I find it utterly disgusting when someone married into a wealthy family and starts pretending to be different. You forget what you were before you were married. I feel like slapping them stupid. Hello! who the hell are you kidding? I know what you were 3 years ago. Why are you pretending to be something you are not?
This relative ( from Pakistan) of mine who’s about 35- 36 years old got married 3 years ago. I understand why people over there would 2 change their age on their id cards and stuff because if you are 34 not many people would want to marry you. So she became young for the world. Her husband is quite a wealthy man and is in his early 50s. She won’t look after her own kid. I was at her place a few months ago and the maid ( 10 year old girl)was ordered to sit down and eat with them by the husband. The wife started throwing a tantrum, she went in a huff and ran inside. She wouldn’t come back out to eat with everyone. I just cannot understand why cannot people look after their kids? He’s your child, you chose to have him. So what if you have to keep him weith you while you eat? Did you mum have maids for you? NO! You did the cooking, you did the dishes. You come from a bug family with 6 other siblings. Why the hell do you compalin for?
The husband is against treating their servants differently so he told her " if you are going to do this to her. I’m sending her back home the next morning". The wife’s response: " If you send her back. I’m going to kick all the otehr servants out".
People in Europe bring up 4 kids on their own. Do they throw tantrums? NO! You are a mature 35 year old woman. It’s not as if you’re in your early 20s and you’re having difficulties with teh child. You brought me up man! There’s no excuse at all of not having any experience with kids and all.
I must say women in Pakistan have an easy life. Some of them are spoilt. No matter where you go, you should not forget where YOU came from. Fair enough if you came from a family where you did not do anything but throwing tantrums is just disgusting.
I think maids aren't a bad thing at all. But this individual relation of yours appears to have quite a complex. She thinks she was a maha-rani in her past life. :)
i just don't understand wats the prob here. If someone has a nanny for her kid so wat. its their choice coz they can afford it. just coz ur mom didn't raise u with help doesn't mean its wrong. in Middle east all well off arabs hav live in nannies. its a norm. So many well off families here in calgary have nannies too.
so i dont see anything wrong here. its not like u r giving up ur child for adoption. u r just having someone to keep them lil entertained n under supervision when u r busy or not around.
the other thing maid sitting on table n eating with family again if the wife doesn't like it the husband shouldn't insist. its ur employees not ur family. even though u should treat them nicely n with repect u should not make them a part of ur family meal. this is again normal. i dont think even in West live in nannies have a seat with family during the meals. i know a lady who said no the nanny cannot sleep in same room as my kid. n yes over here u cannot hav alive in nanny unless u giv her her own room.
Haan the way she over reacted is kinda childish. She should hav let it happen n then talk to her hubby later on. also the girl maid is too young herself to take care of a child.... but ur concern or anger is equally unreasonable in my eyes.
^uhhh, i read it differently - being that she didn't want the maid OR her kid at the table.
and it seems to be more than just:
"so i dont see anything wrong here. its not like u r giving up ur child for adoption. u r just having someone to keep them lil entertained n under supervision when u r busy or not around."
rather she thinks she too good to take care of any of her kid's needs. and the OP is annoyed that the girl herself comes from a background where she was 100% cared for by her mother.
well i have a point here as never thougt it before the people u keep for maids ,worker,cooks nannies etc these are poor people mostly of them are never fair with u .U do a lot with them but at time they will betary u so u have to keep them at level not let them just sit with u on ur dine tables.....or what ever.there are nice people out there but not in this era guys.:(
tu nanny ko nanny ki tarah he treat kerain gay ya family friend or relative ki tarah. i mean personally i wont feel comfortable having a nanny sitting beside me n my husband on the dinning table. it just feels awkward.n as a woman i would never want my husband feel really comfy with another lady esp a nanny(oh i know shes a little child in this case but just generally speaking dont treat ur maids as ur friends, it can be harmful)
n just as the lady said they have more than one servant so should they bring them all to their table?
n wat does it matter aap ki maan ne aap ko kaisay pala if now someone has better situation n can hire help i dont know but there's nothing to b upset abt.
^uhhh, i read it differently - being that she didn't want the maid OR her kid at the table.
and it seems to be more than just:
"so i dont see anything wrong here. its not like u r giving up ur child for adoption. u r just having someone to keep them lil entertained n under supervision when u r busy or not around."
rather she thinks she too good to take care of any of her kid's needs. and the OP is annoyed that the girl herself comes from a background where she was 100% cared for by her mother.
i dunno wat kind of mom this lady is but moms r moms afterall. no matter how much a caretaker is doing they do have their own roles in their kid's life so just by hiring a nanny u r not giving up ur whole responsibility. esp when this nanny herself is 10 yrs old. i dont think she was mad at her kid at the table but nanny with her kids at the table. if i see it correct. may be she wanted the nanny to feed the kid but not at the table with her n her hubby.
well, from what i've seen in pak i don't agree for the most part.
waay too many mother's leave too much responsibility of the children's care to the nanny's. not waking up, not washing, not changing, not feeding, not playing with.. literally nothing!
the kids end up rude, misbehaved and won't even get themselves a drink of water let alone anything else.
i have nothing against people keeping servants or nanny's but the way some people in pak go about it is just plain wrong imo.
i just don't understand wats the prob here. If someone has a nanny for her kid so wat. its their choice coz they can afford it. just coz ur mom didn't raise u with help doesn't mean its wrong. in Middle east all well off arabs hav live in nannies. its a norm. So many well off families here in calgary have nannies too.
so i dont see anything wrong here. its not like u r giving up ur child for adoption. u r just having someone to keep them lil entertained n under supervision when u r busy or not around.
the other thing maid sitting on table n eating with family again if the wife doesn't like it the husband shouldn't insist. its ur employees not ur family. even though u should treat them nicely n with repect u should not make them a part of ur family meal. this is again normal. i dont think even in West live in nannies have a seat with family during the meals. i know a lady who said no the nanny cannot sleep in same room as my kid. n yes over here u cannot hav alive in nanny unless u giv her her own room.
Haan the way she over reacted is kinda childish. She should hav let it happen n then talk to her hubby later on. also the girl maid is too young herself to take care of a child.... but ur concern or anger is equally unreasonable in my eyes.
i'm not bothered about having a maid. I was brought up by one too. The issue here is a 35 year old throwing tantrums infront of guests. Ignoring her child. This is what i'm bothered about. A 35 year old saying she's going to throw all the srvants out if the maid is sent back home.
^uhhh, i read it differently - being that she didn't want the maid OR her kid at the table.
and it seems to be more than just:
"so i dont see anything wrong here. its not like u r giving up ur child for adoption. u r just having someone to keep them lil entertained n under supervision when u r busy or not around."
rather she thinks she too good to take care of any of her kid's needs. and the OP is annoyed that the girl herself comes from a background where she was 100% cared for by her mother.
Its not having a nanny...its the way she wants to treat the nanny.
I don think people are getting my point. 2 things are bothering me
1) the fact she lies about her age. How can someone who's done her Umrah lie about taht to everyone? I am well aware about that but she still finds it convenient to lie about it to my face. From what I can remember anty was old enough to look after me when I was 8.
2) Pakistani ladies throwing tantrums pretending to be all different when they used to be the complete opp before marriage
Aarzoo u r burning ur blood over nothing. if she lies abt her age shes not only one. mostly all elderly ladies does.n if she did it to get married poor woman leave her alone.
yes tanturaum part i agree she should hav handled things better but may b husband k laad pyar ne bigaar dia ho :)
^ theres nothing wrong with having a nanny but that doesnt mean just coz u have one u can start acting uncivilized towards people and throwing tantrums like a 5 year old. I think arzoo is trying to highlight a point where money turns someone from humble to monster!
arzoo is saying lots of things here... mixed feelings.
shes herself throwing a tanturaum for a prob thats not even hers ;)
money does giv u some attitude n thats a fact. after getting money, power n position even the most humble ones change though they dont feel it themselves or admit but it does happen
however over here from wat i read i find everything normal even arguing with hubby infront of relatives( arzoo n her family is not guests here but close friends or relatives) bus yes she did over react a bit.
Mabrook: If people get an attitude once they attain wealth. Then why am I not like that? What's your explanation for that? A 21 year old gets everything she wants. Her father buys her a house so she can live alone. Why am I not like that?
I havecouins who are not as priviledged but not once have I said something stupid to them or even thrown a tantrum infront of people. I choose to talk to my parents alone.
I being the only daughter should throw tantrums not someone who is a mature woman. Do I? No