did it all work out at the end?

Lifestyle Relationships
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i am sure there are a lot of people in this forum who are settled in life now. I am not yet anywhere even close to be settled, i am still in school trying to get a degree that i should have gotten two years ago. i am not married/engaged/ or even have anyone in my mind.
these days i get really scared, what will happen to me? am i ever going to get out of the college with a degree, find a decent job, and live a normal life? am i ever going to find a person that i have dreamed of my entire life, and live a nice peaceful content life like i always wanted to?

i need some success stories from you guys to get my mind out of this depressing state that i am sort of falling into.
where you guys ever in my situation? did you guys who now have settled-in life now were also scared about future like i am? did things eventually worked out for you?

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Re: did it all worked out at the end?

I'm in no position to give advice but I'm bored so hey-ho.
I think you should put your trust in Allahs' plans for you and enjoy life, before you know it you'll be looking in the mirror at an old woman, you don't want to be thinking that you let life pass you by. You have an amazing opportunity to do something, take hold of it and make the most of it, you won't have the chance to take up adventures when you're married with kids.
There's wisdom behind everything, what if you were married now but you were unhappy? Wouldn't you rather be in the position you are now? In-sha'Allah there's a right time and place for everything, and I bet yours is just around the corner ;)
Leave everything up to fate and enjoy life, you only live once. That's my life-plan for you, hope it helps in some way. Keep your chin up!:)

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Re: did it all worked out at the end?

i know you are right, i do trust ALLAHTALA. i always tell my self that everything happens for a reason. and ALLAHTALA only do what is best for us. so the situation i am in right now must be somehow the best for me.
but at the same time. i am a human. a very weak one, sometimes i do feel down. i see my friends around, with proper college degrees, getting married to great people having kids and most important of all "HAPPY" and then i look at my self and see so many doubts, so much emptiness...

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Re: did it all worked out at the end?

It is a scary time, I feel I am at a strange stage at the moment too, inshallah all will work out, thats what I pray for everyday, and remind myself to leave it upto Allah (swt).

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Re: did it all worked out at the end?

i know yaar....it really is the scariest time of my life too.

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Re: did it all worked out at the end?

I think we all feel like that, no matter our situations, and I also think we all have been in that situation...scared of the future...

I graduated wiht a bachelors at age 24, it took me two years longer than it should have...the last few years of college my husband and I weren't living together yet, and my parents were living in Pakistan, so I was living with my brother and his family, so it was almost like living on my own....yet at the time I complained about things that were beyond my control (peoples attitudes, our situation etc) but now when I look back I just remember hte good times I had, learning to cook, never having any restrictions on me etc.

There is no "end"...there's no final page or chapter and no credits that roll....life is ongoing....there are times when it will feel like the biggest mistake of your life and other times when something feels that was worth it...

we all go through ups and downs in life, even if ure married and out of school, u may feel "unsettled" cz u dont hav ea stable job or don't own a home or don't have kids...when u have all those, who knows, u still may not be content or feel settled enough. The key is to find happiness and contentment in your situation, no matter what the situation is... almost every situation has ups and downs..

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Re: did it all worked out at the end?

Yea eventually it works out . At one point in life I use to think that if I'll ever be able to get a job , or enough education . Now I have a little bit of both . The only thing is that keep striving , either in right direction or wrong direction , because everything you do , eventually it will pay off .

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Re: did it all worked out at the end?

there are no success stories.

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Re: did it all worked out at the end?

you are completely right sara.
i am 24, and i still have 2 more years of college to go. after i graduated from highschool, i didn't know what to do, made stupid choices, and almost 2 years of my college went to complete waste, none of the classes i took during that time count toward my degree now.
but......i think not being married, or even knowing who i will be getting married to is the most scariest thing in my life right now. i don't know if he will be from pakistan, if i will be supporting him here or he will be able to do on his own, cuz if i have to support him here then i can't get married till i get a degree with is too long of a time....
i don't know, if feel scared, and it's the kind of feeling i can't share with anyone. i know life is ongoing, and no matter what state we are in, there will still be uncertainty about a lot of the things, even when i do get married, do finish my degree.......but at least if (INSHALLAH) i find a good guy, i will have someone to talk to, to turn in to. right now.........i feel like i am on my own in a bad way. and i wonder if things are ever going to get better.

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Re: did it all worked out at the end?

just a question, if ull be marrying a guy from Pakistan, is it goign to be of your own chocie or your family's decision? cz if its the latter...then they should be helping you out...i know lots of parents whose son-in-laws are from pak do that.....

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Re: did it all worked out at the end?

Yanzala,

I have great amount of respect for you because you are putting through effort to finish your degree. Age doesn't matter and believe me it takes lots of guts for some people to be in your position. I am saying all this because i remember my older sister has gone through same experience as yourself. She finished her degree at 26 while i was finishing my medical to become doctor at age 24. My sister used to tell me that she feels depressed because she is behind than everybody else and don't know if she was going to find someone loving and caring. And guess what now, she graduated and in process got very good rishta and now Alhamdulli'lah happily married. What i am saying is if i ever met a girl like yourself i would totally propose her and get married. And the reason is because i have great amount of respect for someone who struggle to get through life and if i can play any part as a supporter be it financially or anything else..i will always be there.

Life is very short and we should always look for someone who is truly caring and loving. Because nothing matters in this life than a person's character and how he/she carries themselves. I pray that insha'allah you will find somebody soon and hope you invite all the GS crew to your marriage insha'allah.

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Re: did it all worked out at the end?

@sara....my parents aren't rich. ALHAMDULILAH, we are living a comfortable life, no complains. but my parents can't afford to financially support me.

@Hassan007, thank you so much. really. you words really made me feel better. i really do hope i finish by the time i turn 26, and have the rest similar to your sister also :D...and when u do look for a girl to marry...remember to choose one who needs a friends, a partner, not your money/looks/status, or family name.

i am going through a very rough time right now (emotionally) and i can't share it with anyone........not with my parents....or my friends....i only have this forum right now. so thanks all :D

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Re: did it all worked out at the end?

i think we r in the same boat except the fact that i have completed my degree Alahmdullilah........ u know what i feel the same as u r feeling right now & feel depressed too & that too from past 3 years...... i also see my lots of friends around getting married at right time & completing their education at time too........... things work for all of them so smoothly & swiftly........... they get everything on right time & as they want.......... & i feel why i m the only one around who is like this........ i feel so depressed when i find that my future is so unsecure & i did not have a hope too as i m not enegaged .......what will happen too me? ....... sometimes i feel so complexed as my friends r settled & have achieved so much in their lives.... & heading towards successful life.......... i think i m far behind now..........

well...... now instead of looking at those girls who r married & some r having kids too, i look at those FEW girls who r not married yet just to give satisfaction to my heart that there r still some girls around who r not yet married...........

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Re: did it all worked out at the end?

same here :( .......

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Re: did it all worked out at the end?

It depends a lot on what do you consider as success.

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Re: did it all worked out at the end?

umm...it's really not that hard. i want to feel secure about my future, as much as a human possibly can. I want to be happy, and comfirtable in my living arrangements (with husband/kids, or parents, but i want to be happy, and content about it, not depressed) have enough money to live a decent life where i can pay my bills, have food on table and cloths on me and my family. and some savings for bad times.
i don't think i am asking for anything out of ordinary.

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Re: did it all worked out at the end?

i will say u still lucky...u r settin up ur career soon........i m oing through same situation......yet elder than u.......only difference is that u r thinking whom u will get marry etc...and i have proposal where my father wants me to get marry as soon as possible after my mother's death....and i dont want to marry him.........and no one is understanding me

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Re: did it all worked out at the end?

i will say u still lucky...u r settin up ur career soon........i m oing through same situation......yet elder than u.......only difference is that u r thinking whom u will get marry etc...and i have proposal where my father wants me to get marry as soon as possible after my mother's death....and i dont want to marry him.........and no one is understanding me

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Re: did it all worked out at the end?

Such girls do not exist…:bummer:

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Re: did it all worked out at the end?

Inshallah things will work out Yanzala! Life is just always confusing.
I realise and know that alhumdulillah things in theory seem to be going well for me, ie at an amazing university, engaged etc.
But for some reason I also want things to move faster and I want to get on with my life, so you are not on your own!
I do try to be so thankful. But it is just life, the daily routine and amount of work having to be put in all the time,
the expectations so many people have of you, it gets you down.
To be honest I think it is nice at times to have a bit of mystery as to what life holds.
At times, I actually envy my siblings who are at the age now that I got engaged
They seem to be really into their education, even if they are not the courses they had really wanted to do, and not hung up on this getting married thing!
Me on the other hand, I am doing a really tough course, that I worked so hard to get into, and yet all I can think about is what is going to happen in the future and how badly I want things to work out.
It seems to have taken over my life.
Enjoy your degree, give it all your time and attention and spend time with your family, and you will see that inshallah when the right time comes, everything will fall into place!