…is that a date?
Not that decent girls on gupshup go out on movies with na-mahrems but I just thought I should ask why are ppl (esp girls) so adamant about calling it a date. Whats a harmless movie between friends..absolutely nothing 
..why make it so complicated?
I agree Fayz :-)
I have a few male friends (yes technically they are na-mehrams :p ) I go out with to a movie and dinner :-)
They even let me pay sometimes :-D Last thing I would call it is a date :-/
I wouldn't consider going to see movies in groups a date but going in pairs is purely a date IMO!
Perhaps it takes on more meaning for the girl cause she rarely ever spends alone time with a guy. So in her mind, it would have more meaning eventhough to the guy it is meaningless.
Here's another question: Although it is extremely sweet, why do some guys always insist on paying? That would also make me think there was more to it cause if it were just "friends", then the girl should be able to pay. I know it's chivalrous and the gentlemenly thing to do, but still. Confusing Let the girl pay sometimes. :p
CA, What if the guy is a good friend?
One of my closest friends is someone I have known for 9 years now (yes he's male) and we go out for dinner etc every now and then. That is everything but a date to both of us :-)
ShiNoO,
I still consider it a date. I used Islam as a basis for my opinion. It says that when a man and a woman are alone then satan interferes and makes them to do wrong stuff.
I am not judging you guys in any way. I guess different people percieve things differently and it depends on their cultural and religious beliefs too. 
Mehnaz, you made a very good point. :k:
heheh…I’m curious to find out too. 
Guys tend to like to pay for everything and I kinda don’t like it. I think they do it to show off or maybe coz they think they’re expected to? 
cause they r expected. naturally guy is reposnsible for financial security in a house, so it is kindda natural.
^ I think you're right. Most desi guys would always like to pay for everything because in our society they are expected to pay for everything in the house. However, it's a little different in the west coz here usually men and women both are responsible for providing financial security in the house...
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by CurruptAngel: *
ShiNoO,
I still consider it a date.
[/QUOTE]
Could u define the word 'date' ? :-)
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by ShiNoO: *
Could u define the word 'date' ? :-)
[/QUOTE]
Yaar, forgive me but I don't know much about dating...I will quote what Mehnaz said as I agree with her:
Perhaps it takes on more meaning for the girl cause she rarely ever spends alone time with a guy. So in her mind, it would have more meaning eventhough to the guy it is meaningless.
Don't know if going to movies and dinner alone will be considered dating or not but there's more meaning to it than just friendship IMO.
Another thing that comes to my mind is, when you go out with someone alone people are more likely to percieve "you two" as a couple than just friends. :)
Very true CA (your last point).
hmmm…
in my five yrs of college in the us, actually in my whole life, i never went on a one on one social outing/meeting with any guy [brothers/dad/maamoons/chachas excluded ]…i dont know if it would be a ‘date’…but i do know i would feel hecka weird n feel like i’m doing something wrong or something and specially i’d feel like my reputation was at stake if i were to be seen alone with them…even if my niyat is saaf log baatein banayein ge and i dont want that…coz its about my and my family’s izzat…
there might not be technically nothing really wrong with it if your intention is saaf and many paki/muslim girls do it…but i just dint feel comfortable with it…i dono… 
a few times i’ve met guys one on one to work on projects or official work though…
and sometimes it did happen k if we were in the middle of a project we were hungry n the guy said k lets just go to jack in the box and grab some food, it used to be right next to campus, and i am pretty sure that their intentions were completely not k they were trying to be free or something…but i dono it just felt weird plus i had this thing in my mind always k what if someone sees me alone with him in jack in the box what r they gona think and how is that gona affect my reputation? so i always used to be like nah lets just order pizza…i dint even wana be seen eating alone with them in the oncampus cofee shop…
sometimes when we were done with the project and the guy was like hey lets go have coffee or something, i always used to make up some excuse…
i did feel kinda bad about it too coz i knew the guy wasn’t saying it with a bad intention and might even feel upset k why did i say no am i doubting his intention, but the whole thing about feeling weird n giving the wrong impression to the guy and most importantly being seen there sitting alone at the table with some guy at the coffee shop…what impression will it give of me…
i was told by many of my friends that i was toooooooooo extreme…i dono…i just did whatever i felt comfortable with…and alhamdulillah i think i did the right thing…
most muslim girls that were part of my friends circle never went on a one on one outing with guys either…one or two did sometimes, even girls whom i was good friends with…and i know that they dint have any bad intentions… the guys were just their friends…so i dont think a girl who does that has necessarily done something bad…i guess its just about personal comfort zone and limits and cultural/family background…
these kinda issues were always problematic though and we muslim gals always used to discuss this among ourselves k what should our ‘limits’ be and stuff…
**i have a question for guys though: **
suppose you’re working with a female on a project etc and you guys have a decent talking relationship, and you ask her for coffee or something later and she refuses with an excuse, would you think the girl is really stuck up and rude and is doubting your intentions? i mean would you get offended or would you understand that its just something that maybe she isnt comfy with and its nothing personal against u and she’s not doubting ur intention. do you guys get annoyed if the girl is being too conservative or sticks too much to her own values or limits and doesnt care abt ur feelings esp coz all u want is just a normal friendship with the gal coz u know each other at some level of informality coz u’ve been working together?
I wouldn’t agree. I for one do not insist on paying. Alright, I say once that I’ll pay, but if the other person (be it male or female) wants to pay, then I won’t start an ‘insistence’ fight. If s/he feels good when paying, I won’t bother again 
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by CurruptAngel: *
Don't know if going to movies and dinner alone will be considered dating or not but there's more meaning to it than just friendship IMO
[/QUOTE]
^I don't agree with that. I'm taking my friend as an example, someone I've known for a loooong time (he's also a family friend btw). There's nothing but friendship between us, as the matter of fact he's in love with a lovely girl who happens to be a friend of mine aswell.
Anyhow, I just think it's totally possible to go out with a male friend and not be on a 'date' :)
I do agree with your last statement though >> "when you go out with someone alone people are more likely to percieve "you two" as a couple than just friends."
But then again as long as your parents know who you're with and you know what the 'real' situation is then I just let ppl think.
:)
irem tum bolti bohat ho but I agree with most of the things you said…:k:
so I guess going out alone does not necessarily mean a date but you’re kinda allowing others to call you a couple…you’re taking a risk in a way I think…
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by ShiNoO: *
^I don't agree with that. I'm taking my friend as an example, someone I've known for a loooong time (he's also a family friend btw). There's nothing but friendship between us, as the matter of fact he's in love with a lovely girl who happens to be a friend of mine aswell.
Anyhow, I just think it's totally possible to go out with a male friend and not be on a 'date' :)
But then again as long as your parents know who you're with and you know what the 'real' situation is then I just let ppl think.
:)
[/QUOTE]
yeah, I think it is possible for some people...I wouldn't judge them but if I were to put myself in that situation then I don't think I'd want to risk my reputation in front of other people(relatives, friends, etc) no matter how good our friendship is. Plus I wouldn't feel comfortable at all but that's just me. :)
What if he/she is saying it just out of courtesy and they actually do want you to pay? I guess it’s too bad for them.
exactly 
so you’re warned in advance, if ever we meet