DIL not wanting to live with MIL

[Sweetmoi]

Re: DIL not wanting to live with MIL

@pkgrl000

1. i am NOT the DIL here.

2. unfortunately, this is a true situation and its happening to someone very close to my heart.

3. so maybe you guys are right, maybe its not as simple as making chai and wearing shalwar kameez. However its nothing major like wanting her to quit job or not visit mom either. the DIL’s real issue is that MIL has all these appointments (obviously doctors) and the son is now busy always driving her to and from doctor’s, trying to make sure he spends a bit of time with mom each evening. This makes DIL mad because it is taking away their “couple” time together. The DIL believes that MIL should leave the elder son alone so he can spend time with his wife, and rely on the younger son for all the rides to doctors and other stuff such as visiting her friends. The younger son is perfectly capable of doing this, but being the baby of the family just never was expected to take much responsibility and so really, the mom/MIL doesn’t even realize he should be contributing to her care.

The other thing is, the MIL is undergoing treatments, and is responding extremely well in the sense that while she may only have a few months left, she is still walking, talking, healthy mashaAllah. Ofcourse this means she cooks and goes out shopping, goes to friends’ houses, cleans her own bathroom, everything. In this sense, she isn’t so obviously sick and dying how you see on TV that the MIL lies in bed all day, in pain. Its more of a hidden disease where the PET scan comes out positive, followed by chemo, radiation, etc etc. Ofcourse she is getting weaker, lost all her hair, but mashaAllah still great in spirit. So, the DIL doesn’t really feel sorry for her since she doesn’t have the family bond with her that just the thought of losing her in a couple months would depress or sadden her the way the son might feel depressed.

Hidden disease?! Are you freaking kidding me!? Just because someone is not mourning all day in their bed! You’ve got to be kidding.

And the last paragraph about the DILs emotion just shows what kind of person she is. .. I didnt know you had to have a family bond with someone to feel sorry for them in such harsh times. There was a guppan online here, I dont know her personally, only love to read her blogs, who recently lost her MIL and I have never met the MIL either, so I’ve no “family bond” yet I felt so incredible sorry for the entire family throughout the process and actually even cried several times.

And here you’re telling me, the MIL has lost all her hair, is undergoing treatment and the entire issue for the DIL is:

• “couple time”? ..
• “why husband is driving his mother around” ???
• “shalwar kamez”?
  -“chai”???