Is it better to take a back seat for women who are a little bit on the…ambitious…side? For the sake of their marriage?
Any ladies ever been through something like this? Or men for that matter?
p.s. - Im asking phor a phriend 
Re: Do men feel threatened if their wives make more?
In a nutshell ... There are two kinds
First category doesn't like their women making more then them - so they dont marry the ladies , who have more earning potential then them - case closed.
And the second category - wants to live on their women money - so they don't mind them making more - again case closed.
issue yea hai - when in middle of your relationship life , you found that you aren't progressing well in your career but your wife is , and sooner she gona start making more money then you .. or has started making more - then you have to place yourself in one of the above mentioned categories - once place'd .. Bloody case is closed :D
Re: Do men feel threatened if their wives make more?
I would love if my wife will earn more than me. Then i will be all demanding and will fight her when she won't shower me with random gifts and wouldn't pay for my silly silly interests. A perfect way to take revenge....
Re: Do men feel threatened if their wives make more?
Re: Do men feel threatened if their wives make more?
I've always been curious about this, I talked to some non desi guy friends and they said they wouldn't feel intimidated but would feel like they have been robbed from their 'provider' role. They liked the fact that the woman would be dependent on them, which I completely understand, I find it a bit unsettling, but I understand where they're coming from.
Obviously this isn't representative of every man, but I'd like to see the desi man's stance on this.
Re: Do men feel threatened if their wives make more?
as long as the wife doesn't start feeling like a king it should be OK
Re: Do men feel threatened if their wives make more?
Is it better to take a back seat for women who are a little bit on the...ambitious...side? For the sake of their marriage?
Any ladies ever been through something like this? Or men for that matter?
No, I don't think women should take a back seat just because some men they meet can't handle their success. They should find a man who's just as successful/ambitious as they are.
Most married/engaged women I know who have a really high income chose a life partner who's also at their level when it comes to income and education. Several told me that for them, marrying someone who wasn't as educated as they are or who income wasn't comparable to theirs was never even an option for them.....simply b/c they wanted to avoid any potential "ego" issues in the future.
I do know one couple closely....who's actually getting married this month. She makes about 3x more than him and will always make more than him. But from what I see....she doesn't act rich and her lifestyle doesn't truly reflect what she earns (ie. she lives below her means). They're both super laid back and rarely seems to disagree (they've been dating for almost 2 years). So I think her attitude towards money combined with his lack of ego probably helps them out a lot.
Re: Do men feel threatened if their wives make more?
She can buy samosa chaat for me then 
Re: Do men feel threatened if their wives make more?
lol @ "They should find a man who's just as successful/ambitious as they are. "
add this one too on the list of things to look at, and who says gurls dont make things difficult for themselves
@Paheli00 you argument/suggestion does not make any sense because its based on this one required while there are a whole host of things ppl look at, universally speaking.
Re: Do men feel threatened if their wives make more?
@Paheli00 you argument/suggestion does not make any sense because its based on this one required while there are a whole host of things ppl look at, universally speaking.
I'm sorry but was there anything on my post that stated that education/income is the ONLY thing that these girls look at?
Re: Do men feel threatened if their wives make more?
^ you know what, i change my mind:
you started off by saying "They should find a man who's just as successful/ambitious as they are." based on few example you mentioned later. But at the end of your post you confused me by mentioning the contrary example and gave some reason to that as well.
Point is, your beginning and end are contradicting, so nevermind.
Re: Do men feel threatened if their wives make more?
Since I didn't make this clear in my previous post....let me try this again in order to avoid anymore confusion.
I'm not saying that for a woman who's highly educated and has a high-paying career......when it comes to choosing a life partner, income/education should be the ONLY criteria.
What I am saying is that for a woman like that......this should be one of the "deal breakers". Yes, multiple factors are considered when choosing a life partner. But everyone has a list of expectations that're a "must" when picking someone. Whether its race (ie. wanting to marry a desi only and not considering Muslims from other races, age (ie. not choosing someone above a certain age), looks (ie. plenty of people reject rishtas due to things like skin color, height etc.), location (plenty of people reject someone b/t they're a FOB or ABCD or whatever) etc..........EVERYONE has criterias that they consider an absolute necessary when choosing a life partner.
If a woman spent years...heck close to a decade pursuing higher education, and is currently earning an income that reflects her years of dedication and hard work......I'm not quite sure why it's shocking that she should consider the education/income of her partner when choosing him too. I think it's perfect acceptable for her to insist on (and willing to wait for) a partner who pursued higher education and brings in an income similar to her. But this doesn't mean that this is the ONLY thing she should consider.
Re: Do men feel threatened if their wives make more?
is this all you are gonna ask for?
disappointed
Re: Do men feel threatened if their wives make more?
I don't think even men prefer to go for women who earns more than them (of course men can also be gold diggers), to me the real problem would be what happens if somewhere along the line women starts earning more than her partner? How would that change dynamics of the relationship?
Re: Do men feel threatened if their wives make more?
I know a handful of women at work who are the main bread winners, while their husbands have taken a stay at home role- cooking, taking the kids to soccer practice. Their decision was based on practicality - the wife was in a position to make much more than the husband. All seem to be happy and well settled.
My colleague’s husband packs lunch for her - he even puts in a piece of cake or chocolate everyday because she loves sweets. I find it sooooo cute!
None of these families are desi though 
Re: Do men feel threatened if their wives make more?
I wish one day she can earn more than me and then I’ll ask for dine outs (on her expense), cloths and ask her to “send me to Pakistan to meet my parents” every year 
Re: Do men feel threatened if their wives make more?
^ you know what, i change my mind:
you started off by saying "They should find a man who's just as successful/ambitious as they are." based on few example you mentioned later. But at the end of your post you confused me by mentioning the contrary example and gave some reason to that as well.
Point is, your beginning and end are contradicting, so I will not argue.
My apologies for the confusion.
Every couple is differnet. Not all high earning women are the same (just like not all men are the same). My 1st point in the original post was that women in this particular category SHOULD find a man equal to her in education/income/ambition. If they're coming across men who can't handle their success, they should not lower their own ambition just to pamper his ego. I may not have worded this well but my point that women should not take a "back seat" when it comes to their own ambitions just b/c the men they're coming across can't handle it.
But this doesn't mean that every single man on this earth is incapable of handing a successful woman. It might not be common....but they do exist. That's why I gave the example of the 1 couple I know.
Re: Do men feel threatened if their wives make more?
Ideally it shouldn't matter. But it can also depend upon the attitude of the wife. Is it getting to her head, is she looking down on him, etc? Apart from the ego issue......it's also possible that the increased work load that can come with a higher salary leaves little time for a couple to spend with one another, their kids, and for managing household responsibilities, thus putting a strain on the marriage. So, the problem may not be always be as simple as the husband's bruised ego.....it can be be more complex than that and aggravated by other issues.
Re: Do men feel threatened if their wives make more?
to me the real problem would be what happens if somewhere along the line women starts earning more than her partner? How would that change dynamics of the relationship?
Good question!
Again, I don't think there's a "one size fits all" answer to this scenario. I believe the change in dynamics would depends on how finances are handled in the relationship and how big of an ego the people (both of them) have.
For example: If the couples worked as equal partners when it came to their finances even when the man earned more....if both respected each other equally and made financial decisions together (ie. the wife was made to feel that she has equal say despite him earning more)......then I'd imagine that this "dynamic" would continue (ie. they remain equal) even if the roles were reversed (ie. she starts making more). But if it was a marriage where he made decisions on his own without discussing it with her, if he truly did not see her as his equal b/c he earned more, and if she was made to feel "less" in the marriage....I think these types of situations are where the big problems arise with the change in roles.
Re: Do men feel threatened if their wives make more?
is this all you are gonna ask for?
disappointed
Success!