Re: Difference between being a mother in pakistan and abroad.
exactly lady lama!
Hello
ok im not having a baby or anything, not even married, this thread was inspired by another thread.
Women in pakistan can get maids/little girls to help them with the kids or housework for not very expensive prices.
I know living in UK there are mothers who work, juggle 3 kids, put a meal on the table every night and have a social life ( maybe not a huge one) but still.
I didnt want to say this in the other thread, but i know my mum bought up 2 kids, worked and looked after our home very well and family who come visit like everyt weekend.
It kind of...annoyed me....i dont want to be mean or anything.....but i dont know why i just felt the need to express myself.
Well Moms Abroad are very busy so they dont get time to beat up their kids :(,
On a serious note... not all families can afford maids even though they rnt too expensive but still some cant afford em.
Washing clothes and drying em is pretty simple aboard but in Pakistan it takes alot of time. So does every thing else, Homes r open.. house gets dirty pretty fast and guests visit u so much more than abroad.
On top of everything, guys abroad help there moms and wifes alot in kitchen and in We just eat and leave dishes there. Dont even feel like getting a glass of water for ourselve. So women in Pak r pretty busy too.
Alvena I know which thread inspired u to start this one. Never mind :) Allah has given different potentials to everyone. Some have good health, some not, some have more power than others, some r stronger than others, some r more intelligent than others n some unlike me have strength n good health. I know how weak I am n y I need a maid so badly. U don't know my situation. Anyway, I appreciate ur mom's part. Take care! :)
Well Moms Abroad are very busy so they dont get time to beat up their kids :(,
On a serious note... not all families can afford maids even though they rnt too expensive but still some cant afford em. Washing clothes and drying em is pretty simple aboard but in Pakistan it takes alot of time. So does every thing else, Homes r open.. house gets dirty pretty fast and guests visit u so much more than abroad. On top of everything, guys abroad help there moms and wifes alot in kitchen and in We just eat and leave dishes there. Dont even feel like getting a glass of water for ourselve. So women in Pak r pretty busy too.
Very true! I M proud of u. U being a guy, understand paki women n agree with the truths :)
Re: Difference between being a mother in pakistan and abroad.
Gullible, no i dont know your situation and i know you are having a very very hard time at your in laws house and i dont want to upset you or be mean.
I think we come from different outlooks on life and maybe thats what i didnt understand.
My parents came from NOTHING, from poverty to living very very very well Mashallah, same with my whole family, i have to do all my own work and my mum taught me to cook at the age of 14-15.
You came from a family where you didnt really have to do much ( as you said) but this is your child and im not saying that you dont love your child and that its not difficult but all babies wake up at night and cry and mothers do it all over the world and its part of package.
What i didnt understand is why you could just get a maid to do the cooking and you look after the baby but now i know you MIL wants you to do everyhting and i would be really upset too, just like you.
But i was not only inspired by your thread i was thinking of many other mothers i know who have never had to lift a finger in their lives and now have maids to do eveyrthing with their child the only thing they do is play with it and that is what i dont like.
Im sorry if i hurt your feelings.
I have just seen my mum and dad struggle for us and my perceptions are different!
iggle.. hitchki's right u shouldnt have to explain yourself. I do believe there is NOTHING wrong with having a maid. I know i will hire one one day in the future when im in pak washing clothes and a jharoo wali... probably will get help when im settled here too (london) like with my own family but what the topic is focusing on is the fact that your should be mature enough to put your child first (unless your working). You dont need women to carry your child.. what is that all about?? On the other hand if my inlaws had a problem with me getting a maid i wouldn't get one. People should know their boundaries, and stop being naazuk, coz this is life and sometimes you just have to bite your tongue and get on with life.
U will know once u r into it. Wen u become a mother I mean. Tc!
Gullible, no i dont know your situation and i know you are having a very very hard time at your in laws house and i dont want to upset you or be mean.
I think we come from different outlooks on life and maybe thats what i didnt understand.
My parents came from NOTHING, from poverty to living very very very well Mashallah, same with my whole family, i have to do all my own work and my mum taught me to cook at the age of 14-15.
You came from a family where you didnt really have to do much ( as you said) but this is your child and im not saying that you dont love your child and that its not difficult but all babies wake up at night and cry and mothers do it all over the world and its part of package.
What i didnt understand is why you could just get a maid to do the cooking and you look after the baby but now i know you MIL wants you to do everyhting and i would be really upset too, just like you.
But i was not only inspired by your thread i was thinking of many other mothers i know who have never had to lift a finger in their lives and now have maids to do eveyrthing with their child the only thing they do is play with it and that is what i dont like.
Im sorry if i hurt your feelings.
I have just seen my mum and dad struggle for us and my perceptions are different!
Alvena i think her inlaws want her to do All work plus look after the child n hav no maid wat so ever. by having a maid for the kid she means someone who can ocassionally clean up her mess or play or bath her. but ofcourse she will feed n do the basic nursing. Also since a child wakes up a lot during night n might wake up 6 in the morning daily ur sleep is affected. the child can sleep back at 9 n 12 n 4 again but u can't. So if a maid takes care of child at night while mom takes good rest in the morning she will b fresh to bond with her child n do some chores around the house.
Re: Difference between being a mother in pakistan and abroad.
I understand gullibles story more fully now and i agree with her need of a helping hand, i misunderstood first.
But i still stick to some of my points from other things i have seen.
Re: Difference between being a mother in pakistan and abroad.
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Gullible, no i dont know your situation and i know you are having a very very hard time at your in laws house and i dont want to upset you or be mean.
I think we come from different outlooks on life and maybe thats what i didnt understand.
My parents came from NOTHING, from poverty to living very very very well Mashallah, same with my whole family, i have to do all my own work and my mum taught me to cook at the age of 14-15.
You came from a family where you didnt really have to do much ( as you said) but this is your child and im not saying that you dont love your child and that its not difficult but all babies wake up at night and cry and mothers do it all over the world and its part of package.
What i didnt understand is why you could just get a maid to do the cooking and you look after the baby but now i know you MIL wants you to do everyhting and i would be really upset too, just like you.
But i was not only inspired by your thread i was thinking of many other mothers i know who have never had to lift a finger in their lives and now have maids to do eveyrthing with their child the only thing they do is play with it and that is what i dont like.
Im sorry if i hurt your feelings.
I have just seen my mum and dad struggle for us and my perceptions are different!
Oh please don't be sorry. It's alright :) I love being with my baby all the time. Who will do the cooking n chores n who will give time to mil, that she wants? I needed a maid not to feed him, bath him, keep baby with maid all the time, I just want a maid to attend him wen I'm in bath to attend him while I cook n do chores. To attend him wen I need rest.
Re: Difference between being a mother in pakistan and abroad.
And now i understand your story from your thread i agree with your needs.
Re: Difference between being a mother in pakistan and abroad.
Thank u alvena. N don't take it on heart of someone is trying to direct u. Ppl usually have this habit. So dun worry :)
Very true! I M proud of u. U being a guy, understand paki women n agree with the truths :)
wow it feels great, when u read the highlighted part... Thanks :D
Iggle. I really feel it is disgraceful that you are being made to feel as though you need to explain the reasons behind hiring someone to help you in your own house.
iggle.. hitchki's right u shouldnt have to explain yourself.
I didn't see any harm at all, in explaining my views. It is not disgraceful in anyway! Lol!
I wasn't made to explain myself. I wanted to explain that having a servant was not *a symbol of superiority *and why some people hire maids etc.
After all this is a discussion board. :)
East or West being a mother is a tough job.
However, it is a fact that labor is cheap in Pakistan and majority of households in Pakistan have extra help from maids who clean the house, wash clothes and dishes etc. Most one has to do is cooking. Also in Pakistan most parents now a days don't bother making their kids do anything around the house becuse they don't have too. This type of upbringing can become problamatic for their kids in the future in many ways.
In West majority of households can't afford outside help for their everyday chores and everyone has to do their share of chores around the house. And whoever says that having dishwasher or vaccume cleaners means house work is a bareez, think again.