Okay I dont often post in Life1 and it’s very rare if not unheard of for me to open threads here… however I have been inspired by some other threads and several real life incidents to post an interesting question to you all…
Okay for nearly all of us we are or have been young and fallen in love or at least felt some sort of love towards someone else…
Some of us are deeply in love or even married to someone special…
However and here is the nub of it, suppose (Allah forbid) that the person you love so dearly, be they a boyfriend/Girlfriend husband/wife whatever have an accident of some sort and they lose thier good looks (it can happen though I pray it dont happen to anyone here)
Would you still love them?
I am going to be a man and say that depending on the nature of such an incident and how badly it disfigured my wife, I would still keep her as my wife and love her lots, but it would certainly change things for us and we might go into a state of reclusiveness over it…
I dont think I would want relatives to see what happened and so would hide the woman i love from cruel peoples gazes and pretend it was still okay.
Some people will act differently though, I have known first hand what some men and women react like over such issues.
But as there is a thread about why some women date or ugly guys, I thought I would add some more spice to life1…
So folks what do you think?
Could you still love someone that was made shall we say ugly, but after you fell in love… would you still love them or move one?
I think if a person is simple, is honest and trust worthy, doesnt play games, is not manipulative and cunning, and is genuine and mature then Looks don't even matter. These traits make a person naturally attractive and charismatic.
I think if a person is simple, is honest and trust worthy, doesnt play games, is not manipulative and cunning, and is genuine and mature then Looks don't even matter. These traits make a person naturally attractive and charismatic.
I agree with you totally.
However that aside we all want some form of attraction in our partner and we appreciate thier looks, I mean my wife might not be a supermoddel but to me she is much better than any made up doll on TV. I would be driven mad if anything happened to her in the slightest, but I cant wrap her up in wool and all that...
If something changed in her and it was not just age related but something drastically different either by pure accident or by deliberate action by someone else then I might well feel as if something was lost... I dont think I would abandon her but I would be heartbroken... and perhaps the relationship would not have that magic anymore if you know what I mean, it would be the ultimate tragedy.
I know some examples of heart wrenching extremes... from people who were deeply in love spliting up at the slightest difference to a couple that fought the world and stayed together.
I think for a man, it'll be a great test of his patience and commitment, because men are hard-wired to get attracted to beauty. A moth fly is intrinsically attracted to light, a butterfly is attracted to nector, similarly ishq is attracted to husn.
if I were a man, I would do some tuning of my soul, and dedicate my heart to her, considering she still has other qualities that made me fall in love with her in the first place.
but i would be very overprotective of them if others that might not be used to seeing a disfigured face said anything hurtful towards them.
if they were sweet, respectful, caring,nonabusive people before and still are that way then seriously looks are only skin deep being around enough arrogant good looking guys definitely made me realize that.
besides after a while of being with a person isn't it more than just looks that gets you attracted to that person.
c'mmon guys speak you minds nobody is going to be judged.
I'll tell you some cases I knew some years ago...
A man rescued a Woman from a car crash, the fellow was a paramedic and life long fan of a particular woman, who was a local level celebrity for her singing talent... and extremley good looks stunning face and long legs etc...he had no idea the woman he just rescued was that same woman who he fantasized about so long, when they got her to hospital the guy found out and was struck dumb... he had not long before been infatuated with her and always said he would marry her one day but when the time came he could not even look at her anymore...
Another man fell in love with a woman who's fammily disaproved of such a relationship, eventually things got to the point where the guy asked them for her hand... they refused. Now had it ended there it would have been okay, but the fammily was mad and they wanted to teach the girl a lesson for her daring to look at a guy below her station, so first they had the guy beaten very badly... but when his relatives and he fought back they cut off the girls nose. This man still fought for her and he took the fammily to court and won, he married the girl in the end but he never lived the same and they both left the city becuase people would always trouble him for having married an ugly girl.
I had a very close friend who's wife left him becuase he came back from Kargil with half his face, literally his top lip to eyebrow had been skinned off on his right side, and the guy commited suicide becuase he could not believe his wife was so cruel...
And one Woman still tends to her man even though his face has been marred and he is blind and slightly dumb, her fammily wanted her to leave him but she did not and hats off to her courage.
People react differently but I was just wondering how you would react in a simmilar situation, some people just wont stand an ugly spouse or fall to the pressure of society while others cling on maybe becuase they have no other option but sometimes because they are compelled by thier heart.
faris it was an honest answer from me....would a disfigured face cause the person to change their personality where they become horrible from inside, i don't think that would be the case. it would just be very very hard to have to deal with the superficial world's reaction to that person. i think the love would grow even more b/c there would be a feeling of wanting to protect that person.
I once saw a man without a face (literally. It looked like somebody scooped out his face from his lower forehead to his chin. Very heartbreaking) on TV with his wife. It was unbelievable to me.
I'd stay.
Although yes, I concede that maybe after 5, 10, 15 years it's entirely possible that you have just had enough. It's easy to answer as an observer.
Yes but not everyone has access to or can pay for such treatment... besides such treatment is not always succesfull.
If they cannot afford it then they will be content with it. As for the second scenario I would not know how I would behave. That might be so traumatic that I would myself go into depression and commit suicide or I might love all the more our of my love for humanity at large . You never know the outcome of such a traumatic event beforehand.
I remember that dude. That was pretty shocking to say the least but amazing because his wife was still standing by him. I think in the end though, he had a new face screwed onto whatever he had left.
If I was with someone who met an unfortunate accident or what not and had their looks changed, I would stay. I say this because I’d never settle for someone based on their looks exclusively; she’d need to have certain other qualities to count as a potential long term partner. So she’d retain that part of her persona and that would be good enough for me to stand by her.
I’m sure its pretty retarded to choose a person based solely on their looks. Once that goes, what do you have left? Nothing :hinna:
I cannot say that it would change things that much from a woman's perspective because we're just built differently. I would want to be attracted to my spouse BUT...for me...Im more attracted to someone's personality than looks. If I fell in love with my husband and some tragedy altered his LOOKS but not his PERSONALITY/CHARACTER/MORALS/MANNERS...I dont think I would leave him.
There is always a chance that I am wrong because Ive not been that situation to really know what Im talking about.
However, I know how I work and based on that...leaving him because he is physically unattractive anymore probably would not be an option.
If anything happens or had happend (Allah forbids) to my Saudi Arab Jaani, I would cry all day long like this:
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But then again I believe that we are put into such situations by Allah swt The Almighty to be tested. Allah may test you in any way. Be it hunger or an incident. His personality matters a lot. Yes, one needs “WOW” when he/she looks at his/her spouse, but then again he/she needs to understand the situation their spouse has been to. I also feel that no other man or woman has the right to say “Oh God, dekho tumhara pati kessay hai bechara yay or wo.” Like seriously mind your own business because bura waqt can arrive anytime on anyone. I will do whatever it takes to support him. As I have read many other GS users commenting on others thread that “Times heals everything” correct me if am wrong. I hope you understand or understood what I am trying to say.
i remember in that amazing drama Alpha Bravo Charlie, the girl left her fiance because he came back from Kargil without legs and arms...and that amazing girl Shehnaz wanted to marry him!
This guy’s fiance got into an accident right before their wedding and ended up brain damaged…what hes doing for her is amazing! I mean you can see how her looks have changed but hes still there for her.
This is going to be interesting.
