Re: do mothers always know best?
just hope to God the mom doesn't get blamed for the baby being hospitalised....
Re: do mothers always know best?
no PK I dont think that is the case :) x
Re: do mothers always know best?
^ hope things have improved.
Re: do mothers always know best?
Sorry to say this but I feel everyone needs to back off. Let the mother take care of her child. The husband and the wife should be let to take care of the without other people's interference. If they as MIL or anyone else for suggestions, only then other people should interfere. Yes, MIL would have more experience, other people might know better as well, but the only way this mother will learn is from her mistakes.
Re: do mothers always know best?
I think in both of these threads it is important to think about possible harm to the child, first. And the feelings/comfort/respect for the mother or grandparent second. All parents need to be able to raise their children the way they want to. But, bundling a child up in very hot conditions could cause SERIOUS issues. The same with infants being fed tea/honey/solids before they are ready. If someone is doing harm to a child- they need to be stopped- no matter who it is.
That said, people need to seriously think about the line between what can harm a child and what they may just disagree with. Wipes vs. washing seems to be something to let the parent make the personal choice on. Overheating a feverish child should not.
Re: do mothers always know best?
I dont think anywhere in OPs posts, anything suggests that the MIL or OP are continuosly nagging so I dont understand what it means to back off of her and leave her alone.
Giving suggestions if you see a baby/child is being treated (not intentionally though) in the wrong manner should not be equated as getting on the nerves of the mother.
I could be wrong but it makes me think, half the comments are based on or reply to other coments and not in reply to OPs posts.
Re: do mothers always know best?
If she is not taking suggestions, instead locking herself with the child in the room pretty much spells out..."leave me alone". In this situation her husband should discusses these issues with a doctor in front of her. She will better respond to what doctor says.
Being a new mother is not easy. We can be very defensive and at that time suggestions coming from the family can be quite overwhelming.
Just my two cents! :)
If she is not taking suggestions, instead locking herself with the child in the room pretty much spells out..."leave me alone". In this situation her husband should discusses these issues with a doctor in front of her. She will better respond to what doctor says.
Being a new mother is not easy. We can be very defensive and at that time suggestions coming from the family can be quite overwhelming.
Just my two cents! :)
If u read op original post DR told her to wash the baby with water and she ignored it and then when mil ask her y she is not doing what dr said then the leave me alone attitude started
Re: do mothers always know best?
Yes, I read it but why can't we read that she is not liking the interference. I am not defending her actions. All I am saying that if she is not taking the suggestions and giving an attitude, then she should be left alone. If someone should interfere, that is the husband. If she is not washing the baby, he should pick the baby and wash.
Re: do mothers always know best?
Yes, I read it but why can't we read that she is not liking the interference. I am not defending her actions. All I am saying that if she is not taking the suggestions and giving an attitude, then she should be left alone. If someone should interfere, that is the husband. If she is not washing the baby, he should pick the baby and wash.
So if u r living with someone that is a close relative or family in same situation ignoring dr advise u wouldn't interfere and let the baby suffer because mum has some ego issues.
Re: do mothers always know best?
From memory, I dont think he OP said that a doctor was involved with advising how to take care of he baby's bottom.
In regards to living with close family and watching a baby suffer... No, I would not get involved. It's not my place to advise on something that I am not 100% sure about.
Re: do mothers always know best?
I have witnessed such a situation. The MIL did not say a word to the DIL. It was the husband who always intervened. There were times when the husband took the charge and did what was needed...washing the baby/kids, feeding medicines, etc .
Again, I am not supporting this mother's action but the only person who can play an effective role in this whole scenario is the husband.
Re: do mothers always know best?
w?........ell chips I am not sure 2 days she was diagnosed with a UTI at Agha Khan and the doctor advised washing during changes.
From memory, I dont think he OP said that a doctor was involved with advising how to take care of he baby's bottom.
Here
Re: do mothers always know best?
^ apologies, I missed that.
Re: do mothers always know best?
The husband himself is a doctor and pretty busy also the husband is the kind of person who will say to his mother ' I dont know anything you do it ' :/ he hasn't practiced clinical medicine for years but I think this is no excuse to say I dont know anything! its just lazyness and he has a few moments of holding the baby but thats it.
The husband unfortunately is not the most helpful :(
I don't like him very much lol
Thinking about it - there might be more going on that I can actually see..? as in terns of personal relationships
Re: do mothers always know best?
the MIL should be patient with her DIL's reaction i.e making faces or getting uncomfortable with the advices.....as mil herself has raised kids n she definitely herself went through babyblues(or if its not babyblues then she know that how hectic it is to handle a newborn n be a first time mom) she should not mind her attitude at all......
this attitude will go away if other people will be patient with her inshaAllah
Re: do mothers always know best?
The husband himself is a doctor and pretty busy also the husband is the kind of person who will say to his mother ' I dont know anything you do it ' :/ he hasn't practiced clinical medicine for years but I think this is no excuse to say I dont know anything! its just lazyness and he has a few moments of holding the baby but thats it.
The husband unfortunately is not the most helpful :(
I don't like him very much lol
Thinking about it - there might be more going on that I can actually see..? as in terns of personal relationships
Most probably,yes!
I hope the baby is doing well now.
Re: do mothers always know best?
Chips! Babys fever has come down.
They have changed the baby's name to Amina now - it was changed for some reason.
MIL has suggested the DIL go her own mothers house for a week or so if she feels better there esp after a traumatic experience of baby being in hosp.
InshAllah all will go well and relationships will improve all round.
Re: do mothers always know best?
Good to hear baby is doing fne now :)
Re: do mothers always know best?
Glad baby is well. MIL should probably be talking to her son and encouraging a healthier relationship between the couple. And he should be taking every opportunity to bond with is new baby and give the new mom a break. She'll hopefully get over her weirdness with time and patience.