AND seriously, i have a few cousins who are married and have 1 or 2 kids,. and they keep going on about how stressful it is to cook and clean and look after kids and this and that, and i have to hear this monologue quite often. everytime i say well i cant do this or that they will say what do you mean i have 2 kds AND im doing it and you have no kids and no husband, so you got no excuse` and they make us unmarried ones feel like they are the only ones allowed to stress in life.
anyway i made the point today that woman for many generations have been doing ALL THIS without making it out like their doing theworld a favour…my cousin has a dishwasher because she said she cooks too and so its too tiring to wash dishes as she has kids etc etc..so i said well our mothers have done with 5 kids…and no dishwasher..anyway cutting it short..she isnt talking to me now…LOL.LOL.LOL…oh welll!!! anywayyyyyyyyy i was kinda looking for a problem to ask yuo guys, so heres one AND NOT REGARDING MY FIANCE FOR ONCE…
Re: do you find that women nowadays moan more about housework than times gone by?
Girl..........you just created a thread not too long ago. And that was about cooking breakfast....a household chore.
At least nowadays, you have vacuum cleaners, detergents, washing machines, to help make things more efficient. And in Pak....many people have a housemaid.
Balance things out. For example....you don't have to cook every day. You can cook several salans that will last several days. A friend of mine pre-makes a few casseroles and freezes them for future use. And then she just pops them in the oven for lunch/dinner. This gives her time to socialize with friends and tend to other activities.
As far as cleaning is concerned.....nobody cleans the house everyday...unless you have OCD. Pick one day of the week....when you will do the dusting/vacuuming. And in Pakistan....the washing and cleaning is taken care of by the housemaid.
Nadz, there are shortcuts to things. You're gonna blow your brains out by worrying too much about things. And after marriage....you're gonna be bored as hell cuz you've already worried about everything already. I have a feeling, you're gonna create a thread on what o name your grandkids pretty soon. Or maybe i'm rushing it. Perhaps it'll be a thread on how to raise a boy or a girl.
Re: do you find that women nowadays moan more about housework than times gone by?
^ It's only a matter of moments before** NJMasti **comes here and laughs at your creating yet another thread on a marriage that hasn't taken place yet. LOL LOL LOL LOL!!!!!!!!!!
Re: do you find that women nowadays moan more about housework than times gone by?
Well first of all, it is quite challenging to run a household and take good care of the kids. As they grow, you have many other responsibilities with them. Many moms are greatly involved in their kids' extracurricular activities and homework etc. Some moms even work in addition to all of that. Well all of us whine at some point and that's because we're human, and maybe your cousins choose to share their woes with you because maybe you listen quietly but if all they did was whine and no work, their lives would have been a mess eh?
Over the years, especially if you live outside of Indo-Pak, you have to do mostly everything yourself such as grocery shopping, cooking etc. etc. whereas back home you have maids who do most of the chores, and while some moms are very organized some struggle to catch up. Now we have aded responsibilities as well with so much competition in schools if you like your kids to be high achievers and part of different programs.
Yes one thing I agree with you is not to assume that someone who isn't exactly in the same situation as you couldn't be busier.
Re: do you find that women nowadays moan more about housework than times gone by?
lol
I seriously think nadz would make a great part of the family - aapni nahi - **padosi’s **family You know live entertainment! and no need to pay for desi channels!
She covers all aspects, the emotional, the jokes, the dramas, BUT in the end there is a meaning to the entire drama - and WE ALL learn from a theme of the story presented.
I have lectured a lot, but mind you, I have learned a lot too
It’s no fun here at GS without the main character NADZ.
okay adding to the new drama series today - nadz, I think I have complained a lot too about housework n’ all, because I did not know how to do it all.
With full time job - I was pretty much inquisitive about how to get help - but unfortunately I found GS lonnnnnnnnngggggggggg after.
Anyways, I have learned that you can complain all you want, but the clock of your life is ticking away. So why not just enjoy the work and be grateful that we are able to be reaching out to everything we can…
Re: do you find that women nowadays moan more about housework than times gone by?
There was much less to life than back in the day. People lived in joint families, so household chores were distributed more evenly. And like RV said, maids did a lot, such as most of the cleaning, prepwork for cooking, cleanup after cooking/dinner and the laundry. Also, kids would come home, and instead of locking themselves in their room with homework or a game console, they would help out more.
And today's women want to be supermoms- constant pressure to look beautiful and also the standards of care are higher, for instance, I don't think kids were bathed everyday whereas now it is unthinkable. Involvement with homework etc, and also there's a lot more distraction, like going online and watching TV, that tend to suck a lot of time, while getting minimal stuff done (the distractions before would be like chatting while working in the kitchen, etc)
also in a way, there are things that make chores easier, but doing them by yourself seems like a lot more than when your relative or a maid is helping out.
Re: do you find that women nowadays moan more about housework than times gone by?
well naz once u r in married moms shoes u'll understand what it is to cope with these things.y not offer ur friend to babysit n housesit for a week while the couple goes on vacation n u'll know what i mean.
Re: do you find that women nowadays moan more about housework than times gone by?
nadz...i'll happily take you in for a few days..i need a break
i think we have less to do than our mums, when my mum came to England in the 60's they had to do everything themselves...no washing machines, cloth nappies...we'd be lost without pampers these days, my mum said that the nappies had to be brilliant white or else your neighbour would criticise you...we are so lucky and priviliged to have state of the art applicances and a very easy life...however its a very fast world. mum always moans at me for not bathing teh kids everyday and keeping on top of the washing and ironing daily.
the problem with us women now is that we have too much of a social life, our mothers lived to make us and the family happy...we feel we are obligated to do it...we'd rather be out shopping or watching a movie or chilling out with the desperate housewives
Re: do you find that women nowadays moan more about housework than times gone by?
I agree that things are different these days, life is generally more fast-paced etc. But I also think that the older generation had pretty much the same issues as our generation. My mom didnt always have a dishwasher, was always involved in all our activities, always kept the house very nicely etc etc. I never heard one complaint. Why? because she'd never let her kids hear her complain! She had her private time while we were in school and this is when she'd chat with her friends or her sisters and blow steam when she felt the need.
The issues are pretty much the same, its just the players that change!
Re: do you find that women nowadays moan more about housework than times gone by?
As a man, yes you women whine a lot. House work is not that hard. I have lived on my own since 19. I held a full time job - 12 hours a day - and got the house hold stuff done.
House work is not hard. Cooking takes 2 hours tops if you have no idea what you are doing. You can cook a decent 3 course meal in 30 minutes. And most of you live in areas where you have shops where you can get the specific things you need and you just need to mix it together.
Re: do you find that women nowadays moan more about housework than times gone by?
As a man, yes you women whine a lot. House work is not that hard. I have lived on my own since 19. I held a full time job - 12 hours a day - and got the house hold stuff done.
House work is not hard. Cooking takes 2 hours tops if you have no idea what you are doing. You can cook a decent 3 course meal in 30 minutes. And most of you live in areas where you have shops where you can get the specific things you need and you just need to mix it together.
CM - Everything you said is true. However, once you have a kid, everything changes.
All the attention you were able to give yourself, while not doing housework, is now gone! Kaput!
A woman seriously does not even get time for a shower. I use to hate this.
I remember one day, it was a horrible cloudy and rainy day. I really wanted to go in for shower... so as soon as my 2 little ones fell asleep - I thought it was a good time. It still HAUNTS me. My son was very much still a newborn category - I would say - cause he was NOT yet turning on the sides... So I put him on our bed with pillows on the sides. He was fast asleep.
So I gathered up my clothes n' towel, and headed towards the bathroom. I heard this LOUD STOMP - and I wasn't sure what that was. This was just seconds after I left my baby. THANK GOD I went back to check. My son was on the floor, face down near the side drawer. It HAUNTS me how that happened. He could not even cry. I am ever grateful to God that he was fine. (Although I know I put pillows on the sides, maybe I should have put him more towards the middle of the bed... but I am so positive he was not on the edge).:(
I said forget shower! I am going no where! :( I was seriously given a second chance with my baby that day.
Re: do you find that women nowadays moan more about housework than times gone by?
You are seriously no fun when I am trolling the forums. Even I am not that big of a jerk to make a stupid comment on that. Either way I am happy you son is okay.
Re: do you find that women nowadays moan more about housework than times gone by?
I remember one day, it was a horrible cloudy and rainy day. I really wanted to go in for shower... so as soon as my 2 little ones fell asleep - I thought it was a good time. It still HAUNTS me. My son was very much still a newborn category - I would say - cause he was NOT yet turning on the sides... So I put him on our bed with pillows on the sides. He was fast asleep.
So I gathered up my clothes n' towel, and headed towards the bathroom. I heard this LOUD STOMP - and I wasn't sure what that was. This was just seconds after I left my baby. THANK GOD I went back to check. My son was on the floor, face down near the side drawer. It HAUNTS me how that happened. He could not even cry. I am ever grateful to God that he was fine. (Although I know I put pillows on the sides, maybe I should have put him more towards the middle of the bed... but I am so positive he was not on the edge).:(
I said forget shower! I am going no where! :( I was seriously given a second chance with my baby that day.
wowww, I had a similar thing happened when my son was a month old....he was sleeping and i put him in the bed, it wasnt really middle of the bed but it wasnt close to edge either and it was a king size bed i put pillow on his both sides....I walked out of room just to iron few clothes and i heard sudden stomping, i RAN back and my son was on the floor faced down and in an oppsite direction from how he was on the bed.... to this day i dont understand how that sould have happened... and he did start crying loud... it took me good 20-30 minutes to calm him down but he was fine Mashallah!
Re: do you find that women nowadays moan more about housework than times gone by?
wowww, I had a similar thing happened when my son was a month old....he was sleeping and i put him in the bed, it wasnt really middle of the bed but it wasnt close to edge either and it was a king size bed i put pillow on his both sides....I walked out of room just to iron few clothes and i heard sudden stomping, i RAN back and my son was on the floor faced down and in an oppsite direction from how he was on the bed.... to this day i dont understand how that sould have happened... and he did start crying loud... it took me good 20-30 minutes to calm him down but he was fine Mashallah!
Re: do you find that women nowadays moan more about housework than times gone by?
back in the day...many women didnt work.
The way I see it...if you cant handle your responsibilties and you are going to moan and groan about it for the rest of your life then leave your job. It's clear that those people cant handle both...and if you are gonna whine and complain that you cant leave your job due to finances....well i have one thing to say (to those ppl) "you cant have your cake and eat it too"
You know live entertainment! and no need to pay for desi channels!