Difference between being a mother in pakistan and abroad.

Lifestyle Relationships
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Re: Difference between being a mother in pakistan and abroad.

In pakistan the houses are way bigger compared to here, and harder to clean since we mostly have tiles or bricked floors there and here we usually have carpet or wood. We have dishwashers, and washing machines, and just about everything so life is easier out here. My sis has 3 kids and she is a stay at home mom, her house is about 5,000sq feet and I'm amazed at how she handles everything easily. She even trained her 4 and 3 year old daughter on folding clothes and cleaning up after their self, be it from picking up toys, putting shoes in closet, or looking after their 9 months old sister. The kids enjoy feeling grown up and lifes easier. She freezes the kababs and stuff, cuts all the nessecasry things like onions tomatoes for the whole week so the salan can be cooked easily and effortlessly. all she needs to do is broom the kitchen daily and vaccum the livving room. rest is done on a weekly basis. Its mostly about organizing and fixing a schedule for everything. Life can be so much easier that way. For paki, I guess the loadshedding, hot weather and relatives over can be frustrating so a maid is needed I guess.

22

Your sister sure is so impressive! :)

Muhabbat aur khushiyan ...
23

I kno, I feel like a bum compared to my nieces haha

24

You join the queen and a few other special ones hun..
Maybe 0.5% of the UK population
I think the most people have close to a maid is maybe a cleaner or a child minder.. for a few hours a week..

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Re: Difference between being a mother in pakistan and abroad.

i have no problem in raising kids by myself but i hate cooking and if i could afford i'd hire a cook.

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Like I said before it is up to the individual!

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Re: Difference between being a mother in pakistan and abroad.

This reminds when some aunties originally from Pakistan came over to ours for tea and biscuits and they started talking about their niece..

Aunty no 1 "My niece got married and has moved to the Uk and is living with her husband and in laws in a flat in London.. Bechari itni thaki houi hai ghar ka kaam kar ke, ke hum nai usay kaha hai aik naukar chaakar rakh lai..."

Now, unfortunately this comment made me spurt out my tea over my clothes (not good)

I had to respond (not good to do to an Aunty who is so jahil that she thought I might be jealous) that I knew of many many professionals, heart surgeons to Directors of Huge companies who do all their work themselves from cooking and cleaning so I was shocked how this young girl would need an imported maid to look after her, her bank manager husband and her inlaws..

people who have got people washing up for them are either very very rich or bless them are physcially unable to do it themselves through illness or disability

Is it a symbol of superiority...

I sometimes think that I would love to have a cleaner to just clean the house top to toe but logically I know that I have enough time and energy to do it myself so why be so lazy..

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Good for you hun..

Timepass - October 2013
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Yeah see we all have that dream! Hehe! :)

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Confucius

Seriously, lets not start judging or attacking those people with maids!

What if you had no qualifications b/c you were so poor and someone offered you a job as a maid, hun?

Would you turn it down? Its is a job at the end of the day.

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Re: Difference between being a mother in pakistan and abroad.

You poeple w/out Maids are Jealous.. and ALL of you,* if you could afford it *- would have Maids in Pakistan.

Hell..even if you could afford a large enough house abroad. And as great as Being "Super" is, it invariably means neglect on at least one front, be that in the Garden, the sink, or somewhere else.

This is also an argument for extended family. Don't shoot the messenger.

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Re: Difference between being a mother in pakistan and abroad.

I am no way saying that not giving people who need a job shouldnt get one, i totally understand that people need jobs, in pakistan when we go our driver is greatful for the extra work, my dad paid for his daughters wedding! its not about that.

And its not about judging people either.

If someone has a child, instead of a maid carrying the child and the mother doing the work, hire a maid to do some work and the mother carry and play with the child and bond and bring it up!

And to be honest im not talking about having a gardner or a plumber or whatever, im talking specifically about a maid to look after a baby.

Im just saying my mum and many others could hold a strong bond with me and run the house and hold down a job.

I dont think a maid should be hired to look after a child if you are at home, a maid should be hired to do work if you cant cope.

If you have a job and the child is 1-2 years old and there is no creche or play school then sure hire a maid.

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Re: Difference between being a mother in pakistan and abroad.

^ Yeah personally, I could never let any maid look after my child. I even took off 2 years of work to look after my child.

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Re: Difference between being a mother in pakistan and abroad.

Iggle.. This is no attack and it is just pure fact that I am stating..

The Web of life means that everyone deserves a chance at making money and feeding their family and I would never wish to shun anyone to work as maid for money...

but some people are just unrealistic and like I stated.. everyone would like to find ways of making life less taxing but then it comes back to the point do we really need it.. in my case no...

My mother looked after us 3 siblings and she didn't go to work so that she could look after us the way my parents wanted to and ofcourse that reduced the income by 50% but my father (bless him) took on responsibilities and sacrificed a lot of pleasures

.. we went to our family home in Pakistan and the house is relatively large.. 3 floors etc but me and my sis in law decided that we would look after it ourselves
and yep it was hard but we did it,

I understand why people have naukars in Pakistan due to small small tasks like washing clothes being more labour intensive than in the west..but some peeps not sure if they have Naukars just for the show factor

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Re: Difference between being a mother in pakistan and abroad.

. blah jst repeated myself so edited the post!

36

exactly, you made sacrifices to look after your own child.

Thats what im saying, i dont think people should be hired to look after a small child when the bond is so important because...they cant be bothered to carry a heavy baby.

Sure take a pressure off by maternity leave or an extra helping hand with the cooking and cleaning.

37

My Mother is a Doc' and she gave up her career for over 10 years until we were all school-going to be a full-time Mom to us. So I do understand that parents should make responsibilities and sacrifices for their kids. :)

I don't have a maid to show-off. That thought never even crossed my mind. Lol! She used to work in my building, was made redundant and came crying to me. I thought that as was a Muslim, jobless and I could afford it I could create a new job for her. She has been with me for years and has been a blessing in my life! I do all the cooking myself except I have taught her to make chappati's and parata's for when guests come round.

By the way some servants in UK get paid so much! I know one maid in my apartment who gets paid 30 grand a year! Couldn't believe it!!!! Who wouldn't give up their day job for that?! Lol!

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Re: Difference between being a mother in pakistan and abroad.

Iggle. I really feel it is disgraceful that you are being made to feel as though you need to explain the reasons behind hiring someone to help you in your own house. If you make a lifestyle choice, who is anyone else to judge it, based on half-baked ideals on *superwomen?
*
Men are never judged as such. Why are we expected to look great, maintain great houses, raise great kids, have great careers, have active social lives and still be mentally and emotionally fulfilled at-the-same-time?

And even when we do manage as much, using our hard-earned resources to further the economy whilst lightening our own load.. it is frowned upon. It is great hypocrasy imo and one perpretrated by women rather than men.

I know several well rounded, able, intelligent, sucessful etc women and men who were raised in their immediate years by Aya's or Maids/Babysitters/In-home carers, whilst the mother and father both sacrificed at-home time to secure their childrens futures.

You can't expect a woman to step off the career ladder and step back onto the same rung 5 years later. It is unfair and discriminatory. In that situation, judging the woman for wanting to preserve some life for herself and furthering her family in the process is not-very-nice. You don't have to walk in the same path, but the throw stones needlessly is also short sighted.

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Re: Difference between being a mother in pakistan and abroad.

Hitchki- you have got the wrong end of the stick i think.

We arent saying that a mum or infact dad has to be a superwoman.

Its about hiring someone to deal with the baby while you do whatever you want, rather than having someone do the work and the mother looking after the baby.

No one is saying that mums should be superwoman, and there is always equal responsibility with the father to build the bond wit the child and help around the house. But in human nature the mothers bond is what is most important.

Most mother choose to spend the first year with their child building a bond, in all cultures and traditions.

I just dont understand why someone would want a maid to look after their child especially as they will at home all day themselves. Ok if there is a party or you have to go out a child minder for a few hours.

I just think building a bond with the child especially in the first 2-4 years.

even iggle said she took 2 years off work as she wouldnt want a maid looking after her child.

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Re: Difference between being a mother in pakistan and abroad.

iggle.. hitchki's right u shouldnt have to explain yourself. I do believe there is NOTHING wrong with having a maid. I know i will hire one one day in the future when im in pak washing clothes and a jharoo wali... probably will get help when im settled here too (london) like with my own family but what the topic is focusing on is the fact that your should be mature enough to put your child first (unless your working). You dont need women to carry your child.. what is that all about??
On the other hand if my inlaws had a problem with me getting a maid i wouldn't get one. People should know their boundaries, and stop being naazuk, coz this is life and sometimes you just have to bite your tongue and get on with life.