Re: Do men feel threatened if their wives make more?
Zareen, my intention is not to argue with you. I agree that it’s the husband’s duty to provide for his family and that he’s the head of the household…as outlined by Islam. I agree that managing even an odd job…let alone a career…will make it challenging to also juggle the responsibilities of a marriage/family. I’ve seen examples of working wives/mothers who, with the support of their husbands, are making it work…and those that are failing miserably…and heck I’ve even come across housewives who have left me wondering, “Gee, woman…what do you all day? You’re so clueless about your own kid…whom I teach, LOL.” And then circumstances may require that a wife work to help support her family. It could be argued that it’s solely the husband’s responsibility and that he can pick up several jobs…but that too can come at a price. For example, kids don’t see much of their dad…and I’ve seen how that can hurts kids. So maybe a couple decides that the wife will work …perhaps part-time…so that there will be extra income…but the kids get to see more of their parents…and both spouses have more time for each other as well. Things are not always so black and white…and that’s what makes it hard to determine a person’s intentions.
Sure, there ARE women out there with that overly competitive attitude and it can be problematic. I do agree, to an extent, that overstepping the gender boundaries/roles can mess up relationships. There is wisdom in that. But I don’t think that every working woman works to compete with men. When I read your point # 2…I thought to myself that even with my masters degree I make considerably less than most desi guys…so competition kaisa? There is none. Then again, being a teacher, there aren’t many guys in my profession, lol. I don’t have a negative attitude toward housewives…my mom is one…and I’d be lucky if I can even manage half of what she does. And personally, for me…my marriage/family would take precedence. But it’s not necessary that a woman is working to compete with the opposite gender/her husband. She could be doing it because there’s a genuine interest/passion…and for the good of society, etc. The source of contention here is that you’re lumping every one in the same category and not taking into account the exceptions. Again, I’m not attacking you.
I am strictly against not only the mother but also the father not giving enough time and attention to their kids. I strongly believe that one should rather live n small means but not without love and togetherness that a family should share. And yes infact if the husband is not being able to earn enough to run the house then the wife should step up and help him out. Otherwise i believe nothing at all should take precedence over her taking care of the kids/family.
And i agree with everything else you said and just to clear again i was not lumping, atleast didnt mean to lump everyone in the same category. I just feel most working women tend to have this aggressive streak in them which is not healthy.