Growing up, we were made fun of all the time in US public schools. Our language, clothes, hair (yes, my mother did the oily chotiyan on me), food (shami kabab rolls), our names, etc. You name it. Its so funny…nowadays you hear desies and Muslims being called “terrorist”. Before…they (brownies in general) were called “Gandhis” or “Hindus”. Thats how we were made fun of. Yeah, it bugged me then when I was growing up. I wanted to be normal which was basically considered being white where I lived.
But I fought back. I was a scrawny little thing in KG but I punched this gigantic girl because she kept calling me “Gandhi”. I didnt even know who the man was! My dad was actually proud of me (he actually taught me the punch)! I know thats so bad but he didnt want people to push me around.
Were you ever in such situations? Did it make or break your confidence in who you are today or were back then?
The funny thing is I was never subjected to any name calling or anything like that when growing up in London...surprising,I know...other than a 'paki' once maybe.And yes,I also had the oily chotis too.
I think my friends were fascinated by our food.As we lived quite close to my infant/junior school,most of my friends would stop by and my mum would hand out garam rotis with butter and jam rolled up...or pakoras in the winter,so I guess I was 'cool'.
No...the worst actually came from my own relatives.As I hit puberty,I became a little chubby...from a scrawny chicken to a mother hen type.Nothing major,but this coincided with a visit to Pakland...and the name haathi bacha stuck.It was sooo mortifying...even though my fave mamu stuck up for me,to this day I hate those relatives who called me that and still bring it up,when I see them.After a couple of years I lost that weight,and it was sooo gratifying to see their jaws drop when they saw me again,but I did lose a lot of confidence and even now when I look in the mirror,I know I'm not overweight,but still................
I have to say, I went to school with a bunch of mature, open minded kids. I was never made fun of for my religion or ethnicity. Just everything else. :)
^ same here , im not in US though.. this was very common around 1980's here i think, because my cousins went to school then and couldnt really wear the hijab for example. because it was so alien to kids in school and ppl made fun of it etc. But alhmd. these things are not a problem at all any more. food is appreciated a lot cuz there are indian restaurants so they are familiar with it and clothes are common etc. So yea, i have never been made fun of my religion/background.
I went to school with arabs (mostly egyptians and saudis) with 4-5 pakistanis/indians in a class of 20-25. There wasn't any discrimination based on religion although there were some kids who made fun of the way we talked, they liked to imitate us talking in Urdu. In football or any other sport, we were always the last to be chosen for either team.
I was lucky enough to go to schools that weren't turned off by anything but were mroe fascinated than anything about my culture. The food, the language the customs. It was very cool. Or maybe I just lived in my own world and never did notice anything. Who knows.
No one was fascinated by our culture or customs…the kids were vicious. Despite all that though, I dont think I grew up with any resentment towards my ethnicity. Sure, there were times when it was inconvenient. Like I NEVER got to dress up for Halloween. Or participate in any of the other kids’ holidays. My dad even pulled me out of the segment of biology class where they were going over reproduction…. I never had any non-desi friends until college. I dont hold it against them though. They did what they thought was best at the time and were simply trying to protect us.
However, I do know a lot of people who went the opposite direction and became ashamed of their roots. Like they dont speak an ounce of Urdu or Punjabi or Pashto. They tried to assimilate as much as possible and let go of everything desi.
Till middle school I was in a pretty ethnic diversified schools. Infact you were an outcast if you didn't really have culture. High School broke me but I think it broke everyone else too even the ALL the girls named Becky and Megan
There was one thing that i do think about now and again. While i was in school prob bout 6 or 7 and there was a girl in my class who when we would have to stand on a circle holding hands she would cover her hand with her sleeve...it was because i was 'brown'...i don't know how i knew it was because of that, but i know she would only do it to me...At the time though she was a good friend of mine and we would play together etc. weird eh?
Throughout secondary school i was ok actually. I went to a Catholic school and they were very interested in Islam etc and my culture.
My kids have been born and raised in US and have gone to schools in many states and cities . They never had any complaint about anybody treating them bad, bullying or making fun of for any reason.
Mine was quite the opposite actually. Went to a school that was like 200 Desis: 20 Non-desis. So none of the issues like name calling, being made fun of etc. It was actually more of desis turning agaisnt each other and calling each other FOB, coconut and what not and a lot of gossiping about whose secretly dating who, whose engaged, whose been drinking secretly.
If, I had the choice again, I’d like to go to a less desified school.
I never went to an English school but college was a neccesity... I tended to keep myself to myself... I look more central Asian rather than typical desi hence I could get away from the usual hatred for Pakistani's... I noticed a lot of tensions back then due to the riots going on in Bradford etc...
But one day there were some lads picking on a scrawny fellow from Lahore... and he didn't stand a chance against his agressors... who were four against one. So I went over and told them if they wanted to fight a Pakistani then they better leave my fellow countryman and come for me... At the time I stood a head taller than most people and my best friends were Adam Myton, yes the current European free style Kickboxer, and Ross Mason, of cage fighting fame.. who now is a K1 fighter.
Naturally after that and a few other scraps that year I never had any troubles and I can speak better than most Englishmen... I never let my cultural differences stop me from making my way through life...
Its a tad bit different now though. My parents came here at a time when you couldnt find a desi no matter how much curry you made
There is a lot more diversity and tolerance for people. Plus, our generation has grown up, is having kids and is a LOT more aware of what to look for so this happens less now. My personal opinion though.
You know nj, my mom worked very hard on my hair and I am grateful to her for it.
When its happening and you’re in that situation…you dont get it. You think your parents are just out to ruin you. But later on, it clicks that even their mistakes were okay.
Do any of you know anyone that is bitter with their roots?
I was picked on in my elementary school.. as there were only about 10 desis in the entire school and we all hung out together… and i was the most quiet one so I got picked on the most.
However, that all changed when I entered high school, got contacts, invested in a straightener, colored my hair, learned how to put makeup on, and joined the dance team.. became best friends with all the football players at my school and became their lil sister.. then no one dared to mess with me hayeee I have changed soo much (not to stop the bullying, but just cuz i was no longer a tom boy and transformed into a girly girl)
Then I transferred schools, got picked on a little in the beginning but later joined Cosmo and became known as the Cosmo girl and had everyone asking me out… and got in 1 girl-fight and after that no one picked on me…
glad to remember the good old days… hahahah i was quite popular… soo didnt get picked on much in high school and college.. everyone is pretty mature where i go. Elementary was hell though… got picked on alllll the timeee!!!
not yet. but i am dearly looking forward to that glorious moment when i'm confronted with a biased retard so i can neatly but spicy put him/her in their place.
I know thats so bad but he didnt want people to push me around.
. I never had any non-desi friends until college. I dont hold it against them though. They did what they thought was best at the time and were simply trying to protect us.
hayeee I have changed soo much (not to stop the bullying, but just cuz i was no longer a tom boy and transformed into a girly girl)