Re: Did your mother-in-law.............?
MY in laws got my valima lengha and I didnt really like it, I saw it a few days b4 the valima it was to late to get ather and I thought they gonna think im a cow for not liking it, and had to wear it, but I got my wedding day outfit myself and loved it!
Re: Did your mother-in-law.............?
that was 5 years ago, and I think alot has changed my cousins, in laws gave her the money and she went and got her lengha and it was lovely.
that was 5 years ago, and I think alot has changed my cousins, in laws gave her the money and she went and got her lengha and it was lovely.
Yes, that's true - a lot has changed. I'm sorry to hear about your valima dress. At least you got what you wanted for the baraat..!
It really irritates me when the bride has no or little say in what goes on her body, on the most important say of her life. I'm glad things are beginning to change.
You have pictures of your wedding? we'd love to see..!
Re: Did your mother-in-law.............?
My MIL had already got my valima suit ready and my sister saw it 2 days b4 the wedding and decided it was horrendous, so i got dragged off to the bazaar to choose something that i liked and luckily i found something nice that was ready for next day, which happened to b the barat day but i didnt know it then. So the next day MIL was horrified in her turn cos my sister said i wouldnt b wearing her chosen suit. LOL, in the end i had to compromise and wear the horrendous BRIGHT RED and gold monstrosity for the morning and the nice lehnga for the afternoon when most of the guests had arrived.
Re: Did your mother-in-law.............?
^ You went out and bought another lehnga on your mehndi day? How'd your parents feel about that? Although I am certainly happy for you that you got to wear what you liked eventually, I still think if it was that important to you that you wore something you really liked on your valima and you went as far as getting one you liked overnight, why didn't you talk to your MIL ahead of time about it? I'm sure you weren't shy since you did have the guts to tell her straight up at the 11th hour you weren't planning on wearing what she got you.
I say this because I know the Valima is mostly the guy's side's day. They put in much effort and thought in their hosting as the girl's side does for the baraat. And of course, MILs and SILs go through the process of picking out a dress for the bride (however ugly their choice maybe).. Plus that is their day for face keeping and showing the world what they gave the baho and maintain their egos to an extent.
So then perhaps if you had mentioned you wanted to be part of the process, they would've included you and neither party would have had to waste money on a new dress.
I do believe wedding planning in Pakistani culture should include all parties. I would've preferred your MIL/SIL asked you exactly what you wanted and have that made but I guess it wasn't as easy as that when you got married. Things have rapidly starting changing only in the last 2-3 yrs.
Anyway, I recall you saying you have 2 boys? Correct me if I'm wrong. Mashallah, boys are such fun beings..! My nephews are devils though! Haha... drive me insane when they visit..!
My sister did all the talking and thinking for me, cos i wasn't really with it at the time, but i do recall having a laugh when choosing the dress. Bcos we were only in the country for a short while, and were more or less on holiday, the wedding planning was left to in laws cos they were more familiar with the environment, so they got all the wedding clothes for me, even those that my family should have got (lack of time and "we don't know what the hells going on" factor).
Besides, MIL wasnt taking anything i said seriously cos she thought anything i said was just the nerves talking. So i became rebellious and thought if they r doing all this against my will, i can at least gain control of this suit business and see how they like it!
My parents had a few reservations but my sister talked them round.
Re: Did your mother-in-law.............?
Ahh.. Well then your sister deserves huge credit..! How old was your sister then?
Re: Did your mother-in-law.............?
she picked it out
and then she brought it over 3 months before the waleema for me to see it and try it on
it was very loose but it worked on the waleema cuz the make up lady fitted it with pins
she picked it out and then she brought it over 3 months before the waleema for me to see it and try it on it was very loose but it worked on the waleema cuz the make up lady fitted it with pins
Did you like it?
If you tried it on 3 months ahead of time, didn't you MIL get the dress altered to fit you??
My MIL and I went shopping together. So I chose everything from top to bottom. The long day ended with some really good italian food at a cozy resturant.
Re: Did your mother-in-law.............?
For my chachus wedding we just gave the bride money so she could pick it our herself and she looked way better then if we would have picked soemthing out bcuz obviously she knows what she looks good in and how to dress herself.
That’s the best option of all. Both parties are included, good bonding time and ending a lovely evening on a pleasant note.
:k:
Re: Did your mother-in-law.............?
i chosed everything myself bcoz mil iz nt alive
oops! my mil
Re: Did your mother-in-law.............?
^ pictures? :p
^ pictures? :p
Will you get to choose or will your in laws do it for you?
I hope you get to choose, for their sake :-p
Re: Did your mother-in-law.............?
The walima outfit is bought from the grooms side and traditionally its them who chose it by nowadays girls seem to want to chose it themselves so they either go with the mother in law to pick or show her designs and in some cases girls side buy it themselves and grooms side pay for it. I guess it depends on what the family are like. some people want to get it themselves and some dnt mind giving the money. my mum gave the money to my bhabi and she bought whatever she liked but for my wedding my mother in law wanted to get mine so i gave her some mag cuttingd and she got something similar to that