Re: Digging Up Graves
PCG, you will probably get a very one-sided view of the guy if you reach out to such an obviously biased person like his ex. Better idea would be to talk to friends (not his best friends obviously, but people who knew him and his ex, but aren’t too biased either way) or neighbors. If you must talk to his ex, have a family member or trusted friend reach out to her instead of talking to her yourself. Your (potentially) to-be husband isn’t going to like it if you had conversations with her on your own. If a relative or friend does it, it will seem less personal, and he will hopefully attribute it to the family’s concern for you, instead of your lack of trust in him. In any case, remember not to trust her account 100% and take everything with a grain of salt.
Btw, have you talked to the guy openly about his first marriage? Are you satisfied by his account of things? Did you sense any red flags? This is a situation where you should trust your instincts.