Do men feel threatened if their wives make more?

[Reha]

Re: Do men feel threatened if their wives make more?

@khattichic

Here’s what I don’t understand by all those who think it is unnatural for a women to earn more than her husband…wasn’t Bibi Khadija a wealthy, established business women when the Propehet Muhammad s.a.w.s married her? She had her own thriving business was a very succesful entreprenuer and yet, still cared for the Prophet (pbuh), was extremely generous with the poor and assisted her relatives financially. Has anyone ever heard or read anything about Bibi Khadija being prideful or anything but just and tender? Why was she called “Ameerat Quraysh/Princess of Quraysh” and “al-Tahira/The Pure One” Wasn’t she the one who would go to Cave of Hira to make sure Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) had adequate food, drink etc? Whatever financial and material wealth she brought to their marriage she bestowed upon him as THEIRS…isn’t that the example we should all strive to follow? How then, pray tell, does that make it wrong or unnatural for a women to excel in her career and out earn her husband?

Why do desis, and especially here on GS, do people forget that Islam was on the forefront of securing womens’ rights, both financially and religiously? It would do all of us alot of good if we would learn to seperate culture from religion and actually try to emulate what Islam teaches us instead of what we think is right by making sweeping generalizations and looking down on others.

There are a ton of people - not all - who will never be able to separate culture and religion.

@Ghost14

^ It’s not unnatural, but if both are in the rat race, and she’s considerably out earning him, then chances are there will be problems. In cases where the woman is considerably more wealthy, the guy has to have some other qualities and interests such as art, academia, athletics etc. It comes down to what propagates the species: men want attractive women because they can give birth and, while women want attractive men, they also want someone that stands out and has some social standing. In our society, it comes down to money and wealth.

You can read some studies or scientific journals if you don’t believe me, but it’s clearly documented that when a women out earns her husband, there is a much higher chance of divorce. This can be because of his insecurity, or because she actually feels let down and frustrated by him.

As for the case above: she had money, but the Prophet was…well, the Prophet.

My recommendation: try to aim for your social standing and tax bracket

I am sure there are cases of such marriages out there. But in a marriage like that…its not just the out earning that is the issue then is it? Because if that was the ONLY concern, a divorce would never cross the couples’ minds. I don’t know any man who would leave his wife because she was making more money if he truly cares for her. People don’t get divorced for ONE sole reason…its a mountain of things and one of those things could be what you stated.

If I started aiming a certain tax bracket when thinking of marriage…I wouldn’t really consider it a proud moment for me. The thing is…as idealistic as it may sound…its true that money comes and goes. He could lose his job which is becoming all too common nowadays…where would that leave us? If I married someone for money and they lost that money…what would I love him for?