Sumo - with my 2nd one I wasn't mentally ready. I had my girls almost back to back and the decision way mine to have them that way but I wasn't ready.
Throughout my 2nd pregnancy - I kept thinking about how I am going to take care of TWO kids. I felt stuck, I felt miserable and I felt so gulity for having these feelings espically after infertility issues. I kept telling myself "I don't want this" "I don't want this"
But the moment that I heard her cry in the OR - I was crying. **I have never experienced that type of joy or love. **She was easy baby - she still is.
I never looked back and all those feelings just disappeared.
Thats exactly how it happened with me!! With my first baby girly, i was so thrilled and so thankful to Allah swt that i just wanted to look after her so well, give her her quality time and then move onto baby number 2! But obviously God had other plans lol and little lady number 2 came along soon after my elder one had turned 1.5! I had all those feelings and MUCH more that you have said above but as soon as she was born, she was like a little angel dropped from heaven! lol MashaAllah she is so beautiful and a bright light in the room!! We wanted to name her MahaNOOR, but it was already taken!
I am now so thankful to Allah swt that it happened the way it did because they're like 2 lil best buddies MashaAllah and I pray that they remain an anchor to each other and love ech other throughout their lives (ameen).
Anyway, just thought i'd have my say, normally i love to read everyone's posts and i feel i have learnt soooo much with regards to every aspect of life really!