Distressed friend, need help.

[Sehrysh]

Re: Distressed friend, need help.

@R.A.W

Better to take guidance from a good scholar (in the light of Quran and Hadith) before telling it to parents. Even though she needs a shoulder to cry on and a lot of support, at this time of her life, but she would never want her parents to suffer from the most hurting mental & spiritual torture (never ending pain) till the last breath of their life. If ignorance is a bliss, they might have few years left in their life, let them live peacefully in ignorance. Otherwise their every night would be filled with tears of blood, their aching hurt would never find rest, probably not till their last breath. Their health might deteriorate, and this news might act as slow poisoning for the rest of their life. Please, for the love of Allah (swt), don’t take away from them the happiness that they are presently enjoying in life.

If she is strong enough to quietly handle it now on her own (through help of a guide/ideal), her agony would slowly inshaAllah end after few years, as she would gain strength with time and other people already don’t know about it. On the other hand the more shoulders she gets now to cry on, the more lasting would be her wound that would be refreshed (by one person or another) every time it start to heal. Besides that, do you think she would be able to look into their eyes (for the rest of her life) after this painful fact is disclosed to her relatives. If you carry your own burden now on your own (even though a bit painful) you would gain strength with time, otherwise time would only help you gaining more sympathizers who would only look at you with pity/sorrow every time you pass by them. I might be wrong, Allah knows Best!

Wow, just wow!

You’ve no concept of the sense of violation this poor girl is enduring, the sense of shame and guilt that society has heaped on her, merely for being a woman, who was a made a man’s victim through no fault of her own. And instead of encouraging her to seek help and comfort and solace from those who love her best (yes, I know Allah swt loves her best), but of those on this earthly plane, you want her to repress her experience so that her parents are spared. Sadly enough, if you ask most parents what they would prefer - that would do ANYTHING possible to share or alleviate their child’s hurt - yet you are preventing these parents that opportunity.

To the OP, yes I know some people and parents are closed-minded, but this girl knows her parents best - I would personally suggest she speak to them and tell them what happened. I pray this young girl has the strength to overcome this nightmare and know in her heart and mind that she is innocent and that she did nothing wrong.