in order to appear madran?
Re: do we really have to diss our culture all the time?
Yes. We dont want to appear as paindus now, do we?
Re: do we really have to diss our culture all the time?
^And some ppl will try and make their culture off-limits to any criticism at all - even if it's valid such as in the case of forced marriages and so on..
Things can't change unless problems are adressed rather than swept under the carpet.. I've heard the same noisy minority of posters over and over again pretend such things aren't going on despite new girls coming on this forum all the time saying they aren't being allowed to marry outside their family or caste..
The same desi ppl who are blind to the faults of their culture are no different to the right wingers in the US, those Tea Party fanatics or the BNP or EDL in the UK who call themselves so-called 'patriots' but are in reality extremists.. They share that same 'quality' in that they can't handle any criticism or analysis of their culture that shows it as less than perfect and start attacking anyone who speaks out against their so-called traditions..
It's not about being 'madran' it's about identifying and dealing with (sometimes difficult) issues so we can progress as a society.
Re: do we really have to diss our culture all the time?
in order to appear madran?
Its called inferiority complex...
Re: do we really have to diss our culture all the time?
I appreciate where our culture, values and ethics are criticized with good intentions. We, however, are most of the time ever ready to blame every thing to desi culture and thinking.
My question comes from gems like these:
Since we felt that looking down upon child out of marriage in our culture cannot really be justifiably criticized, the discussion was turned to adoption where it would be easier to bash desi culture.
There was a post where someone in very poor English attempted to ridicule the standard of English of brides imported from ‘back home’. There was also posts where desi men were bashed cuz they prefer slim girls as if rest of the world was crazy about obese roses.
These are just examples, and there are many more pearls of wisdom like these spilling around here.
Re: do we really have to diss our culture all the time?
lol, Deeba 
Re: do we really have to diss our culture all the time?
:k:
Those who do blame a lot of things on desi culture think that they are more civilized, more intelligent and better than the average ‘backward’ desi person.
Re: do we really have to diss our culture all the time?
Don't diss it all , just the parts you don't like . If people have been following this culture for centuries it is bound to have some good parts in it . No ?
Re: do we really have to diss our culture all the time?
Our culture sucks.
Re: do we really have to diss our culture all the time?
I appreciate where our culture, values and ethics are criticized with good intentions. We, however, are most of the time ever ready to blame every thing to desi culture and thinking.
My question comes from gems like these:
Since we felt that looking down upon child out of marriage in our culture cannot really be justifiably criticized, the discussion was turned to adoption where it would be easier to bash desi culture.
There was a post where someone in very poor English attempted to ridicule the standard of English of brides imported from 'back home'. There was also posts where desi men were bashed cuz they prefer slim girls as if rest of the world was crazy about obese roses.
These are just examples, and there are many more pearls of wisdom like these spilling around here.
My post was actually NOT critiquing our culture at all...it was more so wondering if our rules are relaxing in reference to these things. WHY must it be a problem to ask these things and what is so offensive about it?
Its not just YOUR culture...its MY culture also. And self-reflection is NOT a bad thing.
Since when is it considered maaaaadran to look at our society's faults and recognize them? Seriously?!
Re: do we really have to diss our culture all the time?
Our culture sucks.
i dont know if this is sarcasm, but im going to agree to it.
Our culture sucks for sure!
And to whose who say, that our culture gives us values and what not.... i dont fully agree with this.
If our culture teaches us to treat a bhabhi/nand like a 3rd class citizen, if it teaches us to always think the MIL is talkign rubbing, where it teaches us to bestow a dozen gifts to a family member who really has no role in ur marrige, on the wedding day.... where our culture says this cant be done, cus flaan flaan kya soche ga....
it really does suck
And I really dont want to be a part of this stuff
Re: do we really have to diss our culture all the time?
because dissing other cultures is RACIST!
Re: do we really have to diss our culture all the time?
no it's not.... race is independant of culture
Re: do we really have to diss our culture all the time?
You cant say that "because I am a pakistani... it is completely ok for me to diss my bhabhi/nand/MIL... and if u say you dont like it... then ur a racist!"
thats just illogical
Re: do we really have to diss our culture all the time?
i dont get the question..can someone plez explain
Re: do we really have to diss our culture all the time?
Yeah because we got a country & culture for free that we ourselves de-value enormously!
Re: do we really have to diss our culture all the time?
What does being "modern" have anything to do with criticism? How are the two connected? Is being critical a prerequisite to being modern? It really doesn't make sense.
Do we really have to diss our culture all the time? Um....so should we praise it blindly ALL the time? Would that be healthy and do any good. There are many aspects of our culture that I like....and many that I'm annoyed and even disguested by. Does that make me less Pakistani? Improvement, whether it's on a larger/societal scale ...or....an individual one requires self-reflection and having the courage to look at and admit to things that are wrong. Moreover, many of the cultural beliefs that turn people off are not supported by Islam and have ALWAYS been wrong....and in that there's no "new-ness or modernity" if that makes sense. Just because a belief or practice is so deep-rooted in a culture doesn't necessarily make it valid, ethical, correct, or beneficial. If the criticism reflects common sense......then I don't see how sensible thinking is "modern or cool."
Hope you liked this "gem" much better than the previous one...was planning to stay away for the most part...but decided to come back for a while for this one.
Re: do we really have to diss our culture all the time?
i dont get the question..can someone plez explain
Is it acceptable to criticize desi culture just to look cool, enlightened, educated etc. ?
Re: do we really have to diss our culture all the time?
My post was actually NOT critiquing our culture at all...it was more so wondering if our rules are relaxing in reference to these things. WHY must it be a problem to ask these things and what is so offensive about it?
Its not just YOUR culture...its MY culture also. And self-reflection is NOT a bad thing.
Since when is it considered maaaaadran to look at our society's faults and recognize them? Seriously?!
No, your post was fine. It was a genuine question and deserved serious replies. The discussion was, however, turned to adoption where it is easier to bash desi culture.
I am not saying our culture and values are amazing and great. They really do have a lot of weak points. Just saying that criticizing it for the sake of it is not cool :P
Re: do we really have to diss our culture all the time?
I brought up the topic of adoption, and NO, it was not to bash our culture. There are other ways of having child without being married....and in that broader sense...it is connected to the OP's question. It's something that I've thought of/been interested in...so I brought it up. And once I started thinking about that...I also thought of how it would be perceived by society. The OP's question also dealt with society's perceptions. It's the whole one thought leading to another...and they're all connected. It's not unusual for our thoughts to branch out to other relevant issues...so I don't find my thought process in that thread to be strange. But to jump to the conclusion that the intent is to bash......:-/...and if one does state something negative about our culture...something that we're aware of...that we acknowledge..that is not fair/reasonable/beneficial...I don't consider it bashing.