I don’t know Khawa…I see where you’re coming from, but I still don’t think that excuses the lack of empathy that this DIL is supposedly showing.
I am not close to my MIL at all, and the formality is definitely double sided. From the very beginning, she made clear that I was not her choice for her son, but it’s cool, we manage to coexist peacefully. She’s in fair health, but has had knee replacement surgery in both legs. I did what I could to help out, including staying at the hospital with her, but the majority of her care(drs appts…therapy…and all her immigration filing/appts etc) fall upon my husband…his elder bro doesn’t do squat. I’ve never complained or go onto him about being robbed of his attention..because that’s his mother! And on the flip side, when my parents were dying of cancer at the same time, and I was back and forth between two continents caring for them, I most definitely neglected him and our 3 kids, because of the situation. Thank god he never complained or resented it.
I just feel like parental care is a non negotiable, even if a DIL/SIL isn’t hands on with the care, at least don’t resent your spouse for doing the right thing. :hinna: