*Salary is important in rishta process to be sure that your giving your daughter in responsible hands. Love, care, money, communication, understanding, and honesty makes a marriage work... My parents would definitely require the fraction number of earnings because people have been deceiving alot these days. Proper investigation is important so the couple dont argue over money in future..... WHAT IF'S DON'T COUNT: whether the person loses job, money is based on education, and etc..... You can also say what if he gets into an accident? what if this and what if that... Marriage is a life time commitment, therefore, you gotta be smart about ur decision. *
^It's not only about the education. It is about how ambitious my fellow men are.
Adding to kkf, some phds or ppl with masters are highly un-employed so this doesn't mean kai zindagi aram say gozrai gi. A person should have little bit of everything and most importantly in my eyes if someone is truthful and honest in their ambitions and goals. And seriously pursuing these goals. For me this is what matters most. Again..where do you find girls like that???????
There are smart ways of figuring out someone's salary without having to request their pay stubs. Doctors, Engineers and Lawyers make good salaries so that should be enough to know that the girl would be well looked after. Also, if you have grown up in an educated and refined family, then it doesn't take more than 2 minutes for you to figure out the difference between a guy making minimum wage and one making a good salary. A person's personality and lifestyle can give a lot of clues about their pay/education.
Well when your in the process of discussions people say where they work and what career they belong in and how long they have done it. At times the subject of earnings are not brought up directly based on the observation of the families and though their discussions. Parents of both sides usually have a good idea as to if it will proceed.
Ofcourse it's ok to ask, when the guy's family can ask about the girl's height and if she is "gori chitti" then wth is wrong with being concerned about a very valid thing i.e the pay. Often people exaggerate their pays but it is very much possible atleast in pak to chk on that.
That is nonsense … David Beckham vs Professor Jones
Family business owner vs R&D technician
Rizq is written down … if you want to know the income of a person … ask him - guessing what potential he can earn from his qualifications is impossible … you’ll also need to look at his ability to land a good job in his field, whether he is working in his field or not and so on. If he is half decent though he will want to marry someone who is more concerned for how he will treat his wife in every financial situation not how much he can donate to his wife at the point of marriage. If he gets the idea that people are only as deep as their pockets do you think that will make him enthusiastic about marrying ones daughter?
girl's family can ask for information on salary and not the salary slip. guy's family are not so seedhay sadhay to tell the right salary if the their son's/brother's salary is very low .
i never understood these rishta processes. people should be efficient enough to find spouses by themselves.
I think it will take 1 or 2 more generations to come to that stage when majority of the parents will only be given invitations by their children to come and attend their sons/ daughters weddings.
Every parent wants their daughter to marry a guy who is working at a great company and earning loads....however this is not always the case...but as parents it is polite to ask..if you find this question comfortable, how much do you earn? and yes after marraige their job could finish...but still as parents I would want to know...as long as they are educated they should inshallah get a good job...but its nice to know whether they can afford ur daughter too..just my personal opinion..
Whats the problem with this auction thing? If guys family can ask everything about girl like her height, her complexion, her education, her job, her family status, her fathers back ground then it is a girls family right to select a best earning man for her daughter. If you can reject any girl bcoz she is not gori or lambi or her younger sister is more beautiful and lively then you should be ready to be rejected by her parents on salary basis.
p.s. you means majority of guys not only YOU
What if girls family ask for same things in return… means archives of your emails and fb account. You have very serious issues with fb and girls on fb.. I am wondering why??? Its not necessary that bad character girls have everything on her fb account. May be she is very good in hiding things on fb as most of the girls and guys have whole family on their friendlist so they don’t openly discuss everything on fb.
I don’t think so that you can guess guy’s earning on thier education info. One of my school friend is Mechanical Engineer and mostly he is jobless or doing job on very low salary amount. As KKF has said that even many phds and other highly qualified people are doing odd jobs… so its not easy to guess right salary for a person.
My family always ask for pays but we don’t ask for salary slip etc. We just do inquiry in the related industry and we do all the inquiry like where he is working and on what designation etc. They are basic thing which girls family should consider before taking final decision.
If a guy has good job experience and he loses his job due to some reasons then girls family have some surety that he could find a good job in near future.
Ok, fair enough, I'll bite. The girl and her family want paystubs, tax records etc to validate the guys salary. Good, done.
Now, I want to validate that the girl is as "shareef" as she/her family claims. Can I get access to her archived emails/Facebook account just to see the girl hasnt had any past flings or just "hung out" with dudes?
you’re confusing yourself. Asking is one thing and then NOT believing and trying to over-validate is another thing. As I said earlier, asking a guys salary is fair, but asking for paystubs/w2s is taking it a bit too far. It’s the girl and her family choice on what factors to base their decision on. If paycheck is the sole factor - then good for them.
Thats why i said email archives if a girl or her family wants to see paystub to VALIDATE the guy is being truthful abt his salary, then its well within the rights for the guy and his family to ask for anything to VALIDATE that the girl is being truthful abt her being “shareef”
Then we should not ask for "shararafat". What if he becomes aawara badmash after marriage? :)
and on serious note: Although potential should be given more weight but still knowing the salary give some extra layer of satisfaction to girl's parents and as a guy, I dont mind it.
after reading a lot of rishta related topics here i was surprised that how many people ask guy's salary in rishta process, i don't know why but it's not common in my family. we just look for education information, if the guy has a good degree he will INSHALLAH endup with a decent job that will pay accordingly.
so i was just wondering if ur parent's ask guy's salary, and he said some amount, but after engagement he get layed off from the job, or changed job to less salary, do you guys break the engagement because of that issue??
To be fair in the desi culture I wouldn't be surprised if the larkay walay themselves tell them the larki walay how much their son earns lol
but on a serious note...when you have professionals (lawyers, doctors etc) you can pretty much assume that it will be a good salary. But with an ambiguous job title....i don't know what example to give for that! But then the parents may need clarity on that. I personally don't see anything wrong with it! If there is potential etc then he could say that there is. He doesn't need to keep it a secret. He can state his intentions/ambitions
I think it will take 1 or 2 more generations to come to that stage when majority of the parents will only be given invitations by their children to come and attend their sons/ daughters weddings.
actually that's how it should be done, islamically speaking.
If guys family can ask everything about girl like her height, her complexion, her education, her job, her family status, her fathers back ground then it is a girls family right to select a best earning man for her daughter. If you can reject any girl bcoz she is not gori or lambi or her younger sister is more beautiful and lively then you should be ready to be rejected by her parents on salary basis.
Its not necessary that bad character girls have everything on her fb account. May be she is very good in hiding things on fb as most of the girls and guys have whole family on their friendlist so they don’t openly discuss everything on fb. 
if a girl or her family wants to see paystub to VALIDATE the guy is being truthful abt his salary, then its well within the rights for the guy and his family to ask for anything to VALIDATE that the girl is being truthful abt her being “shareef”