dillema

Lifestyle Relationships
1

whats more important? your independence or to be in love with someone who puts restrictions on u?

2

Re: dillema

are you trying to ask what is more important your independence or to be in love with someone?

the only problem being that someone puts restrictions on you...........?just trying to clarify

3

Re: dillema

In the above scenario.. My independance! Love should be unconditional and not a case of "I will only love you if you agree no to do X, Y, and Z"..

No thank you, give me my independance any day of the week!!

4

Re: dillema

What would you like to be ?
A free bird or a prisoner of love ?

5

Re: dillema

yes that u r in love with a guy who puts restrictions on U??? sooo being a sane person and in order to BREATHE what do u choose ....freedom or u carry on with that person and his restrictions

6

Re: dillema

Independence

7

Re: dillema

its good to be in love and listen to the person u love and make them happy & follow their rules but after some tym it becomes a burden

8

Re: dillema

initially in a relationship everything seems so wonderful even the restrictions but after some time............im talking about yrs it does become a drag............
All i wanna know is............is it jus me who thinks this way?? or there r ppl who agree with me

9

Re: dillema

Those that truly love you don't/wont impose restrictions on you to the point of asphyxiation.
haven't you heard ... love sets you free/love gives you wings.

10

Re: dillema

When it comes to choosing a life partner....there is a HUGE difference between that partner suggesting or having a preferance......versus having rules and restrictions.

I would never choose to spend my life with someone who thinks its ok to have "rules" and "restrictions" when it comes to their wife.

11

Re: dillema

thanku guys these answers r really helping

12

Re: dillema

Independence.. I don't believe someone who loved me would place restrictions on me, leading to me being unhappy..

13

Re: dillema

and when i say restrictions im talking about silly minor stuff like what to wear, gettn ure hair coloured ,etc (things that dun even matter)

14

Re: dillema

^Even worse imo..

15

Re: dillema

Sweetpea,

what kind of restrictions or what do you consider as being restrictions?

you aren't being very specific because reading what you wrote and taking it as a general statement of course all would say independence but this is somebody that says they love you and cares for you so that's why i'm asking you

oops just read what kind of restrictions, they are quite minor, i wouldn't call them restrictions, maybe your husband's just saying it b/c the hair color doesn't look good to him or the shirt you're wearing shows a bit too much and you might get unwanted looks that might make you uncomfortable

if you still feel like like you're being caged then talk to your hubby about it and give logical reasons why you don't like being told what to do

16

Re: dillema

hey im glad u got my point btw im not married............
BUT ive been in a relation where this has happened to me................and i felt miserable although i can live without colouring my hair and all that stuff but i always used to think that if this person is stopping me from such minor things before marriage wats gonna happen after marriage!!!! SO I GOT OUT OF IT!!!!!!!!!!!! but sumtyms i think did i do the right thing.??????....

17

Re: dillema

That's even worse! If my husband doesn't believe that I'm "adult-enough" to decide what clothes to wear or what color my hair is.....then why does he believe I'm capable of being a good mother to his children?

Parents tell their KIDS what to wear and whether or not they can get the hair colored....but a husband to TELL his wife those things (as opposed to just suggesting it)...is plain disrespectful in my humble opinion.

18

Re: dillema

WAY TO GO PAHELI:k:

19

Re: dillema

Firstly, if I were in your position, I would've done the same exact thing!

As for whether or not you did the right thing......here are my thoughts on that: Marriage is difficult enough to begin with. If you already had a problem with him trying to control those things BEFORE marriage....then obviously you did not feel "compatible" with him (no matter how much "love" there was). I'm a big believer in trusting your instincts. And if something just did not "feel right" to you about marrying this guy....then you need to trust your gut feelings and not take such a major risk with your life. :)

20

Re: dillema

Love.