Re: Do men feel threatened if their wives make more?
Re: Do men feel threatened if their wives make more?
shakes head
You’re either aggressive or you’re not. If you’re not…you is a pansy…
Re: Do men feel threatened if their wives make more?
1 - yes you did and please stop trying to cover up
2 - ab balance naam ki bhi koi cheez hoti hai? ye balance pehle kahan tha? so you think you have it all nailed down…apparently working woman were too aggressive before and now all of a sudden she calls for balance.
Re: Do men feel threatened if their wives make more?
oh look, i think it’s time for my post again: http://www.paklinks.com/gs/life-and-relationships/553601-expecting-romantic-love-from-an-arranged-marriage-6.html#post8856795
Re: Do men feel threatened if their wives make more?
I don't think even men prefer to go for women who earns more than them (of course men can also be gold diggers), to me the real problem would be what happens if somewhere along the line women starts earning more than her partner? How would that change dynamics of the relationship?
it doesnt change the dynamics.
It just means, you can save a little more for the month or have extra money for enjoying life.
For a short period, that happened with us, and it made NO difference whatsoever.
Re: Do men feel threatened if their wives make more?
Some men would feel threatened no matter what. Either shout, "i earn more than you, twice" or get to hear, "i spend a lot of money on you". Your call.
Re: Do men feel threatened if their wives make more?
Honestly, how many women do you know that work, and are desi, in respectable fields that by the way this thread is going, would be considered "power careers" do you know that neglect their home?
I'm doing pretty ok with my job, not to tout horns, but I come home and do my own cooking and cleaning, and no I still haven't hired that maid although I really should so I can focus on a couple of other projects at work. But I do all my cooking and cleaning. Bathroom cleaned fully once a week, toilet cleaned multiple days, I cook dinner for most of my dinners, rarely go out (did for a while with friends, but that got expensive, although good for the lonliness). I do use the dishwasher now instead of my hands, cuz I finally have a dishwasher - never had one through my training and education, so I always did dishes by hand.
So, not clear...how do we not balance a career and a home?
ummmmm... you don't have a husband yet who is earning less than you do, so your example doesn't count. :P
Please read again post#102 (to which you replied). It doesn't say,
- All women in "power careers" neglect their home
- All desi women in "power careers" neglect their home
- Desis are great at appreciating women with "power careers".
It only says that problems arise when they do neglect their home and this situation is not limited to desi households but almost all societies have this issue. There are also some psychological issues with some men when their wives earn more than them but again those are not expression of desi mentality but is a general phenomenon tested and documented by social scientists around the world.
P.S. Appending a 'personals' to every thread has not been a successful strategy, has it? :P
Re: Do men feel threatened if their wives make more?
Don't know about other men yo..but i do not mind if my wife earned more. Ya see..at the end of the day..it's me who is gona take care of bills and all that stuff. She can do whatever she wants with her income.
Re: Do men feel threatened if their wives make more?
Don't know about other men yo..but i do not mind if my wife earned more. Ya see..at the end of the day..it's me who is gona take care of bills and all that stuff. She can do whatever she wants with her income.
not always the case... there was a thread on his about a week or so ago..
just because women earn, doesnt mean they dont contribute the mortage(s) and other financial harships/commitments.
Re: Do men feel threatened if their wives make more?
Cover up? lol ritttee! none of my posts here r edited so u or anyone at all can go bk n chk what i said n how ur translating it into something else. Anyways, i dnt think there is any point in arguing with you because you lack the basic manners of having a healthy argument.
Re: Do men feel threatened if their wives make more?
^ that last line was completely uncalled for. Grow up.
Re: Do men feel threatened if their wives make more?
if that isnt rude, I dunno what is !
Anyway to answer your question Reha
I can give an example right in my family. My mum’s been a working woman all her life and not just random jobs but MA a highly qualified telecom engineer. There have been times when mum was earning more than my dad since she was in a private multinational company while dad worked in a Govt owned hospitals and due to his ailing health couldn’t keep up with private practice. She’s known as the most patient, loving and friendly person amongst all our family and by our family I mean her in laws MA MA. And my dad has supported her all through thick and thin and there isnt a question of my income or your income. It’s all joint. Our income. That’s the way it has always been in our home Alhamdullilah and MashaAllah.
But it can make men insecure if their wives earn more than them esp in Pakistan. So that too is not uncommon.
Re: Do men feel threatened if their wives make more?
Cover up? lol ritttee! none of my posts here r edited so u or anyone at all can go bk n chk what i said n how ur translating it into something else. Anyways, i dnt think there is any point in arguing with you because you lack the basic manners of having a healthy argument. .
Zareen, honey, you have the right to your opinions. But, when expressing them...just take a moment to consider the exceptions. It's just a suggestion. There are women who work for various reasons...some out of a majboori...and some because they want to. You have such women on GS as well. Not all of them have the royal queen attitude or are inept at managing their families/homes/marriages and who would want to be called a royal queen? How many women...working or not...would take kindly to that? Surely, throughout your life you've come across female doctors, teachers, etc. I hope you don't think in this way about them...cuz you can't so easily make assumptions about their home lives.
For example, in the thread about romance in arranged marriages....your views were questioned. JUST YOUR VIEWS, Zareen. A clarification about your views was being sought. What was the need to bring in stereotypes of western-born and raised Desis? Is baat ka topic se kya taaluq? There is none. That wasn't necessary. I didn't agree with your views either...and guess what...I wasn't born in the west, I grew up in the middle east. Just look at your above post. Read Reha's post that you've quoted....yes, she's being a bit sarcastic....but she's **ONLY **arguing about things like balance and basically the topic at hand. And you brought eyebrows into it. What do eyebrows have to do with the argument? It's like you're using it as an insult or a taana. Why? Because she's in the business of beauty and runs a successful salon to support her family? I'm sure you go to a salon...pay for the services...so deep down is there a condescending attitude that you harbor toward women that work period?
Again, I am not attacking you. I feel pretty calm right now. I'm just trying to make sense of your arguments here.
Re: Do men feel threatened if their wives make more?
^ that last line was completely uncalled for. Grow up.
uncalled for? really! if she cnt stop misconstructing my posts, i dnt know whatelse to suggest to her
if that isnt rude, I dunno what is !
rude? yes it is but its a reaction to the attacks she has made at me but i dont know why none of those appear rude to you guys. oh well, i m not here to stand for some "popularity" contest so by all means go ahead and form your groups, i m nt here for that game.
Re: Do men feel threatened if their wives make more?
uncalled for? really! if she cnt stop misconstructing my posts, i dnt know whatelse to suggest to her
rude? yes it is but its a reaction to the attacks she has made at me but i dont know why none of those appear rude to you guys. oh well, i m not here to stand for some "popularity" contest so by all means go ahead and form your groups, i m nt here for that game.
Again, yes Reha was sarcastic with her post but the content addresses balance and other issues relevant to the thread topic. Your brought up the eyebrows a second time...which AGAIN (the way I see it..and the way others may perceive it as well)....is like an indirect or could even be seen as possibly a direct attack on her job/profession.....it's like looking down on a woman's having a job....or can be interpreted as such. You are entitled to your opinions...but word them in a way that leaves little room for people to misinterpret you or take detours. I've heard the saying that I'm only responsible for what I say and not for how you interpret it......but I don't think it's so simple/black and white as that, Zareen. I think we all have the responsibility of trying word things in a way that's more clear. A clear statement usually does not allow so much room for people to get riled up. When you're arguing a matter.......even if you tinge it with sarcasm......just stick to the topic.....don't go off on tangents like eyebrows and where a person was born or raised....that only makes for a defensive argument and not a logical one.
Re: Do men feel threatened if their wives make more?
Zareen, honey, you have the right to your opinions. But, when expressing them...just take a moment to consider the exceptions. It's just a suggestion. There are women who work for various reasons...some out of a majboori...and some because they want to. You have such women on GS as well. Not all of them have the royal queen attitude or are inept at managing their families/homes/marriages and who would want to be called a royal queen? How many women...working or not...would take kindly to that? Surely, throughout your life you've come across female doctors, teachers, etc. I hope you don't think in this way about them...cuz you can't so easily make assumptions about their home lives.
For example, in the thread about romance in arranged marriages....your views were questioned. JUST YOUR VIEWS, Zareen. A clarification about your views was being sought. What was the need to bring in stereotypes of western-born and raised Desis? Is baat ka topic se kya taaluq? There is none. That wasn't necessary. I didn't agree with your views either...and guess what...I wasn't born in the west, I grew up in the middle east. Just look at your above post. Read Reha's post that you've quoted....yes, she's being a bit sarcastic....but she's **ONLY **arguing about things like balance and basically the topic at hand. And you brought eyebrows into it. What do eyebrows have to do with the argument? It's like you're using it as an insult or a taana. Why? Because she's in the business of beauty and runs a successful salon to support her family? I'm sure you go to a salon...pay for the services...so deep down is there a condescending attitude that you harbor toward women that work period?
Again, I am not attacking you. I feel pretty calm right now. I'm just trying to make sense of your arguments here.
@RV. Yes i was being silly with the "go thread some eyebrows..." comment however i didnt mean it the way you guys are taking it. I meant to tell her to keep her hands away from posting, hence nt being able to pass those sarcastic comments at me, by keeping them working. I didn't mean to taunt her for what she does, why should i? she is running a beauty business not a whore house that i can put her down for it.
I will say it again that yes i do think women's 1st priority should be to look after her home and family unless the circumstances suggest otherwise. But that is my opinion on the topic in hand, it doesnt mean i look down upon women who work. I wouldnt even judge them for it because i don't know their circumstances! Heck, even i have worked and kinda still do so how on the earth can i put them down? I was just expressing my views based on what i have seen of most married couples where the women is also working and the issues that arise in such cases.
Re: Do men feel threatened if their wives make more?
@RV. Yes i was being silly with the "go thread some eyebrows..." comment however i didnt mean it the way you guys are taking it. I meant to tell her to keep her hands away from posting, hence nt being able to pass those sarcastic comments at me, by keeping them working. I didn't mean to taunt her for what she does, why should i? she is running a beauty business not a whore house that i can put her down for it.
I will say it again that yes i do think women's 1st priority should be to look after her home and family unless the circumstances suggest otherwise. But that is my opinion on the topic in hand, it doesnt mean i look down upon women who work. I wouldnt even judge them for it because i don't know their circumstances! Heck, even i have worked and kinda still do so how on the earth can i put them down? I was just expressing my views based on what i have seen of most married couples where the women is also working and the issues that arise in such cases.
^Okay you see the words that I've highlighted above? That was worded very well/maturely......it was simple....and it expressed your views without any snide-ness or any joking that could be misinterpreted. Keep it like that.
See how you started off the post clarifying for the readers that you were "only being silly"? See this could have been avoided if you had left eyebrows totally out of your post. It only goes to show that we do have a responsibility to word things carefully..and that responsibility is not just left to the listener/reader. We try to do that in our personal lives as well. And yes, I too, have been careless...many a time...with the way I've said things. It creates an awkwardness/tension that can be avoided.
Re: Do men feel threatened if their wives make more?
See how you started off the post clarifying for the readers that you were "only being silly"? See this could have been avoided if you had left eyebrows totally out of your post. It only goes to show that we do have a responsibility to word things carefully..and that responsibility is not just left to the listener/reader. We try to do that in our personal lives as well. And yes, I too, have been careless...many a time...with the way I've said things. It creates an awkwardness/tension that can be avoided.
ur rite, i'll be careful nxt time :) thnx!
Re: Do men feel threatened if their wives make more?
@RV. Yes i was being silly with the "go thread some eyebrows..." comment however i didnt mean it the way you guys are taking it. I meant to tell her to keep her hands away from posting, hence nt being able to pass those sarcastic comments at me, by keeping them working. I didn't mean to taunt her for what she does, why should i? she is running a beauty business not a whore house that i can put her down for it.
I will say it again that yes i do think women's 1st priority should be to look after her home and family unless the circumstances suggest otherwise. But that is my opinion on the topic in hand, it doesnt mean i look down upon women who work. I wouldnt even judge them for it because i don't know their circumstances! Heck, even i have worked and kinda still do so how on the earth can i put them down? I was just expressing my views based on what i have seen of most married couples where the women is also working and the issues that arise in such cases.
As a really wise man, i know, says.. its not what you mean but what you say.
So if you meant for her to stop writing or whatever, then say it as it is. Dont go around insulting people. Period
SEcondly, how do you know that women who work dont have their priorities straight? Is their home being neglected? Mostly, not. Are her kids being negleced? Mostly not. Are we depriving our SO's of anything? Mostly, not. Do we not provide cooked home meals? Mostly, not.
Then where do you get this fluff from about women neglecting their home?
Zareen...did you think I wasn't expecting cheap shots like that from you? I was and since I don't actually thread eyebrows or find anything demeaning about that kind of work...I don't take offense. It is however indicative of a certain type of personality.
Your opinions don't offend anyone... if anything you should be aware that your posts are again indicative of how much ground our society still has to cover.
Enjoy your bubble :)