a man or woman( i don’t want this to be a gender issue)
the flirt-happy person that couldn’t keep himself to one woman, his eyes always wandered to greener pastures before but now is a total one woman man, truly and completely in love with only one person? changed for the better…
Re: Does anybody know a playa/flirty person that's settled now?
if I go by their words (on their current relationship/marriage), I know couple :)
Re: Does anybody know a playa/flirty person that’s settled now?
i know at least one 
Re: Does anybody know a playa/flirty person that's settled now?
such guys do settle down but well into their 30's. understandably so bcos they dont want to restrict themselves to one woman so early...like most women, they get a respectable number of dating & sexual opportunities in life
like women, these men are in a better position to make the decision to settle down....unlike the vast majority of men who flip out an engagement ring for the first woman who remotely desires him.... unlike the vast majority of men who are coerced by their need of sex & intimacy to settle down /commit/marry bcos thats the only way they can get sex.
Re: Does anybody know a playa/flirty person that's settled now?
that time is yet to come ..none of those people I knew back in college/uni have yet got married or settled down.
Re: Does anybody know a playa/flirty person that's settled now?
well i haven't come across a desi woman like this, i just can't imagine what would happen to her, don't ever see society allowing her to marry after being so flirty(i am not using any of those derogatory words that society has made up only for women).
Uzair, do you know any man in the nonvirtual world that's like this or are you just thinking that's how it would be for them?
like enigmatic said, all the ones i know are still at it and i'm just wondering what it takes for them to change and become truly in love with only one....is it even possible for them?
Re: Does anybody know a playa/flirty person that's settled now?
well i haven't come across a desi woman like this, i just can't imagine what would happen to her, don't ever see society allowing her to marry after being so flirty(i am not using any of those derogatory words that society has made up only for women).
Uzair, do you know any man in the nonvirtual world that's like this or are you just thinking that's how it would be for them?
you mean player types ?
yep i 'know of' many
Re: Does anybody know a playa/flirty person that’s settled now?
were you really a playa/womanizer? or are you just kidding
if you’re serious, what did it take for you to actually settle down and only be in love with one woman(your wifey now). I mean were you struck by lightening:hmmm:, how does a man like that change his perspective on women and how he sees women.
Re: Does anybody know a playa/flirty person that's settled now?
were you really a playa/womanizer? or are you just kidding
if you're serious, what did it take for you to actually settle down and only be in love with one woman(your wifey now). I mean were you struck by lightening, how does a man like that change his perspective on women and how he sees women.
sorry to butt in, but a player is simply a guy who has a lot of options..
an OK looking woman has a lot of options to date and have sexual relationships, too.
the player guy is not some elusive being as your question implies.
Re: Does anybody know a playa/flirty person that's settled now?
sorry to butt in, but a player is simply a guy who has a lot of options.. an OK looking woman has a lot of options to date and have sexual relationships, too. the player guy is not some elusive being as your question implies.
what do you mean by "a lot of options". the ones i know are just so charming that even if they are average looking somehow they get women that are gorgeous to fall for them. they see how far they get with them and move on. it's like a little game for them. i'm thinking every time a new girl comes along that she is the one that they are actually truly in love with and of course, their eyes wander again to another pretty girl.
What in the world! they are different, i just don't understand their kind. how do they end up seeing the opposite gender like this and what happens to them when they finally settle down. what does it take. I can't imagine age being the only reason they settle, so it really has nothing to do with the woman they settle down with, that they are truly "IN LOVE" with her? their eyes keep seeking even after marriage but they just don't act on it?
well the ones i know are such that the woman they are currently with has an expiry date or something....you know like food.
Re: Does anybody know a playa/flirty person that's settled now?
Yeah, my SO.. and no, his past doesn't bother me one bit..
Re: Does anybody know a playa/flirty person that's settled now?
Yeah, my SO.. and no, his past doesn't bother me one bit..
right and their past wouldn't bother me either, man or woman.
but what i'm trying to understand is that is it really their age or that they don't get the loads of women falling for them anymore like b4 and so that's why they settle like what uzair said?
what did it take for your SO to see that you are the one true love for him?
you must feel pretty special being the one that changed him. i know i would.
I always thought playa types saw women as conquests....once they get the pretty woman to fall in love with him, the game becomes boring and he moves on.
Re: Does anybody know a playa/flirty person that’s settled now?
yeah, i have never kept my past a secret really. There were many women, during undergrad I hardly ever had a long term thing so it was a revolving door, and my pals used to joke that for me cupid used a machine gun with tranquilizers.
as far as the wife goes, she is a very special lady.
I did not change how I see women, or change my perspective. I had the utmost respect for them throughout, but no one was looking for anything permanent anyways. They were not and i was not,.
More than anything, I was just tired of the whole deal before I met the woman, and was now looking for someone special. When it happened, I don’t know, I mean my family was trying to hook me up with several girls but I took no interest, did not really even know how to play the desi family introduced courtship and probably came off as an utter oaf to those ladies because there was no followup from me, did not hang out with them much at family events where we were introduced etc.
Looking back, i feel bad because there were several cases where my lack of understanding the process, I probably came off as a total prick, for example, there was a really cool girl i was introduced to and we hung out at my cousins mehndi and wedding, we clicked well. his valima was in a diff state a week later, she had to take a flight and showed up and while it was a few hours drive for me, I did not because I had work the next day, and later heard that she was shattered at the ‘rejection’ …which was never my intent, i was clueless, and even though i was not seriously looking, hurting someone was never the intent. Now that I see girls here talk about mixed signals from guys and expectations it becomes so much more evident that in these cases guys just don’t know, or at least I did not know.
and yes, even during the time we were not serious there were cases where girls got attached and then it was a very difficult situation. went in knowing there is no long term future and then getting attached. walking away did a number on them, something I am not proud of, but it was the right thing to do. Getting attached was not on the cards and they knew it from the start.
it was really within 6 months of telling my family that I had no interest and to leave me alone until I was 30 is when something changed, I was 25 then.
Re: Does anybody know a playa/flirty person that's settled now?
i know a girl that i was in high school/college with...made some questionable choices in her teen/early adult years, i guess she'd be called "loose", although i think her behaviour was more a cry for help...anyway, she settled down into an arranged marriage (by her choice), and really turned her life around, settling in her with in laws, and trying her best to be a good wife/bahu...bichari, her bad luck, the husband turned out to be a total con, used her for citizenship, dumped her hard (she came home from work to an empty apartment and divorce papers on the table) completely broke her heart (she had just found out she was pregnant too..she miscarried soon after this fiasco started)..they are now divorced, I feel bad for her..she really turned herself around, with pure intent, and she got played big time......
Re: Does anybody know a playa/flirty person that's settled now?
right and their past wouldn't bother me either, man or woman.
but what i'm trying to understand is that is it really their age or that they don't get the loads of women falling for them anymore like b4 and so that's why they settle like what uzair said?
what did it take for your SO to see that you are the one true love for him? you must feel pretty special being the one that changed him. i know i would.
I always thought playa types saw women as conquests....once they get the pretty woman to fall in love with him, the game becomes boring and he moves on.
That's why as much as I wanted him I held back, pretended I couldn't have cared less and let him do all the chasing :D
He still has loads of girls after him tho (inc that bunny boiler from my thread the other day)..
Re: Does anybody know a playa/flirty person that's settled now?
I know lots of players that got married...but did they stop playing?
No.
Re: Does anybody know a playa/flirty person that’s settled now?
**@Deeba1234](http://www.paklinks.com/gs/members/deeba1234.html)**, what exactly did you do to get him to stay interested and keep on chasing you? aren’t you scared that he might do the same to you what he did to other women. that’s always a fear of mine.
X2, but all these women that were with you or your past gfs, they knew you were a flirt or lady’s man. why did these women still take the relationships seriously…hmmm
I personally always steered clear of them, even at the university, you know who they are, i just saw them as way too complicated to understand what kept them going that’s all. after observing them, all i knew was that they are ones that i definitely needed to stay away from.
as friends they’re fine, but watching them do what they do to women causes so much panic in me. not really knowing how much major damage they can do to any woman where they aren’t really emotionally connecting to any one woman.I feel like letting the women know that they charm all women like that and to not take their “i’m in love with you” flirtation seriously. but then again I feel like it’s something these women need to learn on their own and that i should stay out of it…but i still feel bad
Re: Does anybody know a playa/flirty person that's settled now?
I actually know a girl who married a guy that cheated on her even before they got married.
She found out.
She still married him.
He kept a-cheatin.
Re: Does anybody know a playa/flirty person that's settled now?
X2, but all these women that were with you or your past gfs, they knew you were a flirt or lady's man. why did these women still take the relationships seriously.....hmmm
they did not either, ...initially. and that was the challenge, when the basic premise changed for them, on what they wanted, it did not mean it changed for me too.
It would have been something very different if you lie to a person or make statements that are not true, luring them towards something that does not exist. Never did that, wanna hang out, go for a movie, go together to a party, hangout over the weekend, etc etc. It was not all who got attached, just some. Why they did, i don't know. What realistic future exists when you are 19 and living in different continents for example and just met over summer break.
Re: Does anybody know a playa/flirty person that's settled now?
I know lots of players that got married...but did they stop playing?
No.
I agree :).... I know many many many men who stayed players after marriage. The wife has no clue about it because they are naive. Playing with girls becomes a habit that is hard to get rid off. 1girl becomes boring for them. They cant stop until they are in their 50s. Players are hard to catch because they are super experienced..