Re: do mothers always know best?
My cousins wife does not wash her baby after during a dirty nappy change she only wipes as she is scared of thanda (in 43 degrees lol) **my khala **is very worried as the baby is only 5 weeks and had a UTI.
When my khala who raised 6 kids asked her DIL to wash her baby after a change she got really defensive.
Do mothers always know best? IF we feel we should advise a mother what is the best way to approach it?
who is spreading the stories...MIL??
Re: do mothers always know best?
no its what i have seen with my own eyes
Re: do mothers always know best?
and she gave you that reason?
Re: do mothers always know best?
yes my cousins wife said to my khala iher mother in law that she will not wash her baby as she is afraid of thanda right infront of me.
She wipes her baby with simple wipes not cotton and water
I dont have kids im not even married I don't know what is right or not but if the doctors have advised her to wash her baby and if her MIL is then I dont see why she is making a face, ok if we were in the UK or if it was december in khi then I would understand.
I dont know about wipes and washing and uti's that much and spiral I am a medical student not a paed I am still learning myself. But i do know her baby will not get thanda when it is sweltering outside.
I also told her not to wrap her sweating baby up so tight because she is obviously too hot but she just makes a face and walks away.
Re: do mothers always know best?
No, moms DON'T always know the best and it is very natural to get defensive. Some people get defensive when it comes to taking advice on their babies care while some get defensive at other things. It's human nature.
Personally, I like to give advice only if someone is seeking it. And if I connect with what someone else is saying/doing, I implement it as well if I need to.
Re: do mothers always know best?
she is probably going through a postpartum depression .... better to leave her alone for a while....
and let her learn to handle her baby on her own.....
Re: do mothers always know best?
Well I have seen Post Partum depression and it doesn't seem like it and if she has post partum depression she needs help and support to get better and not to be left alone.
Yeah she has a case of the baby blues (which is different from post partum depression) maybe but so do many women, but the fact that she turns the fan down to low and wraps her baby up so tight scares me.
The fact that she is scared of washing her baby because she is afraid of thanda also scares me a little.
I have no right to say anything to her but my MIL feels afraid to say anything to her now too due to the faces she makes when given advice.
I thought maybe I am wrong and she ( my cousins wife) knows better hence why I asked on here.
Re: do mothers always know best?
yes my cousins wife said to my khala iher mother in law that she will not wash her baby as she is afraid of thanda right infront of me.
She wipes her baby with simple wipes not cotton and water
I dont have kids im not even married I don't know what is right or not but if the doctors have advised her to wash her baby and if her MIL is then I dont see why she is making a face, ok if we were in the UK or if it was december in khi then I would understand.
I dont know about wipes and washing and uti's that much and spiral I am a medical student not a paed I am still learning myself. But i do know her baby will not get thanda when it is sweltering outside.
I also told her not to wrap her sweating baby up so tight because she is obviously too hot but she just makes a face and walks away.
I am not criticizing you or anything but all I meant was that as a medical student you must have seen hundred of doctors and caregivers using wipes in hospitals and elsewhere. Do you think they would do something that's not safe? I remember when my son went to ER for tummy problem... there was a jew doctor that said that the best way to clean baby and we do it too... is to wash them each time you change diaper and here in the US they don't do that. You can't argue on that. He was absolutely right about that but thing is wipes are just about that good if you use them right and clean properly. And ultimately its upto the mother what she wants to do and whatever excuse she gives. I agree with washing the baby each time... do I do it?? NO..
Re: do mothers always know best?
My midwife told me not to use wipes on baby until the baby is 6 weeks old...she told me to clean the nappy area only with cotton wool and cooled down boiled water and if see any rash put Vaseline on.
Re: do mothers always know best?
im not saying wipes are unhygenic.
I am saying - she does not wash her baby because is afraid of thanda in realllly hot sweaty conditions which doesn't make sense and she makes weird faces when her MIL asked her to wash her baby in a nice way it wasn't even in a mean way.
she also wraps her baby up really tightly and turns the fan to low and her baby sweats like anything and I want to ask what is the best way to approach her as a new mother because her husband is also a doctor and he does not want to say anything to her so its upto MIL and my kjala keeps asking me to speak to her.
Re: do mothers always know best?
I might just open a Child Health/Paed book and see whats in there about washing etc and temps for babies and just give her the book to look at then its upto her and her to decide whatever she wants.
Re: do mothers always know best?
so how does a postpartum depression looks like??
..
...look i have been a mother twice I know initially** I** hated too people giving me adcvices on EVERY single thing I do with my baby.... i used to feel like screaming 'for god sake, its my baby and let ME handle him, i wont kill him' ...... and there are girls who probably will consult how many time they have to breath after becoming a first time mother.... we are all different...
if she is making faces, then obiviously she doesnt like everyones intervention.....she needs a time with her baby, not everyones eyes wandering around her every single move...
... its a big change in your life.... she will adjust
Re: do mothers always know best?
is it really 43C inside the room where the baby is? won't the baby be bawling if it were truly too warm for it?
Re: do mothers always know best?
im not saying wipes are unhygenic.
I am saying - she does not wash her baby because is afraid of thanda in realllly hot sweaty conditions which doesn't make sense and she makes weird faces when her MIL asked her to wash her baby in a nice way it wasn't even in a mean way.
she also wraps her baby up really tightly and turns the fan to low and her baby sweats like anything and I want to ask what is the best way to approach her as a new mother because her husband is also a doctor and he does not want to say anything to her so its upto MIL and my kjala keeps asking me to speak to her.
I don't see any justification of her what seems like a passive agressive behaviour, but won't be surprised to see if people still justify her embarrissing attitude that serves no good to anyone.
I mean is it really worth hurting your relationship with your MIL? Yes its the little making of face here and there over harmless silly little issues that actually generate these saas-bahu resentment and conflicts.
Re: do mothers always know best?
is it really 43C inside the room where the baby is? won't the baby be bawling if it were truly too warm for it?
yes queer my room temp atm is 35 and her room in the afternoon was 41 today.
Re: do mothers always know best?
so how does a postpartum depression looks like?? .. ...look i have been a mother twice I know initially** I** hated too people giving me adcvices on EVERY single thing I do with my baby.... i used to feel like screaming 'for god sake, its my baby and let ME handle him, i wont kill him' ...... and there are girls who probably will consult how many time they have to breath after becoming a first time mother.... we are all different...
if she is making faces, then obiviously she doesnt like everyones intervention.....she needs a time with her baby, not everyones eyes wandering around her every single move... ... its a big change in your life.... she will adjust
Its not everyone its ONLY her MIL and it was only about the washing thing nothing else,there is no one else in the house apart from MIL FIL her husband and herself, me and my mother are guests here and my mother doesn't say anything to her and I only said are you sure your baby is not too hot and she made a face and walked away from me so I am not saying anything again.
Re: do mothers always know best?
Does the baby have fever..??..Because if it is a diagnosed UTI,she might be having fever and if that is the case she should not be tightly wrapped up in layers and that would be a bigger problem as compared to using wipes or water.
Just curious,how did they know it is UTI...??
Re: do mothers always know best?
chips, aren't you from karachi too? can you please go check on inspi's cousinbaby for us?
Re: do mothers always know best?
well chips I am not sure 2 days she was diagnosed with a UTI at Agha Khan and the doctor advised washing during changes nappies and some I am not sure what medicine but I assume whatever they give in khi similar to calpol/paracetamol - thats what my cousins wife said that it was bachon ka panadol.
And this is what I said to her was that her baby is wrapped too tightly and look terribly sweaty and being too hot is more dangerous than thanda and too cold and she gave me a horrible go away look
so what is the best way to approach her?
Re: do mothers always know best?
Chips are you in khi? without an AC and with low fan its very hot isnt it? esp last night.