^ Thank you. To sum it up, here is what you do:
1) Consider living together. Bond together in the beginning. Go out together, travel together, cook together......just spend time becoming friends WITHOUT judging her. Even the Prophet SAWS developed friendships with people of less iman than him without judging them. Islam was spread with gentleness, mercy, and TOLERANCE. Not through pressure, force, criticism, arrogance, and harshness. Think about it this way.....when we meet people that appeal to us..........we FIRST develop a FRIENDSHIP. And after establishing a FRIENDSHIPS......our friends are more likely to be influenced by us. So....first develop a friendship with her based on Islamic concepts such as compromise, mercy, flexibility, and tolerance NOT LECTURES.
2) Praise your wife when you see her doing good things. Praise your wife in front of others such as your familly and friends. When we praise our loved ones in front of others.....it feels really good and boosts our confidence. So don't just praise her in the privacy of your own home........but praise her in front of your parents.......in front of your friends sometimes as well. This can help her bond with you even more and it can help her bond with your family and friends.
3) Talk to your parents/siblings and explain to them that she has had a difficult childhood and that they should try to be friendly and engaging with her. This girl has a hard time trusting people. But when she sees that your parents and siblings are being friendly with her and welcoming her......she'll slowly feel more confident about them.
4) Here is something that I have noticed. Many couples become more religious with age and time. I've seen couples who have been married for years and with the passage of time, they become more aware of their religious duties, namaz, Quran, etc. There are some women who start doing hijab later in life. There are some men who grow a beard and start praying 5 times a day later in life. Their spouse does not ABANDON them just because they have not reached the perfect level of faith. Life is a learning process. Even the Prophet SAWS told his companions that they will have ups and downs in Iman because the heart is constantly changing......sometimes it is firm, sometimes it's not.
5) You both can work on projects (fundraisers, volunteer work, etc) that can benefit the unfortnate in the Muslim community. Such projects bring people closer together.......and this may be more effective than attending lectures. Actions speak louder than words.
6) Yes, I agree that Islam is a way of life. But keep in mind that the Prophet SAWS advised his followers that "do not make your religion hard for yourself, otherwise you won't be able to follow it"......and he advised them to** stay balanced*......stay in the middle ground.....and not become extremists. I have actually seen examples of people who become so picky about following every rule and law that eventually they get frurstated with following their own deen because they have made it too hard for themselves. Keep it simple: * Be a good kind human being and try your best to fulfill 5 pillars with sincerity, that's it.**
7) When having arguments with your wife.....try to look at her points as well. She might be right in her own way. For example, she is right that to a certain extent Pakistani culture does oppress women as I discussed in my first post to your thread. And give her credit for being right and then proceed to discuss your viewpoints calmly. If you both have to make a decision regarding a matter that you both have conflicts about.......then ask her if you both can compromise in a way that she gets some of what she wants and you get some of what you want. Meet each other halfway.
I think that everyone is telling you the same things (patience, tolerance, flexibility, living together with wife, encouragement, praise). You should have a sufficient idea now of what to do. So, now take these ideas and slowly put them into action. You have to start at somewhere at some point. Once again, best wishes.