I am a new member so please be kind. The reason why i’m here is that i actually need some advice and hopefully there is someone out there that can help me.
Please do not judge
I was married in pakistan nearly 5 years ago, family obviously and yes it was arranged. He came over and was granted a visa for residancy. He did not want to work for a living, he enjoyed the lazy life he had in pakistan, so decided go leave me and go back to Pakistan, where he has now married again. My dilema is that he will not divorce me it is now been 2 and half years, we have never had any contact.
I have been told by a number of individuals that as i have not had any contact with him for such a long time that islamicly I am free from that marriage.
Unfortunately people i have spoken to at the local mosque have said, that this is not the case. If he is not divorcing me, he may still want to keep me as a wife- which does not make any sense as we have not spoken for 2 and half years, they say i will have to apply for a khu’la.
I would be very grateful if someone can point me in the right direction in relation to this matter.
It just seems that i am not getting anywhere.:biggthumb
I think instead of opening a thread and that too in cafe ( :halo: ) .. you should consider talking to some other imaams.. and i too think you should opt for khu’la .. getting it shouldn’t be too hard for you.
(the guy seems like a jerk.. not trying to be rude or anything.. any idea what he does for living in Pak?)
pak10 - sometimes its a must to have a divorce i hate lazy ass men
pak you have tried the normal and calm way now its time to teach him something with his own medicine. I think you should grab his own danda and beat the **** out of him.
i would hire few people- anyone is willing to do anything for money sadly but its human nature. I would make sure to hire few guys who would beat the shet out of him. - most likely break a bone or two. Man would have killed my emotions and feelings by then so i might as well take all the revenge at the same time.
Make sure he will never ever entre US territory ever again. If he has green card or whatever a thappa of taliban wont be a bad idea on him.
you should get your papers made here - get a divorce from US law etc - Get the papers prepared back in Pakistan as well. Again people will do anything for money.
stand right in front of him.. with molvi and say " mein tumhee apne poore hose hiwaas mein Talaak deti hon, mein tumhee apne poore hose hiwaas mein Talaak deti hon, mein tumhee apne poore hose hiwaas mein Talaak deti hon," - if he doese not sign the papers perhaps physical torture again is mandatory.
may be grab a nice warm knife or take a cigarette and start making marks all over him. that does not work then may be we need to take a different route.
i would hire “hijree” after that- his mardangi will come forward once he sees he is going to get rapped by them.
-he broke your house - i would let the other girl know who he is. how he hurted you and left you. its her right - its a woman to a woman thing
sorry for men like those i got no patience and yeah same goes for women.
pak - Get talak ASAP- to the best of my knowledge i think you are in US. Use that as your advantage- sadly but true.
i would love to hear what you did in the end… if you dont post please private message me…
be incharge- get more strength in you- he destroyed you and its time you show him who you are- you would have left him alone if he would have divorced you- NO ONE is allowed to be married 2nd time without first one’s consent. -
asey logo ko to gahde pe naga bitaa ke puuure sheehar ka chakar lagwana chahaey
remember - he will only get to you if you let him - be in contorl be in power.. and i know you can do it
nia, thanda paani piyein aap.. itna ghussa aap ki sehat ke liyay acha nahi hai.
pak10, there are a few things which you didn't share that will help us give better advice.
Was your nikkah done in Pakistan? In the nikkah, did the husband give you the power of divorce? Assuming he did not give you the power of divorce, then you can't divorce him. The route of khula'a is always there. More on it, later.
Alternatively if you guys got married in the US, then you can divorce him under US law. Also, under certain conditions, you can get the marriage annulled as well. In any case, get a lawyer who can file the proper court case for you.
Re: khula'a in Pakistan, you can hire a Pakistani lawyer to file the case for you. Search the internet for contact information. In case of khula'a you are required to return the wedding gifts back to him. Depending upon how much fuss he wants to create, this can get messy. Considering he already married again in Pakistan, I am not sure if he would want to prolong the issue. Ideally his second wife will convince him to divorce you fil-fore.
Under no circumstances, it is advisable to remarry without taking care of this issue in a proper legal manner. A muslim woman married to two people at the same time can be very complicated.
Thank you very much for your kind words. Its actually nice to speak to someone who is actually not going to judge you. Esp when its not your fault. Everyone is quick to judge and point a finger
your mail made me laugh. You are really funny:cb: , unless you were actually being serious.
Only kidding
you’re right i should let the other girl know.
I think i should go over and kill two birds with one stone. One let his new mrs know and another, rip his handle bar tash off his face and see how he likes that hahahaha. He was a proper pindo, not saying that there is anything wrong with being a pindos.
but he was a big one.
My advice will be to hire a good lawyer and let him/her deal with your husband. Since he has practically abandoned you for the last 2.5 years, so I am not sure if you want to go through the hassle of physical confrontation at this point on this issue. It will be a different scenario if you were living together and had a falling out. Then again, we don't know the whole story so you better decide for yourself as to what is more appropriate.
getting a lawyer in pak is not a good idea. unless ur willing to wait till ur 80 for any result.
u can by law marry in US. paki stuff dont apply here. if u want to make peace with islamic laws then consult a mullah of whatever little sect u belong to. gupshup has many crackheads from different sects who are more confused themselves. and for the love of god stop hating paindus. one could say u were a bigger idiot for marrying this lazy bum in the first place. blaming ur parents for something where u had a right islamically and otherwise to say NO at anytime. o well.
they were the one who brought tht rishta…aren’t parent supposed to wish the best for their daughters??? sorry to be rude miss but parents marying off their daughters to complete loosers are not good parents at all:mad:
do you think that such looser parents would let her daughter wlak off the house and live on her own instead of having an arranged marriage …sometimes i think i know desi parents better than desi guys…
If you are in the US phone your nearest LARGE mosque.. the smaller onse may have not dealt with this issue before
If you are in the UK or anybody in a similar situation who resides in the UK please call Regents Park Mosque(google for the number) its something they deal with all the time
Pak10, if you have no luck with a mosque in America call the one in the UK...they will give you step by step advice.
- Get talak ASAP- to the best of my knowledge i think you are in US. Use that as your advantage- sadly but true.
…sometimes i think i know desi parents better than desi guys…