hi, i have a question for all divorced women (if there are any).
How hard is (was) to get re-married? (esp if you are woman)
Is it easier to re-marry here or back home?
did you lower expectations the second time? (if u havn’t been married again, would you lower your expectations) for ex, if you are doctor and went for a doctor the first, would you still only consider doctor? Pretty much i am asking is whatever expectations you had the first time: education, social status, looks, personality etc. would you still have (had) the same expectations the second time or is it wise to lower them.
Plz share your opinions/experience you went thr or someone you personally know. Oh even you are not divorced, i would like to hear ur opinion, if you have any.
I know someone who is divorced and recently i heard that person is thinking about re-marrying.
my aunty and uncle got divorced years ago, he remarried without any problems....she didnt, was alot harder. and luckily for her she was a brit cit, he wasnt, she was educated, she just put all her energy into her career.
shes ok with not being married, well thats what she says.
and her sister, my other aunt, married a divorcee, without any issues too....my aunt was quite happy, didnt really bother her that he was a divorcee..
its harder, alot harder for women, however, you need to very very strong, to live in this society without letting it get to you. not just society, but the dissapointment in your parents eyes, hurts alot more...thats why alot of women stay in miserble/bad marriage MOSTLY because of dnt want to hurt my parents....
i think it helps if your an educated woman brought up in the west. with a strong peprsonality, knowing your rights, and not being so dependant.
Also, i think with age, if a girl hits her late twenties and thirties, and still isnt married, she will accept a man maybe more so, whose a divorcee,,,however i douby many men accept wives who are divorceess..
My cousin sis got divorced and re married within a year.
As far a I am concerned I Don’t expect more than a sincere loving amazing character and a pious husband for the first time around and there won’t be a second time around.
hi, i have a question for all divorced women (if there are any).
How hard is (was) to get re-married? (esp if you are woman)
Is it easier to re-marry here or back home?
did you lower expectations the second time? (if u havn't been married again, would you lower your expectations) for ex, if you are doctor and went for a doctor the first, would you still only consider doctor? Pretty much i am asking is whatever expectations you had the first time: education, social status, looks, personality etc. would you still have (had) the same expectations the second time or is it wise to lower them.
Plz share your opinions/experience you went thr or someone you personally know. Oh even you are not divorced, i would like to hear ur opinion, if you have any.
I know someone who is divorced and recently i heard that person is thinking about re-marrying.
u have to lower the expectations the second time coz of the society's pressure..they would be like"aik tou pehle hee talaak ho chukki hai, upper se nakhray nahi khatam ho ray"...or stupid things like that...
and then what happens is that girl or girl's parents are in the hurry to have her marriage again and in that hurry they would choose whatever rishta accepts their daughter who is just OKAY even...
but yeah one of my cousin got divorced with a child and re-married after 10 years with a person who was richer and more educated than the ex, accepted her child,was well-settled in America but it was that man's third marriage...anyways they both are very happy together now MashAllah but what i want to tell is that for 10 years that girl had to face the society's harsh talks...
but yeah one of my cousin got divorced with a child and re-married after 10 years with a person who was richer and more educated than the ex, accepted her child,was well-settled in America but it was that man's third marriage...anyways they both are very happy together now MashAllah but what i want to tell is that for 10 years that girl had to face the society's harsh talks...
may i ask how come she didn't go one sooner? Cuz it's hard to spent life alone for 10 years. Why with a man who has been divorced twice? Cuz personally i would think about 10000 times b4 i go for one mainly b/c if he couldn't keep his marriage together twice, chance he might not care third time.
It's all luck. One of my friends ex-wife got remarried within 6 months of her divorce to a never married before guy (pakistani). I dont think its hard to get remarried after a divorce, but its definitly harder to get married once you have kids. If I get divorced, I would probably aim for a non-desi guy this time because they don't discriminate so much against divorced women..
3 had children: 2 got married 7-8 years after the divorce. One is till single 8 years on.
2 didn't have children and got married pretty soon, probably 1-2 years after.
3 had children: 2 got married 7-8 years after the divorce. One is till single 8 years on.
2 didn't have children and got married pretty soon, probably 1-2 years after.
was it aboard or back home? where do u think is easier in general speaking:
home or aboard?
You shouldn't give up hope and keep trying. Just becauswe you're divorced doesn't mean you'll never meet anyone. Even in a country like pakistan, I have seen it happen. Most likey you will never be able to find a man through arranged rishta though because no desi mother would wana marry her son to a divorced woman if her son has never been married before but love marriages can happen easily. I have heard of so many cases like that. Just try to be confident, maintain yourself, and stop living in the past. All you need is positive attitude
marriage , re-marriage and re-re-marriage all happens by kismat / naseeb.
If remarriage is meant to happen after 6 months it will happen , if it is meant to happen after 10 years it will happen , if it is never meant to happen it will never happen.
You don't need to lower your expectations , mila ga to wohi jo apkay naseeb main hai and it can be better than the previous one only if Allah wants it.
marriage , re-marriage and re-re-marriage all happens by kismat / naseeb.
If remarriage is meant to happen after 6 months it will happen , if it is meant to happen after 10 years it will happen , if it is never meant to happen it will never happen.
You don't need to lower your expectations , mila ga to wohi jo apkay naseeb main hai and it can be better than the previous one only if Allah wants it.
It's hard for me to believe that.. It's up to you. You telling me if i got married then i cheat on my wife, she leaves me. It was all predetermined?
I believe that sometimes Allah put you through alot of pain & azmaish before He gives you the ultimate reward. Reward may not be in this life , may be in after life. I also believe that when one is in pain Allah uskay gunah maaf farmata hai so I think it's better to pay for your gunahs here then in next life.
Wife running away with someone .............. Allah kabhi apko kuch dey kar azmata hai kabhi kuch wapas ley kar. When Allah gives you spouse then you should fulfil huqooq of your spouse. I believe this is a test from Allah too that He checks you how well you behave with your spouse. If you cheat your spouse then Allah will take account of it because I believe woh sab sey bara insaaf karnay wala hai. If the wife cheats and the husband still shows sabar , divorce happens and he does not take the revenge on his own and leaves everything on Allah then I believe Allah will reward him.
I Believe that rewards comes in all forms , sometimes its a good spouse , sometimes the sukoon and happiness that one feels in his/her life when the life is not even perfect , health , ability to fear Allah and worship him etc etc
but these are just my believes because this is how I look at things. Because I believe that mera Allah kabhi na insaafi nahi karta He takes into account each and everything but He has his own ways which our little human brain can not understand.
I have some divorced friends. No one is remarried except one girl who is half spanish-half pakistani and is super hot and so I think her looks have something to do with it.
I know of a few divorced women actually. And QUITE a few are married Mashallah. One of them married a man that was never-married. One married another divorcee and now have a daughter. One married another divorcee and now have 2 daughters. Plenty more…
When I think about remarriage…I think of all the things I didnt think about the first time. Like getting to know him really well versus trusting the aunti who says “larka bohot acha hai, bas aap ankh band karke kardein”. I dont think about money as I realized early in life that paisa aani jaani cheez hai and Alhumdulillah Allah swt has given me the capability to make my own. So, his financial status never meant much to me even before I got married. What does matter to me much more now is his mentality, how he thinks, his goals, his treatment of others, his manners, his morals, etc. I need to like his head so I can like his face. Make sense?
Am I much more compromising? Ummm…I dont think so. I think Ive actually learned exactly what my priorities should be and just reorganized them. Ive learned to control my ego. Ive also learned that marriage is not about finding the perfect person…rather the person whose imperfections are perfect for you.
Have I lowered my standards because Im divorced? No. In fact, finding an educated man is simpler than finding a morally upstanding one.
When the topic comes up (it does quite a bit now) I do think Im leaning more towards someone who has been through a similar ordeal as myself. Meaning, Im not sure if it would work with someone who isnt divorced. Would they be able to understand?
there won’t be a second time around.