Does it happen that women will marry, then turn around and tell their husbands that they’re not in love and want a divorce?
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OH PCG, you are so cynical. Absolutely girls pull this kind of nonsense.
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Ok, one thing I don't like is when a gentleman puts entire blame of broken marriage on the lady.
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i'd dig a little deeper and look into it. how do you know he isn't lying? is his ex still in the same town/state?
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I've seen it happen.
Cousin of a friend (back in Pakistan) got married with all the pomp and ceremony. On the wedding night, she says if you touch me, my boyfriend will kill you and your family. Give me a divorce.
The guy was stressed and his family couldn't figure why he as a newlywed was so unhappy. He records the threats by the wife, plays it for her family and his and then he divorces her. So yeah, the world is made up of all sorts.
That being said, you're entitled to find out more. Ask him whether his ex married her boyfriend, is she still single - do a bit of your own research.
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^ that's messed up!
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Poof
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poof
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PCG, in all seriousness this one sounds like he's worth the effort to get to know him. That being said, you also have to put your best foot forward. Don't taint this possibility with your prior bad experiences - be open and happy. Do not be pessimistic and negative. No one wants to be around a negative Nelly.
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Either investigate it further...or move on if you can't overlook his past. As to how sincere he is, none of us can determine that. You'll have to interact with him and look for consistency or lack thereof and dig deeper...provided you're still interested in considering him.
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He makes me happy, so yeah, I'm going to keep talking to him. He and I talk now every day, which is a good sign. :) I don't know how willing he is to move around for my career, but at this point, who cares. If I find the right guy, that's a really big deal, and I'm taking that over a nice career move. Nice career moves can always happen later.
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1) What he has told you about his ex-wife....yes, girls do stuff like this and MUCH worse.
2) Getting into a major institution for what? Studying? I know doctors and lawyers who managed to get into med/law school with a criminal record. It really boils down the very specific charges and many other details. Not a very black/white situation.
Questions:
1) How long ago was his divorce finalized?
2) IF this goes on, I imagine eventually your parents will meet his. Would your parents ask his parents about his previous marriage/reason for divorce? I ask b/c this is another situation where you would be able to check if what he tells you matches up with what his parents say BEFORE signing nikah papers.
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he could be lying. it could have been a zillion things. but unless you talk to him more you won't know. seriously, run him by your friends, then family. social situations. easiest way to evaluate the guy.
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He said he tried to make it work, that they both did, and that she initiated the divorce and went back and re-married. He said when she asked for a divorce at that point he didn't stop her, just threw his hands up and said ok, whatever you want. He said he heard she remarried, but didn't bother to go find out who or how.
I asked if he knew who the guy was or if he knew whether she was talking to him DURING his marriage, and he said he didn't pry for details, he didn't want to know anyway.
Why would he try to find out who he lost his wife to PCG?
I think when people go through a certain amount of BS...they put a stop to it themselves by walking away. You can only handle so much, right?
Girls do this stuff...they really really do. Are we angels or something? No, we're not. We mess up, we say things, we hurt people, etc. Its not just the men.
He sounds nice PCG...I'd give it a real go.
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- I like that he hasn't really trash talked her.
- I like how he didn't go after her like a desperate needy puppy - he respectfully said ok, when she said she didn't like him. that takes balls. real balls.
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1) What he has told you about his ex-wife....yes, girls do stuff like this and MUCH worse.
2) Getting into a major institution for what? Studying? I know doctors and lawyers who managed to get into med/law school with a criminal record. It really boils down the very specific charges and many other details. Not a very black/white situation.
Questions:
1) How long ago was his divorce finalized?
2) IF this goes on, I imagine eventually your parents will meet his. Would your parents ask his parents about his previous marriage/reason for divorce? I ask b/c this is another situation where you would be able to check if what he tells you matches up with what his parents say BEFORE signing nikah papers.
-hasn't said much about his ex-wife.
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how did you meet him? where is he from?
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Girls do stuff like that. My cousin did it to her cousin. Her parents made her marry her cousin and she didnt want to. She couldnt stand up for herself, so after they got married she told him she wasnt ready for a physical relationship. After 4 months, she said she wanted a divorce because she didnt like him. So, yes, girls do things like this.
He seems like a nice, genuine guy. Give him a chance. The more you talk to him, the more you will get to know about him. If he is trying to hide anything, it may come out the more you talk. People cant keep up a farce forever.
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what? who gets into grad school with a criminal record???? Man, they made me pee into a cup!
LOL.....like I said, it depends on what specific charges. And passing a drug test test is totally different from being convicted of something illegal which could have been YEARS ago.
Anyway.....I think you're over analyzing this. If him being divorced doesn't bother you, don't worry so much about what went wrong in his 3 MONTH long marriage. Unless you see signs that he might be abusive/controlling etc.....give him a chance and get to know him better.
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Somehow I think if a guy brought this up, he'd be getting SO ROASTED right about now.