Divorce Grief

[Reha]

@Fingirl

I have finally filed for a Khulla…it’s going to be my second hearing tomorrow…my first one was extremely painful and wish I could do anything not to face him tomorrow.

I dont know how i am going to live through this…i feel i would never be able to come out of this. I find it so hard to believe that my marriage could come to an end tomorrow and i would become a divorcee in just under 24 hrs!

I feel so guilty and miserable…I wish i could be someone else, i wish had never married…it’s devastating to face him each time. My husband was smiling and denied everything in our first hearing and I can’t help but think of what he would say tomorrow!

I don’t know what to think or do… I went to the psychiatrist yesterday and had a full cry-out session with him. Have been mostly on sleeping and anxiety pills during the last 3 months…I get nightmares EVERY night…..every single night…every day I wake up in the middle of a nightmare. I feel I am being punished hard by Allah that even during my sleep I cant escape from this misery.

I cant seem to find the “sabr” to deal with all of this…As much as I am hurt, I feel miserable and cant help but think about my nikah day and our good moments together…I feel I am so abnormal…I cry every few minutes. I cry at work, I cry at home…I wish I could die before tomorrow; it would be so much easier than to face him. I don’t know how I would react to signing the divorce papers tomorrow.

The best revenge is massive success…

You be the best you can be and the rest will follow…Allah swt WILL deal with him. You just wait and see…leave it to him.

YOu are in my duas…