Re: Does anybody know a playa/flirty person that's settled now?
as long as it is really in the past and it has not resulted in any STDs or unknown kids does it really matter?
the question is, it really in the past. Is type 1 or type 2 more likely to go back to his ways, I would say it is probably type 2.
In the end it depends on the individual.
and the short term things don't necessarily don't mean wham bam thank you ma'am one night stands. just like 'relationships' don't always mean 'indiscretion' neither do shorter hookups. they are more likely to i guess, but thats not always the case.
Funny enough, the difference between type 1 and type 2 mattered to me. Whether it's just an assumption on my part, I thought the first type was capable of respecting women while the second one objectified women and truly was out to use them.
Re: Does anybody know a playa/flirty person that's settled now?
Playa/flirtatious one reporting (thats what the big mommy thinks of me) I guess I'm alright. Not as yet settled but on the path to I guess. I'Allah.
I know a few who were major players, today however they're all well settled (most actually) leading the normal/typical pakistani husband lifestyle. And with this I'd beg to differ on the "All players remain players post-marriage" notion. Some players do change.
Re: Does anybody know a playa/flirty person that's settled now?
i havent read your posts. but **i dont understand why some women get so upset if a man actually has options in the dating & sexual marketplace why they get so pissed if a man is actually in control of his dating and sex life and can take the relationships where he wants to take them. women only want that power for themselves.
**actually you must have observed that although there might be a handful of guys with a great dating and sex life with multiple women, most women have plenty of options and date multiple men quite effortlessly and are in comeplte control of their dating & sex lives.
Re: Does anybody know a playa/flirty person that's settled now?
Funny enough, the difference between type 1 and type 2 mattered to me. Whether it's just an assumption on my part, I thought the first type was capable of respecting women while the second one objectified women and truly was out to use them.
Re: Does anybody know a playa/flirty person that's settled now?
uzair, see even X2 says that there are different types of womanizers in his post above. the third category of guys he mentioned are the ones similar to the ones i'm talking about. whatever the situation emotions aren't important to them, do you agree in that way.
gosh and you've kind of generalized all women into thinking and being like the ones you've described there. i would hardly say that it's "most" women like that.
most of the so called players have no addiction. they just want to date and have sexual relationships with a variety of women. they have no intentions to mislead the women or make them fall in love or something just to get the thrills. they have no magical powers over women as you describe...not any different from what normal woman have over men.
you can easily start dating 5 guys at a time (if youre not hideous) and i can assure you a couple of them might get emotionally attached to you, specially after having regular sex and get hurt in the process, whereas you were just having fun and exploring your life. you can be in control of these 'arrangements' easily. an average woman can easily become a 'player' in that sense.
women are very calculating because when they date a very goodlooking and socially significant guy, sex and intimacy happens first and happens naturally. the terms of the relationship are set much later. it may or may not turn into something meaningful because women dont set conditions with very attractive men. you might not want to admit this but take a look at the dating & relationships history of women you know and you'll know wat im talking about.
when women date normal/ordinary men, they set the terms first. they require of the man to fulfill some conditions first before she will invest sexually and emotionally. for eg: date for atleast 5 months before having any physical contact to 'check' if he is sincere, or requiring of him to prove his sincerity somehow before she gives him the time of the day. now with a very attractive man, a woman will never require this. she knows that that guy has a lot of options and if she tries to set the terms, bring up commitment talk so soon, it will scare him off. so women date these men unconditionally. they have fun with them, they have sex and intimacy with them unconditionally. this also allows the attractive man to date multiple women easily, because attracting women and courting them is effortless and doesnt require too much time. some women will get hurt in the process get bitter and rationalize. others get frustrated that their investment got wasted, yet others will move on and for them it is a way to size their options as well. women like to figure out what they can keep and what they cant. women can date players very easily even if they are ordinary but they cant keep them. so some of them also enjoy as long as it lasts before they settle down with someone their equivalent.
that is all there is to the player phenomenon for the most part.
the psychopath types are very rare.
Re: Does anybody know a playa/flirty person that’s settled now?
No she is happily married now and is a successful professional in her field. Not a dumb girl by any means.
I don’t think that she thought we were an item, it was more that she felt we hit it off, which we did, and that I did not show up for the next event. If you read the threads in life1, plenty of girls are fairly confused and bothered about ‘rishtas’ when they don’t pan out, or there is no followup. its not that they think they are an item but not knowing or no interest etc hurts people.
Re: Does anybody know a playa/flirty person that's settled now?
Funny enough, the difference between type 1 and type 2 mattered to me. Whether it's just an assumption on my part, I thought the first type was capable of respecting women while the second one objectified women and truly was out to use them.
wow. you seem to be delusional. you would be surpirzed to realize how many women are into one night stands and casual sex. but you obviously think that its men who force those innocent wominz into these things.
Re: Does anybody know a playa/flirty person that's settled now?
True enough that was does not = is, but our past does shape who we are and how people perceive us.
It can shape us who we are, but 'how' it shapes people varies.
also it does not always shape who someone becomes or could play a much smaller role in
one of my pals who can be used as a bad role model for essentially everything a parent fears, dropping out of school, sex, drugs, rock 'n roll, really changed after his dad passed away, well, except for rock n roll. Today he is a successful businessman (and yes he finished college) married, living well, devoted husband and father. Just saw him 2 weeks ago while i was traveling.
and as far as people's perception goes, it is what it is, you can't be bothered too much, as long as those that matter don't care, because those that don't matter can care all they want..they don't matter.
Re: Does anybody know a playa/flirty person that’s settled now?
If you read with comprehension Einstein, I was discussing a specific example. I did not at any point say that women were innocent and incapable of one-night stands, rather I was querying and commenting about the aforesaid specific situation.
Re: Does anybody know a playa/flirty person that’s settled now?
do you have any idea how much rejection an average guy experiences in his lifetime, from women ?
why do you women think that men have a better ability to deal with rejection ?
Re: Does anybody know a playa/flirty person that's settled now?
No she is happily married now and is a successful professional in her field. Not a dumb girl by any means.
I don't think that she thought we were an item, it was more that she felt we hit it off, which we did, and that I did not show up for the next event. If you read the threads in life1, plenty of girls are fairly confused and bothered about 'rishtas' when they don't pan out, or there is no followup. its not that they think they are an item but not knowing or no interest etc hurts people.
MA, that's good, I'm glad she made something of her life. But I was just saying that I really don't like it when girls make a big deal out of small issues (or maybe they think it's major) in the real world. It's one thing coming onto forums like GS, but totally another when someone complains to people in the real world, and it gets reported to the person who caused the upset.
Sorry for derailing the thread....and I don't know any players/flirty person in the first place. :)
Re: Does anybody know a playa/flirty person that's settled now?
from my experience, all the guys who were considered 'players' in highschool love their wives very much now and are very well settled. I think I know of like 3 guys like that!
How bizarre…
If you read with comprehension Einstein, I was discussing a specific example. I did not at any point say that women were innocent and incapable of one-night stands, rather I was querying and commenting about the aforesaid specific situation.
How are your questions in any way related to my comments?