My cousins wife does not wash her baby after during a dirty nappy change she only wipes as she is scared of thanda ( in 43 degrees lol) my khala is very worried as the baby is only 5 weeks and had a UTI.
When my khala who raised 6 kids asked her DIL to wash her baby after a change she got really defensive.
Do mothers always know best? IF we feel we should advise a mother what is the best way to approach it?
Re: do mothers always know best?
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Re: do mothers always know best?
Mothers THINK they always know the best 'cuz they have the best interests of their kid at heart.
Re: do mothers always know best?
Motherhood is not just about logic/practicality all the times, its also peace of mind. If the mother has peace of mind that the baby is more safe from cold bu just wipimg the baby, your khala should let her.
Khala raised her 6 kids without intervention of her MIL, let this mom have the same 
Re: do mothers always know best?
Mothers dont always know best.
But, other mothers shouldnt think they know whats best for someone else's child either.
I bathed munckin everyday but didnt wash her bum after every number 2 she did. It depended highly on how bad the number 2 was for it to warrant a run under the water.
And no, my bubba didnt encounter any sort of issue like a UTI or rash. I made sure she was sufficiently clean and always applied a rash cream.
My bhabhi on the other hand, always washed her bubbas bottoms.
To each their own.
Re: do mothers always know best?
My cousins wife does not wash her baby after during a dirty nappy change she only wipes as she is scared of thanda ( in 43 degrees lol) my khala is very worried as the baby is only 5 weeks and had a UTI.
When my khala who raised 6 kids asked her DIL to wash her baby after a change she got really defensive.
Do mothers always know best? IF we feel we should advise a mother what is the best way to approach it?
I don't say tht mothers know te best but they understand their child the best.....
In todays time mostly mothers don't like interference.... N yes this can't b the only reason for UTI
Re: do mothers always know best?
I got many advises from elders, my inlaws and my own mother. I followed some and ignored other.
Whats wrong with hearing an advise !!! You (I dont mean OP) dont have to get defensive everytime anyone says anything, just because you are a mother and have the best interest of your kid. If you dont agree with the advise, politely give your reason or explain why you think what you are doing is best.
If the advisor continues, thats a different matter.
As for how to approach or give an advise, why not just say ' Do you think it would be a good idea to try doing this' or some other polite way of suggesting instead of declaring what the mother is doing is wrong.
Re: do mothers always know best?
Aside from the whole philosophy of maternal instincts, all mothers learn by experience and using the good old trial and error methods. There are some suggestions that are obviously a big no no but there's no harm in applying tried and tested methods and tips that clearly has the potential to work and pose no harm to the baby. I don't see any harm in washing the baby after poo poo if the more experienced mother feels that it would cure the baby's UTI, after all you cannot totally overlook the healing powers of fresh clean water. I would assume that the comfort and well being of the baby would come above personal ego (it may not be an ego issue at all in this case but just saying).
Re: do mothers always know best?
^ yes....you would think that the welfare of your child would come before your personal ego but for some ladies that is not the case.....
Re: do mothers always know best?
If it is an ego issue, it's possible that she will follow the advice when not observed and reminded about it. Like she can do it if she realizes it's right, as long as no one is going to be like, "See, I told you so!"
Re: do mothers always know best?
A first time mom? Nopes...not at all.
A second time mom... A bit more...
U really need 4 kids before a woman can say a mother knows best :D
But in the OP 's case.... It seems more like a case of.. Burriya.. Beech mein taang na araa. My kid, i decide what to do.
Re: do mothers always know best?
I remember how frustrated everyone around me made me feel during the time of first baby.....luck that I had a friendly midwife and parenting books.
Re: do mothers always know best?
everything is not so black and white when it comes to raising kids..
my baby pooped after every feed for 2 months and he was born in November (in the cold cold cold winter of north east) did I wash him for every diaper change? no
I used to have a bowl of warm water, dip the wipes in there, and then clean his bottom.. It was safe and sanitary! I dont like when people start telling you what to do and how to do it but I love getting suggestions and appreciate the advice if given sincerely and appropriately.
It is my first kid and yes I am learning from my experience but if you are going to make me feel inferior about the way I do things, stay away from me please :D
Re: do mothers always know best?
My MIL/mother tell me all the time how I should raise my kid. I have no problem with that. They are saying it from their own experience. I may choose to listen to them and do my own thing or follow their instructions, that's totally upto to me. Nothing to get upset about.
Now this whole wiping baby with wipes... Inspiron aren't you a medical student? You know wipes are perfectly safe for cleaning. You should always wipe front to back. UTI doesn't always come from not wiping properly... there are so many other reasons. Now, like Jolie said, you can't ignore the cleaning power for water... yes that's true.. but millions of mom around the world use wipes.
What your khala is saying is purely from her own experience and what our culture think is the right way to clean. Our religon also suggest that we wash each time. But please, tell her that there are so many moms using wipes... if every now and then the dil chooses to use wipe, there is nothing wrong with that.
Re: do mothers always know best?
I wasn't shocked about the non washing/wiping uti thing I was more shocked about the non washing due to thanda in 42 degree blistering heat the poor baby is sweating most of the time :/
Also I have learnt that for female babies probe to UTI's it is recommended to wash over just wiping.
Re: do mothers always know best?
Now this whole wiping baby with wipes... Inspiron aren't you a medical student? You know wipes are perfectly safe for cleaning. You should always wipe front to back. UTI doesn't always come from not wiping properly... there are so many other reasons. Now, like Jolie said, you can't ignore the cleaning power for water... yes that's true.. but millions of mom around the world use wipes.
What your khala is saying is purely from her own experience and what our culture think is the right way to clean. Our religon also suggest that we wash each time. But please, tell her that there are so many moms using wipes... if every now and then the dil chooses to use wipe, there is nothing wrong with that.
I don't think its about water vs wipes issue, the baby has UTI and must be suffering from quite a bit of discomfort in the blistering heat of Pakistan, the MIL is only making a suggestion that could very well help ease the problem. I thought it'd be pretty normal for mothers to try new tricks and tips when the baby is obviously going through some sort of dicomfort.
Re: do mothers always know best?
May be she has already tried using water.
Re: do mothers always know best?
Doesn't seem like it from OP's account.
Re: do mothers always know best?
this is the first time that I've ever heard of a UTI in such a young child......is this common?
Re: do mothers always know best?
washing vs. wiping and UTI - i dont think makes much of a difference. desis think washing is cleaning. they wash everything from poultry meat to baby butts. when actually all this does is spread germs all over the splash zone.