Do ppl really have to marry the person

[zobia]

@Jaanwar

**zobia **- Thanks only the best photographers for my portraits :k:

lol. r u the one who married Ashveriya Rai (i mean she married to a three, and a banana and a monkey, etc)

[Iggle]

they express the love for?

i dont get it...i mean why getting marrying the person u love is really necessary cuz first of all u cant love someone entirely (as one can only love specific aspects of anyones personality) and second reasoning is based on my cognition and that is the ratio of getting divorce/separation is load more than arrange marriages.

or are we still unaware of what exactly the love is?

"Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired"

Love is an incredible experience. Hope you fall in love soon! Hehe! :)

[Housewife]

Re: Do ppl really have to marry the person

iggle i used to think like that too ...of course everyones experience are different. now i think that the only true love exists between a mother and her children. it is with my children that i experience what unconditional love is.

[NaMaan]

Re: Do ppl really have to marry the person

naaaaaa ... its not important. Just chill ... everything else is just drama bazi :p

[sadzzz]

iggle i used to think like that too ...of course everyones experience are different. now i think that the only true love exists between a mother and her children. it is with my children that i experience what unconditional love is.

that is a very different type of love

u cannot compare the love for a child/mother to one for your partner...

[sameenji]

There is a person in this world you want to spend your life with.I think girls should always marry a guy who loves her alot.Otherwise im antimarriages(against marriages),really.

Love is something you cannot describe.

[zobia]

@iggle

“Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired”

Love is an incredible experience. Hope you fall in love soon! Hehe!

read the post #7](http://www.paklinks.com/gs/life-relationships/314478-do-ppl-really-have-marry-person.html#post6387309).

i never deny the existence of love. and i also never said that i am not love. but love doest have to be restricted to an opposite sex only.

[Captain_FT]

well infact in my opinion, yes there is dramay bazi in love nowadays to many extent, but still true love also exists.

it is also true that in true love, u sideline ones faults but it is also not the way that one tolerates others immoral acts if any such as physical contact.

Our Prophet Hazrat Muhammad(SAW) also had true love for any person in the world either he/she is father, mother or daughter or wife or else others. but he did never compromised on unIslamic and immoral acts of any person.

so here, we cannot say that he (Nauzobillah Min Zalik) does not had true love. we must also understand wisely and by keeping in mind our Islamic rules and laws that what is actually true love. it's not to cross the Islamic limits and then to say that it is a true love.

:)

[UZ]

@zobia

read the post #7](http://www.paklinks.com/gs/life-relationships/314478-do-ppl-really-have-marry-person.html#post6387309).

i never deny the existence of love. and i also never said that i am not love. but love doest have to be restricted to an opposite sex only.

Zobia there is a difference between before marriage and after marriage love.I think love grows by the time and as most of people have already said it here that loving your better half is accepting his/her faults also.And I think you are religious and smart girl you can easily understand the circle of life somethings needs to be done, so love for opposite sex in a right manner is not gunnah.And I think since you are young and unmarried you are afraid of loving someone so its quite normal.You shouldn’ be afraid of anything Inshallah the fears you are having will go away and you become more confident as you will settle in matrimonial life.

[UZ]

@Niksik

Zobs, think for a minute that you are married to someone. But you love some qualities of other men. How would that be especially when you tell your husband “jaanu, I love the way Munawar walks or honey, I am totally crazy about the way Mehboob talks.”

When you love someone, you erase what you don’t like about them. And think about it, it’s better to marry someone who’s qualities you love. You can never really know everything about anyone unless you start living with them as their spouse.

Now regarding divorces, you’ll be surprised how many divorces and extra marital affairs we are having in our muslim community these days, most of which were “arranged” marriages. Sometimes I think that people who have “love” marriages actually work harder at their marriages because they go through tough times initially and are judged harder.

But again, I don’t want to generalize here.

Please don’t generalizw this as you have already said there are lots of girls and boys here who will or may be they will have arrange marriages and may be they turn out to be successful.I have an arrange love marriage but ALhamdulillah I am very successful, please don’t mind but you are giving wrong message here that only love marriage succeeds and arrange marriage gets a divorce it will effect lot of readers .

[Niksik]

Re: Do ppl really have to marry the person

UZ, didn’t you read that I wrote that “but again, I don’t want to generalize here” to clear myself already . Of course I know that still majority of marriages in our culture are arranged and are successful, but at the same time, love marriages aren’t the ones that are usually the ones doomed either. I was just trying to make Zobia undertsand that

[UZ]

Well I never saw love marriage doomed to be honest but arrange marriages are not a failure also.Zobia samjho agar chaho to love marriage ker aur chaho to arrange marriage ko love mein convert ker lo.

[Niksik]

Re: Do ppl really have to marry the person

the success of a marriage depends on the 2 people in it. A 100% from each regardless of them being arranged or not.

So going back to the original post, Zobs, don’t think too much

[Captain_FT]

humaray muashray me sb se ziada burai ye bhi ha k larkion ki zabardasti ar unki marzi k khilaaf shaadiyan bhi ker di jati hn, kabhi jahil log Quran se Nauzobillah ker detay hn to kabhi bohot hi choti ya bohot zaiada umar k buddhay se.

aur yahen se naitafaqi phelti ha. asal me aajkal log khawateen ko Islamic rights denay ki bjaey janwar samajhtay hn aur kamzor samajh k unkay haqooq ghassab kertay hn aur uski sharafat ka najaez faida uthatay hn.

isliay aurat ko bhi apna mukammal difa aur apnay Islami haqooq aur fraez ka mukamil ilm hona chahiye.

baaqi yes kuch factors pasand, napasand k bhi hotay hn lekin kuch arranged marriages bhi successful ho jati hn.

:)

[Silver_Falcon_Of_Kashmir]

When you love someone, you erase what you don't like about them. And think about it, it's better to marry someone who's qualities you love. You can never really know everything about anyone unless you start living with them as their spouse.

Now regarding divorces, you'll be surprised how many divorces and extra marital affairs we are having in our muslim community these days, most of which were "arranged" marriages. Sometimes I think that people who have "love" marriages actually work harder at their marriages because they go through tough times initially and are judged harder.

But again, I don't want to generalize here.

I agree.

Besides, I am so tired of this lame argument that love marriages are doomed to be unsuccessful mostly...and arranged marriages are so perfect and always a 'hit'.

Come to think of it, who collects all these statistics?What is the criteria of a successful marriage?How do you know that many people in arranged marriages aren't having a lousy married life?(I am not saying that they should have it). The success or failure of a marriage need not be related to how the couple initially got together.

Also, just because someone is not divorced, doesn't mean that they have a very happy marriage. If we look around, I see more people unhappily tied to each other due to social pressure, or pressure from family. They cannot opt out of it, because of what will people say, or what will their family feel. Some were married in the first place because their parents forced them, emotionally blackmailed them. How can such people be expected to think of a divorce even if they are unhappy, because they had no say in the process of marriage itself?

So, even if we assume that there are fewer divorces in arranged marriages, that may not necessarily be for lack of discord amongst them.

[Gr8Heera]

well infact in my opinion, yes there is dramay bazi in love nowadays to many extent, but still true love also exists.

it is also true that in true love, u sideline ones faults but it is also not the way that one tolerates others immoral acts if any such as physical contact.

Our Prophet Hazrat Muhammad(SAW) also had true love for any person in the world either he/she is father, mother or daughter or wife or else others. but he did never compromised on unIslamic and immoral acts of any person.

so here, we cannot say that he (Nauzobillah Min Zalik) does not had true love. we must also understand wisely and by keeping in mind our Islamic rules and laws that what is actually true love. it's not to cross the Islamic limits and then to say that it is a true love.

:)

humaray muashray me sb se ziada burai ye bhi ha k larkion ki zabardasti ar unki marzi k khilaaf shaadiyan bhi ker di jati hn, kabhi jahil log Quran se Nauzobillah ker detay hn to kabhi bohot hi choti ya bohot zaiada umar k buddhay se.

aur yahen se naitafaqi phelti ha. asal me aajkal log khawateen ko Islamic rights denay ki bjaey janwar samajhtay hn aur kamzor samajh k unkay haqooq ghassab kertay hn aur uski sharafat ka najaez faida uthatay hn.

isliay aurat ko bhi apna mukammal difa aur apnay Islami haqooq aur fraez ka mukamil ilm hona chahiye.

baaqi yes kuch factors pasand, napasand k bhi hotay hn lekin kuch arranged marriages bhi successful ho jati hn.

:)

Zabardast posts Masha Allah.

[kali_billi]

Re: Do ppl really have to marry the person

silver falcon: i 100% agree with u!

[Gr8Heera]

they express the love for?

i dont get it...i mean why getting marrying the person u love is really necessary cuz first of all u cant love someone entirely (as one can only love specific aspects of anyones personality) and second reasoning is based on my cognition and that is the ratio of getting divorce/separation is load more than arrange marriages.

or are we still unaware of what exactly the love is?

No it's not important but its better to marry the person who loves you. My bad I rejected that person.

If he loves you then he will ignore your weaknesess. That way he won't fight with you and you will not have a problem in life. But that love has to be the true love not showy love just to get you and then that will change after marriage. But if the person loves you truly then life will become living in the clouds.

Zobi you must be perfectionist. Yeah you can't find a person whose everything you would love. But you could find different ppl and different relation and different type of love. You will find more things lovely in one persona and less in another person.

Like as your 2 uncles you can love one uncle more and other less. Few things in one and more things in other that make them the favourite one.

Marriage doesn't depend upon arrange or love but the persons who are marrying. Their understanding + Love + compromise + family background + education + your own parents relationship + Sacrifice and many more.

Those things actually make your marriage work not Love or arrange marriage.

It has no value but we give importance to those things and it depends upon which one we give value to. LOve or Parents.

Yes if you think that you gona love him/her and want stay with him/her then you will do everything and even start loving to a arrange person whom you never met in life a single time just saw in your hujla uroosi or in husbands house room.

What actually matter is we whole world and especially muslim are on a totally wrong path. How.

Aisay kay we thing we love and do love and think that is true love to an opposite sex.

That is actually not love that is haram as looking at na mahram is mana so how could loving him be good. That is shaitan kaam we start loving a na mahram that is totally haram.

True love or love or real love is basically to Allah. We have to love Allah.

Yes you have to love whole universe as Allah would love those but not a specific single opposite sex.

Yes could love your parents relatives friends and whole human being.

Someone may like you when you are bayparda infront of him/her. Or may be from the perday they may like you too. And if that person offer you to marry him/her As hazrat khadija asked to Muhammad SAWW to marry her.

What she gave value to or how she knew him was from his actions and imandari other stuffs as Muhammad SAWW use to do tijarat for her.

After marriage what matters is TRUE LOVE in an arranged or Love marriage.

All types of marriage flop and all types of marriage work. All types of marriage seems happy and all types of marriage seem un happy.

It all depends upon the PERSONS whose ability to deal with.

[Gr8Heera]

@Jaanwar

Love can be the best and the worst thing that can happen to you. Marrying or not marrying depends on the circumstances.

Zabardast Well said.

@zobia

there are three types of lover i have discovered so far.

1. one who sees the rose and urged to touch it, seperate it from its stem and either puts it his/her book, or put it in some decoration piece or Trashes it.

2. the second one just sits there and adorns the beauty of the rose. he/she wont gonna touch it cuz he/she believes that their sins might gonna impure the pure [rose] soul.

3. and third one only keeps its [rose’s] image, its purity in his/her heart.

now u can all decide whether i ever loved someOne ever or not.

You know the love very well. Gr8 explanation.

@Niksik

Zobs, think for a minute that you are married to someone. But you love some qualities of other men. How would that be especially when you tell your husband “jaanu, I love the way Munawar walks or honey, I am totally crazy about the way Mehboob talks.”

When you love someone, you erase what you don’t like about them. And think about it, it’s better to marry someone who’s qualities you love. You can never really know everything about anyone unless you start living with them as their spouse.

Now regarding divorces, you’ll be surprised how many divorces and extra marital affairs we are having in our muslim community these days, most of which were “arranged” marriages. Sometimes I think that people who have “love” marriages actually work harder at their marriages because they go through tough times initially and are judged harder.

But again, I don’t want to generalize here.

So yours is LOVE MARRIAGE. Mera shuk sahi nikla.

[Gr8Heera]

I agree.

Besides, I am so tired of this lame argument that love marriages are doomed to be unsuccessful mostly...and arranged marriages are so perfect and always a 'hit'.

Come to think of it, who collects all these statistics?What is the criteria of a successful marriage?How do you know that many people in arranged marriages aren't having a lousy married life?(I am not saying that they should have it). The success or failure of a marriage need not be related to how the couple initially got together.

Also, just because someone is not divorced, doesn't mean that they have a very happy marriage. If we look around, I see more people unhappily tied to each other due to social pressure, or pressure from family. They cannot opt out of it, because of what will people say, or what will their family feel. Some were married in the first place because their parents forced them, emotionally blackmailed them. How can such people be expected to think of a divorce even if they are unhappy, because they had no say in the process of marriage itself?

So, even if we assume that there are fewer divorces in arranged marriages, that may not necessarily be for lack of discord amongst them.

I agree with you too.

Yes ppl think and say things from their own perspective or understanding or experience. Which might be different from person to person.

Yes marriage depends only on 2 persons and all the qualities of those person and will to work out to stay togather or seperate or divorce.

As HW decide not to live any more before for 15 years she decided to work out so she spend 15 years. It all depend on soach to work out or leave.