More often than not I see women talking about how they hate being dependent on their husbands; when they marry they are still in school or still in the process of looking for work.
I know financial independence is something everyone (man or woman) should be equipped wtih, however… when they say they feel bad, I just wonder…do the husbands really feel this way? do they truly feel like their wives are burdens, or resent them for not working and not contributing financially?
By the way, the women i am thinking of do not have children but are married.
^ I think if you're not working and not raising children, then you need to be a productive member of society in some other way. You may be volunteering. You may be self-employed, keeping the house and cooking amazing, or have an extensive hobby, whatever it is. But I think if that's not the case, I could understand why a husband might feel a bit resentful, no matter how much he loves his wife.
No way man. I love my wife to be at home. In fact, she works harder at home than what she would do at a job and if I do contribute financially then I am just doing my job, I am not doing any favors. Come to think of it, she might be doing me a favor by keeping my house a happy place for me all the times to come back to.
* niki sweeti, see I said such good things about you. Can I move my pillow back from the couch into our bedroom now *
Personally, I would highly appreciate if my wife didn't work and instead contributed in home-making. I consider that to be a far greater contribution to the family and society rather than working 9-6 and compromising on other things. I am NOT judging working women and there are a few who do their best to manage both work and home, but I personally know that its really, really hard.
I would be thankful to my wife for not fighting over her right to work. I would be grateful rather than consider her a burden.
Just to clarify, its not like she would be a prisoner. She can go out, shop, meet her friends and all, its just that I don't like the idea of women working. But thats a personal choice.
This is an interesting discussion for desi families. I think Sara's thread is about the woman having her financial freedom.
Women are 'expected' to stay at home and take care of their home. Many are not allowed to go out and work. This means they are unable to earn a living and hence have to constantly beg their husbands for money to do this and do that. Working men certainly do not like to find themselves in such a situation and its only fair that women not be subjected to such as well.
A commonly used solution is where all the money earned goes to a central pool and to spend any from it requires unanimous approval of both husband and wife. This often leads the husband to be bitter because sometimes he may not get the permission to spend the money he earned the way he wants.
An allowance type system could work well perhaps? Both husband and wife give themselves an agreed allowance from that pool and then not be held accountable on how they spend it?
This is an interesting discussion for desi families. I think Sara's thread is about the woman having her financial freedom.
I ask because ideally, a husband is responsible for taking care of the wife.
Also because I'm kind of surprised at hte new threads and posts about how asking for a working wife is tantamount to greed?
Then again it all boils down to choice, if one feels like they don't have a choice in their life, then its natural to be resentful. I know a few women who are obligated to work because their husbands refuse to give them much.
No way man. I love my wife to be at home. In fact, she works harder at home than what she would do at a job and if I do contribute financially then I am just doing my job, I am not doing any favors. Come to think of it, she might be doing me a favor by keeping my house a happy place for me all the times to come back to.
*
niki sweeti, see I said such good things about you. Can I move my pillow back from the couch into our bedroom now *
Niki asked me to tell you that you can move the pillow back from the couch today.
but after moving the pillow, you need to go back to the couch and stay there.
If a woman can take care of home and work as well by the help of her husband…wats the reason that some men dont want their wife to work… is that they dont want to help her out with household n kids or there are other reasons??? just curious
Niki asked me to tell you that you can move the pillow back from the couch today.
but after moving the pillow, you need to go back to the couch and stay there.
haan she knows that my favroirte show is on TV tonight so I need to be on my couch
Sara, you have it half right....I mean the husband traditionally is supposed to "take care of" the wife by providing the paycheck. The part you left out is that the wife, in turn, "takes care of" the husband by keeping a nice home. Ideally, each prefers this type of partnership and things work out nicely. Sometimes the wife "takes care of" things by earning a nice paycheck and helping to provide services like house cleaners to keep the home nice ... but thats something that the partners in the marriage need to decide upon. At the end of the day, it doesnt really matter whether wife works or not, it doesnt matter who does the chores when or how the chores are split. It only matters that each of the two are happy with the type of life they choose to lead, without one dictating to the other but working together to acheive what they want.
No I don't mind my wife not working. Even if she were working, ideally I would still not expect her to contribute anything financially. I consider it my responsibility to provide for the family's needs. Anything she might earn is hers and I have no right over it.
I ask because ideally, a husband is responsible for taking care of the wife.
Also because I'm kind of surprised at hte new threads and posts about how asking for a working wife is tantamount to greed?
Then again it all boils down to choice, if one feels like they don't have a choice in their life, then its natural to be resentful. I know a few women who are obligated to work because their husbands refuse to give them much.
Asking for a working wife is not tantamount to greed. Asking specifically for a doctor, lawyer, engineer, etc because they make a lot of money IS tantamount to greed.
Education is a great thing and everyone should strive for it, earn it and use it. However, just like men dont like being rejected or judged solely on their earning power, neither do women.
^ And what if a gal wants an engr. , doctor or lawyer for herself coz she has specialized in same field and wants her hubby to be from same profession??
All Im saying is, men complain all the time about being put through the ringamarole when it comes to getting married. They have to have a job, making X amount of money, have a certain degree, etc. Its not fair for either party to look at their mate as a meal ticket.
If not meal ticket then should look at each other as what ?????
Do you think the GENUINE ppl are still in majority? Do you think every nice gal gets a nice husband and vice versa?
The REAL world is different. All what we are talking about is all that looks good on internet or good to publish in books. They are not and cannot be seen in real life. The ppl who find their soul mates are lucky and unluckily not everyone can be lucky. Lucky means one in thousands.
getting that alot recently !!