Re: do you tell your spouse everything that happens in your own family..
Re: do you tell your spouse everything that happens in your own family..
nadz.....you are pregnant and I feel that you are not being nice towards your baby because you are taking unnecessary tension and stress on your mind. Do you have any idea how much stress , tension & negative thinking affects the baby inside you ? Masha ALlah from your posts I can see that you don't have any REAL REASON to worry , all things are created by yourself and then you worry you think and you think negative. I feel that you need to have a new issue in your life every other day & you love doing that .
If your husband did not inform you then good for you. Why do you want to get yourself involved in your inlaw's affairs when they don't want to involve you. The only thing you should be thinking about right now is your baby and not about your nand's rishta. Your nand's rishta shd be the last thing on your mind. Is all this really worth your attention ? bhar main dalo sub ko sirf apnay baby kay baray main socho and please try to fill your mind with positive thoughts.
Re: do you tell your spouse everything that happens in your own family..
piece of advice...never involve yourself in in-laws affairs. If they ask you for an advice, say I support your decision, if they don't, sit back and enjoy the drama!
Re: do you tell your spouse everything that happens in your own family..
This woman really puts me off the whole idea of marriage.
Re: do you tell your spouse everything that happens in your own family..
^ haha
Re: do you tell your spouse everything that happens in your own family..
I tell my spouse everything and he tells me everything. We often sit back and complain about how annoying our siblings can be or how unreasonable our parents are being :D No secrets between us whatsoever!
Re: do you tell your spouse everything that happens in your own family..
cherry .. u r really lucky then
Re: do you tell your spouse everything that happens in your own family..
Nadzz I can sense childish behavior in your posts, you are pregnant so don't take stress.Whenever your husband will be comfortable he will tell you himself about rishta or any other thing.Give him some space and take a chill pill.Everything will be fine, you just need to learn some patience.
Re: do you tell your spouse everything that happens in your own family..
Nadz, realistically speaking I would be extremely upset too if I were in your position. My recommendation is to talk to him calmly, without creating an argument. Alot really depends on trust level between you and him and about you feel about his family.. If you have positive feelings and he knows , he will feel alot more comfortable sharing it with you... but if you have often spoken about his family apprehensively , then we know the reason why he may not be very comfortable discussing it wth you right now.
another important thing is that after marriage , alot of girls share itsy bitsy details of thier inlaws with their own family. Something that can be a cause of concern for a husband. Particularly since you got married in the family , so their concerns might be that if the news gets out without even being a proper "news" , its only going to cause issues.
all in all , speak to him and let him know of what you heard and ask him if you can be helpful in anyway .. I think that should settle him down and he might open up to you.
Re: do you tell your spouse everything that happens in your own family..
meri ammi tu mujh sai pehley apni bahoo ko sub bata daitee heen 
They are at so good terms that I get jealous sometime. May be because they dont share a home not even city and not even country !
Re: do you tell your spouse everything that happens in your own family..
Nadz, based on recent posts, it seems that you and your husband have a very yours/mine sort of approach. Even your frustration with him highlights your own thinking about his family vs yours. This approach works for a lot of couples. But if you don't like it, then you and your husband both need to talk together and change your own thinking.
Why don't you tell him you heard about his sis, that you are excited, and wish he would've told you? Talk to him without being accusing. And work on one issue at a time. And stop talking to other people more than you talk to him. That's the beginning of the end.
Re: do you tell your spouse everything that happens in your own family..
^ yeah Nadz you should not have yours/mine approach. You guys should have
"mairey bachey aur tumharey bachey mil ker hamarey bachoon ko maar rahey hain" approach...
Re: do you tell your spouse everything that happens in your own family..
oh guys, i dunno man, maybe i am silly. recently i just feel all over emotional, could be preggnancy, i hope it is, i dont like my recent inner feelings....and mostly its for no reason whatsoever, i feel all possessive over him all of a sudden, like hes only mine, and he should tell me everything, and then i make up stories in my head where i imagine the worst secnario such as his mum telling him not to tell me anything about say his sis rishta, and him lauighing and say of course i wont, as in i think of the worst, and i get all possesive and want him all to myself, and i literally want to get a toddler rein and put it on him and just have him in front of me, doing whatever i say and telling me every lil thing.
sounds ridiculous.
also me and my mum talk, and its not necessarily that i tell my husband everything, in fact i dont, but i dont know if i would hide a rishta,who knows. maybe he doesnt even know, and if he does, maybe its not a big enough deal for him to even mention it, hes a guy, i know alot of guys mostly dont think the same as us women, even my own dad, either forgets or doesnt think it worth mentioning to tell mum certain things, although its all inncoent,,,,there have been times where ive asked my husband something, and even then hes like ohuuu yeh aurato wali baatein aurato sai karo- as in gossip.......
still, i feel like asking him, but i cant, because my mum mentioned it, and if i ask him he will know my mum mentioned it, AND THIS IS ONLY IF HE KNOWS, what if he doesnt know and i mention it, thatl be worse.
Re: do you tell your spouse everything that happens in your own family..
Nadz, based on recent posts, it seems that you and your husband have a very yours/mine sort of approach. Even your frustration with him highlights your own thinking about his family vs yours. This approach works for a lot of couples. But if you don't like it, then you and your husband both need to talk together and change your own thinking.
Why don't you tell him you heard about his sis, that you are excited, and wish he would've told you? Talk to him without being accusing. And work on one issue at a time. And stop talking to other people more than you talk to him. That's the beginning of the end.
he doesnt have a mine/yours approach, i think its me, i think i stem 90percent of the issues.:
Re: do you tell your spouse everything that happens in your own family..
Nadz.... very honestly, thats how a married couple starts out.... they don't share much about their families. The sharing and caring about each others' families builds up over time slowly. The key is not to get worked up when you hear such things, even when you're hormonal.
You could of course, go up to him and say casually so my aunt was telling dad kay rishtay ki baat chal rahee hai, do you know about it? Just show you interest .... I honestly don't know why you're getting all worked up about this. If you're curious, just ask.
Secondly, you nitpicking and fighting over everything is seriously going to build up tension in your relationship. If he says something mazaq mein, you can also lightly joke about such things to him too. And yes, this is definitely going to affect your baby's personality........ stop being so negative about everything. Think happy thoughts, watch movies, knit some woolen caps for the baby.... winter's coming :D Just do happy and positive activities.
Also, please do something special for your husband.... you keep thinking about yourself only..... have you done anything special for him lately? Try it, it will make you feel good :)
Re: do you tell your spouse everything that happens in your own family..
it is a big deal only because i never overheard randomly, mum was mentioning it, and he will def know my mum told me, and if its all hush hush then obv he will think my mums blabbing, and i dnt want my mum to look bad. so i cant say anything.
it may be that he doesnt even know. who knows.
Re: do you tell your spouse everything that happens in your own family..
The fact that you can't even ask him about something that's bothering you is not good.
Re: do you tell your spouse everything that happens in your own family..
The fact that you can't even ask him about something that's bothering you is not good.
how can i say where i heard from, itl make my mum look bad, cos thats the only way il know.
Re: do you tell your spouse everything that happens in your own family..
then he'll know. so what?
honesty is better than this ridiculous layering of insecurity and lies.
Re: do you tell your spouse everything that happens in your own family..
Why would it make your mum look bad? Family mein aisi baatein tau chaltee rehtee hain.