I will be going to pakistan (lahore) end of march. Leaving US on 23rd and coming back first week of April…4 shopping n booking everything for my june wedding.
Now one of cousin waited til we booked our tickets to set his wedding dates. Never asked which dates will be good for us, asked my other aunt for the dates we will be in lahore. His barat will be going from lahore to multan (abt a 5 hour drive one way). The barat is on 26 of march (they rented a bus, and plan to leave early morning and since the barat is a day time event, plan to return the same day). The valima is on 27th .
I was getting really excited abt everything until last night, when they called to officially invite us. The mehndi is set for the 24th…two day before the barat. I am sooooo mad. I wont be able to attend the mehndi. The mehndi will be a really small event at their house. So i asked them to move it to the 25th…but they said NO.
I personally dont want to go to Multan…we will be jet lagged…tired…n might get sick from all of this traveling. I have not attended a cousins wedding in over 15 years…and missing out on the most fun part of the wedding and thats pissing me off.
So i have told my mom to change our tickets so miss the whole wedding. This way we wont look bad for not attending the wedding.
What do u guys think…am i being really emotional???
oh n i cant go any earlier…and i have work project due.
Hun you are doing fine. Its rude they invited you at the last minute plus you can't risk jetlag and such. You already have a lot on your mind such as your own wedding shopping. I personally would go because I love weddings and especially family ones but your going to be fine. They6'll get over it..
^ i wont get to see any thing in Multan...and keep in mind ... day before the barat...we wuld have just came from the US.
I do want to go...and think the wedding and the drive to multan will be fun. BUT i m afraid that my mom and i will get sick from being so tired. Secondly i m offended by them.
Oh and the invitation were actually send out few day ago. the date was set last weekend.
They are living their lives and they did what was best for them and suited to their own plans , programs and circumtances. You need to do what is best for you. If you will get sick then do not go . If you want to enjoy that wedding and do not mind getting sick in the process then go.
If you know going to Multan will hurt the purpose of your trip which is not this wedding, then dont go. Whats the point of going to Pak if you are sick the whole time you're there?
Yes, it was rude of them to invite you last minute.
Did they know in advance that you were planning to come to Pakistan? IMO, even if they did, it's their wedding and they do have a right to plan it according to what suits them best. They may have had some practical reason for choosing those dates, and it would be kind of unfair to expect them to change their plans just for one person. I cannot imagine them doing this thing on purpose, itni bad gumaani achi nahin hoti. It turns any relationship sour.
As for going to the wedding or not, if you feel fine and think that the trip to Multan won't make you sick you should go ahead and attend it by all means. But do not 'not attend' it just because you feel that they offended you, the slight may very well be imagined. Plus even if it were deliberate, you can be the bigger person and let it go.
A while back i spoke to this cousin and told him it will be hard for me to attend his wedding...since my trip will be really short. He said over and over again that he will make sure i attend his wedding...wuld leave me no choice.
They have been engaged for longer thn 1 year and knew the wedding will be in march...but didn't fix the date until they found out when we will be coming (leaving me no choice but to attend the wedding).
Yes its their wedding, and they dont have change anything...but i knw in our paki culture they try to include close family members when considering a date. I think none of this wuld be happening if my deceased father was alive (cousin getting married is my Phuphi's son)
But my question is should i attend or change my trip so i dont have to attend at all?
I am calm.
And it's Khumar. Not KH. I'm not a sound.
but i knw in our paki culture they try to include close family members when considering a date. I think none of this wuld be happening if my deceased father was alive (cousin getting married is my Phuphi's son)
no they don't anymore. what century are you living in? my father's still alive (alhamdulilah) and his brother didn't bother fixing a date for his first son's wedding that suited our family.
But my question is should i attend or change my trip so i dont have to attend at all?
You want to attend the wedding. Then attend the wedding. Why bother asking strangers? And don't say because it's Life forum that's what we do here. That's not an answer.
I don't see whats the big deal here.... if you will be too tired, don't attend the mehdni, just the barat and valima... you'll get to meet all your cousins and relatives altogether in a big gathering, it will be fun.
Chill karo, looks like you're taking too much stress (maybe cuz of your wedding too)... just go, attend whatever events you can and have fun :)
So let me get this straight. Your relations should plan their wedding around your edited travel plans? How edited selfish are you?
Would you tolerate some woman telling you when you should plan you wedding? I swear the more I read this thread, the more I think the general stereotype of ABCD women edited is true.
