Isn’t sadness…an over all air of despair, seductive/alluring in nature.For men if its the lady in despair…they have this strong sense of becoming her saviour..rescuing her from it.Being her knight in shining Armour. On the other hand if its the guy who is the one showing his vulnerable side, it is even more alluring (as that is pretty much rare), and the girl wants to be the one consoling him and again the rescuing him from the despair. What are your opinions guys/girls? Have you experienced/observed such a phenomenon.May be you didnt realize that you were doing it:)
Re: Do you think Sadness is Alluring??
erm sometimes…i guess when i know someones upset i try to ask them whats wrong…but if they dnt wna tell then i guess i try to make them laugh 
…which would usually make em cry 
Re: Do you think Sadness is Alluring??
finding someone who is sad as being attractive is pretty sad.
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Its the concept PyariCGudiya...Its the being the saviour.U dont get it...so move on to another thread.
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whats next? violence against women being considered sexy? rape-fantasies?
lets not give the men mixed messages.
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All this 'saviour' stuff is purely fantasical. if the girl is sad, i would ask her whats wrong; if she doesn't want to tell, i'd leave her alone. simple as that.
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YOu guys are taking it the wrong way...Read the post carefully and then judge....
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^ k; honestly, i would get no saviour feeling if i made someone feel better. i'd just be glad i could help.
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^^Thats good to know. Its just that people have an inate need either to help or be helpful.If it is strong enough it can alleviate a lot of problems in today's society.
Re: Do you think Sadness is Alluring??
Isn't sadness...an over all air of despair, seductive/alluring in nature.For men if its the lady in despair...they have this strong sense of becoming her saviour..rescuing her from it.Being her knight in shining Armour. On the other hand if its the guy who is the one showing his vulnerable side, it is even more alluring (as that is pretty much rare), and the girl wants to be the one consoling him and again the rescuing him from the despair. What are your opinions guys/girls? Have you experienced/observed such a phenomenon.May be you didnt realize that you were doing it:)
Just look at all the "women cry because they're beautiflu" forwards that have been posted on GS or passed around in emails for hte last 10 years :)
Re: Do you think Sadness is Alluring??
Amber11: I fully agree with you. Vulnerability has attraction.
Re: Do you think Sadness is Alluring??
prize of a man in despair is this that he is used to and able to live guilt, after having used a woman's trust, undeniable care and the respect she accords him, to feel a boost to his , so low-self esteem, while eating away at the woman's.
the same man, who could be saying to you, with an assurance as can be sensed in God’s words,
'i want to marry you, and want to be with you, now, if i could',
but when reminded of these words of his own, he will shoot an email just like that, saying ' you cannot make me emotional'.
this is a case of a 'bin paindeye ka piyala'.
may it find a good solid closet, soon to hold itself 'secure'!
so, no more mothering of such 'grown up selfish and coward babies'.
Re: Do you think Sadness is Alluring??
[FONT=Times New Roman] [FONT=Times New Roman] prize of a man in despair is this that he is used to and able to live guilt, after having used a woman's trust, undeniable care and the respect she accords him, to feel a boost to his , so low-self esteem, while eating away at the woman's.
the same man, who could be saying to you, with an assurance as can be sensed in God’s words,
'i want to marry you, and want to be with you, now, if i could',
but when reminded of these words of his own, he will shoot an email just like that, saying ' you cannot make me emotional'.
this is a case of a 'bin paindeye ka piyala'. may it find a good solid closet, soon to hold itself 'secure'!
so, no more mothering of such 'grown up selfish and coward babies'.
....Helping others or wanting help can be a ploy to make others lose their defenses too.That is the type which does takes its toll on the other human being's well being...basicall being an emotional Vampire...feeding off the other person;s emotions to make him/her feel better/good..This basically is a self motivating and deceptive help wanted. Basically that is the one that would be termed as "sick", kind.Emotional Vampires!!!
Re: Do you think Sadness is Alluring??
People often view vulnerability and the expression of despair to be powerful; therefore it is indeed alluring. A person who can openly express such feelings is obviously in touch with his/her feelings… it shows the humane side of them… Being honest about one’s feelings is not something everyone can do… and so when we see that, were subconsciously drawn to to that…if this makes sense…
Re: Do you think Sadness is Alluring??
The pattern is first befriending, then showing a need for emotional cushioning, then sharing the horrible sense of boredom, disappointments and struggles with family and career, then realizing, oh, she is smarter than me, she will not be my hoo-la-hoo ring!
So, even after proposing, making parents meet, assuring that they know, you are the right one, such a man, will run for his life, from you in a wink of an eye and do so in a very blameless manner for his self. The pettiness will show itself through the last words, written and sent, and not said on the face (perhaps to keep that sorry face).
It would be nice, to see how a man would react if a woman were to do this to someone, but a dignified woman is not going to, as it is beneath her, to be so culpable.
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Yup, some people are jut narcisisstic (sp?) and are attracted to and prey on what appears to be inferior, abused, vulnerable, etc...they like the power they have over them, and they find solace in having someone dependent upon them... if and when they want, such an unstable person can be easily manipulated... financially, emotionally, physically...
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^ k; honestly, i would get no saviour feeling if i made someone feel better. i'd just be glad i could help.
you are nice. thanks,
but, the fact is that most and all men mey have never meant it from the heart and followed through, when they portrayed this gesture of theirs and that it contained no ingenuity.
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Re: Do you think Sadness is Alluring??
sadness ... hmmm
sadness of a women is indeed very alluring. Who wouldn t feel drawn towards big beautiful sad eyes of a women, full of longing. It has a mesmerizing effect ... people feel captivated. When a women is sad, it shows her soft side, her sensitivity and feminity. Softness is what women is all about. Whereas, men is all about power and ego, he finds great pleasure in being a saviour. They have no problem lending a shoulder to a crying beauty. Some people think that womens' tears are her strongest yet softest weapon.
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hmmm a good point.....truthfuly..i dont know ive never come across anything like that i think ill have to wait until im married
but there is one thing that people say alot "if u wanna be my freind then are u willing to get your face smashed in for me when im in need"
or if im wrong then i think i dont understand the scenario