at our convenience :).

23

Re: does caste matter

I agree that we can adjust to it too like we do so with so many other changes that come with marriage. That's why i said it is important but i never said its something we can't do without.

However, you can't deny that there lies so much of difference between people of different castes. From what they eat to how they live, its all very contrasting and it does matter alot when you get married into a family and they expect you to live the way they do, thats when all these fights, which keeps GS running, happen.

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Re: does caste matter

I am finding it quite hilarious that we bring religion into all this whenever we feel like it. Otherwise i don't remember reading it in Quran that it is important for your partner to have 6-pack, spiked hair or that she be fair and slim BUT when people list that on their checklist its all fine but if someone "hopes" to find a match within same caste, it's going against Quran. Wow.

25

Re: does caste matter

Firstly, don't know how wanting an Athletic guy or one with spiky hair is somehow going against the Qur'an lol and secondly there's a difference between 'personal' sins and those which affect great swathes of the population like the caste system (another ex is riba).. There's a difference between 'personal preference' (eg. wanting dark hair or a six-pack) and imposing your view or preference on the whole family or society in general..

It's funny to see the same ppl who talk about others 'picking and choosing parts of Islam' do this themselves when it comes to things like caste or how we 'must' live with inlaws which seem to cause 10x more misery and trouble so how are they any better?

26

Re: does caste matter

Btw what are these huge differences that ppl of different castes would have difficulty overcoming anyway?

(Seems that it's only ppl who have never even had a family member who married out who believe it's difficult or can't be done.. doesn't that indicate the 'difficulties' are mostly in their head?)

27

Re: does caste matter

^ None. If there are any differences, then i'm sure it only affects people who are obviously still living in the stone ages or caves.

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Re: does caste matter

as far as living the way people live the differences are not that great, and bigger differences exist outside of castes, based on wealth, education, socioeconomic status, urban vs rural and all that, but the more civilized people are the less they would force someone to give up one's ways and respect and accommodate the traditions of each other.

29

Re: does caste matter

It is. But so are mehndis, mayuns, baraats, joint family system, etc.

What you just said makes no sense. You’re saying people break marriages because inlaws didnt give them things so its okay to have a caste system? So one stupidity justifies the other one?

This is what I am curious about. What are these differences? Someone mentioned cooking. My BIL from Hyderabad (India) likes Hyderabadi food sure. My sister makes it all the time for him but she is from Karachi so makes mostly Karachi-style food. I havent seen him threatening to divorce her over this nonsense. Its never been a problem. It only becomes a problem if you’re the type of person to make it one.

:hmmm: So if you’re living in Karachi and you’re a Syed and your neighbor is a Siddiqui - that means one of them probably eats more mirch than the other? Or Syeds like hara dhania more? What about Qureshis? If they eat a lot of meat they must be like khooN khwaar janwar? Do only Bihari people eat Bihari kababs?

Does anyone see the silliness yet?

Some people who have limited knowledge of the outside world believe that others must be sooo different from them when in actuality - they’re not. And honestly, when I meet such people I feel like I am standing in a zoo (with a sign that says dont feed them) looking at a species that is nearly extinct. Alhumdulillah.

So these people that believe its against morals and principals to marry outside of the caste…what happens if they do? Do they dissolve into a puddle as soon as the nikah is read (Harry Potter style)?

30

Re: does caste matter

What castes believe this is a necessity?

31

Re: does caste matter

I have seen in many families in fact in my family too that people have different styles of cooking. Means within a family and same caste people have different life style too. Within families, they have different cooking style and all. so caste does not matter in marriages as far as my opinion is concerned.

We should see religion when we are getting married but not caste.... same caste does not make life easier....... otherwise we wouldn't see any difficulty in adjustment when girls get married within their families.

32

Re: does caste matter

I know a lot of people with similar castes but their lifestyles are so different from each other. I guess it could have been true decades ago but now the caste thing iis quite irrelevant. Although for some families and individuals it is still important. Not a deal breaker, but preferrable.

I dont believe in caste system at all. But to each their own. :)

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Re: does caste matter

I never said wanting an athletic guy etc etc was against Quran. I am just saying its same as hoping to marry into same caste. That's it!

Oh so seems like somebody didnt like my views on how to live with inlaws hence this backlash :).

OMG! What part of my post was in alien language that doesnt make you understand that i never said it was not possible to make an out of caste marriage work but it would just be an added thing to adjust to. Stop assuming things on your own!

You know what if the new ages is all about people like you, i think we r better in the stone age. Because really what an ignorant bunch of fools you guys are. Just because somebody has a different opinion to you, you can't digest it yet you claim others to be living in the stone age. Really wow.

That is what i have been trying to say too but i am sure they wouldnt be able to understand my saying this, maybe they will yours.

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Re: does caste matter

If anyone wants to have a healthy discussion or even argument, i am all up for it but first learn to be civil and non judgemental. What new age are we so proud of being part of? The one where you can't stand a different opinion?! Reallllllly.

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Re: does caste matter

Everything you say is in Alien language. Fact.

Zareenaunty, ignorance is bliss. What this fool I cannot digest is your constant waffling. If I had a dollar for every smart thing you say, I'd be poor.

36

Re: does caste matter

I will have to agree with Zareen on this.
She didnt impose her opinion to others. Neither did she say that people of one caste are better than people from another.

Live and let live, people.
I dont give importance to castes as well, but if somebody does find it important to marry into same caste, then his/her life and his choices. I mean how does it affect my life?

37

Re: does caste matter

I think we should have another caste in Pakistan. The lal lungi caste. And they should not be allowed to marry anyone else aside from people with lal lungis.

38

Re: does caste matter

By that token, if larkay walay demand lots of jahez, larki walay should give in....just because its important to them, and can afford it and they're not forcing anyone.

You (generally speaking) could marry someone of your own caste if that's important to you but what happens if your child wants to marry someone whose of a different caste? would you force them to marry a loser who just belongs to the same caste like alot of parents who believe in this nonsense do?

what if you want to marry someone and their family makes life hell for you....because you're not the same caste?

So yeah one person can do it out of choice, but when lots of people do one thing out of choice....it becomes a problem in society. and unless your head is in the sand, u can't deny that the caste thing leaves people open to yet more abuse.

39

Re: does caste matter

hmm I dont even know what caste I am or my family is... :D So for me it doesnt matter..

And honestly I didn't even knew before that castesystem is in Pakistan too.. I always thought that its Hindu thing. So how many different castes there is? And what defines in what caste are u, is it ur lastname or? :)

40

Re: does caste matter

So are Paganism and the act of burning the widow along with her husband's dead body 'Sati'. Get my drift Reha?

I agree with what you're saying though, this whole caste thing is just ridiculous and not to mention un-Islamic.