In my case, turns out a lot. =/ Kinda’ annoying the heck out of me as I am one of those girls that has planned out everything, including names. Now I find out how my MIL MUST get a say in naming my kids (according to the Mr.) because “she never got a single say her entire life and she deserves this much respect”.
I understand all that but naming kids? I mean, seriously? Is there no other way to show respect to your Mother?
Re: Does a MIL have any say in naming your child?
would you be upset if it was ur own mother that wanted a say in naming ur child?
well another thing is u can speak with ur MIL and say what do you think about "such and such" name?
did you not tell ur hubby since the very beginning that u have names in mind to name ur kid?
Re: Does a MIL have any say in naming your child?
so if his mom deserves this much respects then the lady's mom deserves the same respect too.
aqalmandi aur tameez isi main hai ke parents let their kids decide the names for their own kids rather than interferring. yes if they are asked for their opinion then yes they should say it but without forcing it.
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I think both MILs should come up with a name they both like. Lock them up and dont let them out until they come to a consensus.
Thats fair.
Re: Does a MIL have any say in naming your child?
did you not tell ur hubby since the very beginning that u have names in mind to name ur kid?
Of course I did, we decided on names together. I have no clue why he just brought it up out of the blue. Of course I got pissed because I hate people going against their word and now I've become the bad guy.
so if his mom deserves this much respects then the lady's mom deserves the same respect too.
aqalmandi aur tameez isi main hai ke parents let their kids decide the names for their own kids rather than interferring. yes if they are asked for their opinion then yes they should say it but without forcing it.
Ditto. Except my parents dont care about naming my kids, both my parents named us siblings so they dont expect to name their grandkids. And that is what I told him, that naming kids has nothing to do w/ anything as far as respect is concerned and that is when we got into an argument and left on a bad note. I am so irritated. They say to never marry a mama's boy and now I know why. He claims this has nothing to do with mama's boy-tendensies but rather from a respect point of view.
I think both MILs should come up with a name they both like. Lock them up and dont let them out until they come to a consensus.
Thats fair.
Right but this isn't about my mom naming the kids, she doesnt care to interfere at all. It's just him and his urge to be so self-righteous and all. How do I explain to the man that it has nothing to do w/ respect and there are other ways of doing it? I dont see why I should have to compromise on this one. And no, this was not arranged and we discuss this all the time, i have no clue where this came up from, absolutely out of no where.
Re: Does a MIL have any say in naming your child?
if its not too much of big deal let her name one of ur kids
if it is a big deal tell him u already have a name in mind and it is ur right as a mother to name ur child
the other thing u can try is suggesting the name u want to name ur child to ur mum in law and ask her her opinion of it...
another compromise is to name the kid what u want to name him and have the child's middle name as the one ur MIL chooses...and she may call him by that name whereas u can call him by his first name
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That sounds reasonable enough, thank you^
Now if I can figure out a way to help him realize I am not in anyway disrespecting his mom. 
Re: Does a MIL have any say in naming your child?
Ditto. Except my parents dont care about naming my kids, both my parents named us siblings so they dont expect to name their grandkids. And that is what I told him, that naming kids has nothing to do w/ anything as far as respect is concerned and that is when we got into an argument and left on a bad note. I am so irritated. They say to never marry a mama's boy and now I know why. He claims this has nothing to do with mama's boy-tendensies but rather from a respect point of view.
i'll say get to know the names your mil has suggested maybe she is thinking about the same name. as for your hubby you can try explaining him that you are the mother, you respect his mom but the names shoud be decided by you and by him.
another way is that you sit with your mil and tell her like i have decided such and such name for our kid. to that she will either agree or she will suggest the names she has decided. and to that you could say yes they are very nice names but my i am more for the names i have chosen.
ps. what is your mil's reaction? is she like interfering that i will name your kids or just suggesting.
Re: Does a MIL have any say in naming your child?
if u leave emotion out of it and speak with him in a calm manner...just tell him ur becoming a mother and u have certain desires too that have nothing to do with respecting or disrespecting his mother and that in order to fulfill his wishes of letting his mom name ur baby but also fulfill ur own desires as a mother u have come up with a few compromises to meet mid way
Re: Does a MIL have any say in naming your child?
You're not even married yet. Chill out
Re: Does a MIL have any say in naming your child?
m was here: dont make it big deal. keep the middle name of your child according to your MIL wish. :D
Re: Does a MIL have any say in naming your child?
You're not even married yet. Chill out
Which is what I am saying, this is more than just deciding names, it's more about why it's an issue NOW. I am seriously worried, more so that just a debate over BABY NAMES can lead him to get this defensive and pissed. Urgh.
And thank you llxxl and Blessed.
Re: Does a MIL have any say in naming your child?
oh dude i thought u were pregnant....well since ur not even married i wud just avoid this issue for now...when ur pregnant and it comes up again keep in mind what myself and blessed said to you and try to reach a middle ground
Re: Does a MIL have any say in naming your child?
i also thought that u r about to deliver a child.............seriously relax, things change a lot when the husband sees u with a big belly suffering so much ......
Re: Does a MIL have any say in naming your child?
LOL, no. Not pregnant. It was just on my mind since we had a major argument over it, and we hardly argue so I was a little taken aback by how serious it really is to him. Apparently in his family the parents NEVER name their own kids.
I'm sure there has to be someone on here who had a MIL who took to heart her being excluded from the baby-naming process.
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Re: Does a MIL have any say in naming your child?
NO WAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Re: Does a MIL have any say in naming your child?
o_O dayum someone got up on the wrong side of the bed
Re: Does a MIL have any say in naming your child?
it is fairly common in pakistan that they get a say. Ive seen it a lot. Towards that end, ive sorta presented my choice of name to both MIL and mom and sorta made them think its their idea evil
Re: Does a MIL have any say in naming your child?
**Yes I agree with you in that I have all the names picked out etc and so not being given the liberty to name your kid may feel like a huge deal .
Now unless this is the domineering type of MILs who says I shall pick out ALL the kids names I don't see the problem with her picking out the first born's name ........in fact it will make her feel more involved with the kid and you can always name the next one or even if it is this kid you both can name the kid ; lots of kids now have a first and middle name.....e.g Aryan Ali ......so really its a non-issue !
It happened with my sister , her MIL insisted on a name that my sister absolutely hated but instead of arguing she just decided to give the lil girl 2 names , so that now our family have gotten used to calling my niece by the name my sister picked out and her in laws call her by the name they like and everyone is happy with the arrangement.**