did it all work out at the end?

Lifestyle Relationships
21

Re: did it all worked out at the end?

The real worries start after marriage and kids so enjoy what you've got matey.

22

Re: did it all worked out at the end?

dude, enough with those cliche’d statement. why do you think all those girls here worrying about the future…if we weren’t looking for what i mentioned above some of us would have been married at the age of 18. the reason i refused to some proposal is because i wanted to make a real life with a real guy. if i only wanted to get married i would have never gone to college, or try to do something for my own slef’s securities, not entirely rely on husband for everything. there are girls who wants to be a life partner…maybe try looking at the right places. don’t go for just prettyness…rich girls…who do aysh on their parents’ earning, and will do same with their husband’s earning. pehlay larkay barbie dolls jaisi larkiyan chahtay hain, phir un kay artificial honay pay aytraaz kartayhain.

23

Re: did it all worked out at the end?

lol, that's a brighter side to look at :D

24

Re: did it all worked out at the end?

i don't know......i haven't seen or heard of such girls...may be they do exist...

what would be the 'right' place to look?

btw..i hate barbies......they are unrealisitic,immatures,made of plastic,expensive.....no way..

on topic..

We all have such insecurities whether things will work out the way we want or not...but we can only try and believe that only that will happen which has been written in our destiny...and just pay some attention to those around you who are less fortunate than you in terms of their circumstances...that automatically makes you thankful to God..(i know it sounds cliche'd too.....but thats only what i try to think)

And worrying about what sort of spouse you going to have is something you can't do much about.....you will only find out after you are married......so hope for the best and prepare for the worst...

25

Re: did it all worked out at the end?

wht exaclty u mean thts wht u think of my other frdzzzzzzzzz toooooooooo :bummer:

dude jst talk about your own insecurities dont generalize it , we r confident aint lik you so much insecure we prefer to stay singleton maximum time though this wont b possible forever :slight_smile:

26

Re: did it all worked out at the end?

I got married at a late age and there was a time when all my friends were married and had kids and I was not even engaged or anything.
Even though I enjoyed my single life, there is so much peer pressure about getting married that it gets to you sometimes.
Also since I was single and my friends all married with kids, we could not get together as much or talk about the same stuff .... well in general priorities change for married people and that can get depressing when friends have not enough time for you .... so I had to find new single friends.
May be that is what will help you.
Also I think most girls if not all think about getting married, having kids. As I said most girls not all so for me it is natural for a girl to think of these things.

There are so many other girls who are more unfortunate than you. I personally know some girls who are not as young as you and are not married, are living in Pakistan and could not finish their degrees. One of the girl is kind of engaged as in "baat ho chuki he " but marriage is no where in sight. she and the guy wants to get married but there are so many problems. The other girl does not even have a rishta yet.
I am not sure why you think you may need to support the guy. I know bad thing/situation can happen to anyone and we should all be strong enough to support ourselves but why would you think about it from the start. Coming from Pakistan does not mean the guy cannot work. He may need some initial support but guys from Pakistan come on work visa and support themselves.
As for success stories, I dont know everyone has a different success criteria.
If you take me then yes had some problems but now am kind of settled Alhamdolillah, does not mean I do not have any problems in life or goals to achieve but I dont think this ever stops.

27

Re: did it all worked out at the end?

they do exist......unless you think i am some computerized spam robot :D
i honestly, honestly could care less about what a person earns, his social status, etc as long as he is a good person. and i really mean it, that is not a cliched statement either, and i know this for sure because i have almost agreed to rishtas like that, but if you are a girl living in usa things back fire on you because then it's the guy who wants to marry you for the green card, and USA qualified girl so he doesn't have to work as hard to make his living.
and.....maybe the reason why you have never met girls like this is probably you are judging them before knowing them :/ i don't know about others though, i can only speak for myself.

and i agree with you about you next statement too....i remind my self of it all the things, but sometimes life crashes on you all at the same time, and at that kind of times just thinking positive doesn't help, you need some results too. i am just at that stage right now i guess.

28

Re: did it all worked out at the end?

you should be really glad that you are not one of us :confused:

29

Re: did it all worked out at the end?

i completely agree, and i do know that this is one of the reason, i am feeling all depress these days, cuz when i need my friends, all of them are busy with their hubbies, or kids.

i think i will need to support the guys because in past i haven't gotten the best rishtas in the world either, most of the guys were not as educated as you need to be in order to find a decent job here, their plan was to come here and start college (at least that is what they said) and if i do believe them, how do you run a house when both spouses are in college? unless i get a rishta from a guy whose degree is going to be acceptable here, i can't stop worrying my self for supporting him, and even the degrees from pakistan that are accepted here doens't guarantee a job.

30

Re: did it all worked out at the end?

...and those of you judgmental people, i am NOT saying NO to a rishta because the guy is not american-standard-qualified, i am just saying NO for him, untill i become stable enough to support him by doing a job, which would required for me to get a degree first.
i DO NOT look down on guys who come from pakistan, or aren't qualified enough. i am just being practical by thinking about the life after getting married.

i would say yes, if i find a guy who wants to marry me for MY SELF ONLY, and would keep me in pakistan after the marriage, where i won't have to work/support him, and our family, but those guys doesn't exist either i guess...or at least i haven't found them yet.

31

Re: did it all worked out at the end?

What is the right time to get married anyways?
I am turning 21 and will be getting married soon.
People seem to think thts 2 early but I know if I was older, they would say its too late.
Its all confusing.

32

Re: did it all work out at the end?

you're scared that you won't find anyone to settle down with? I'm 26 with a degree, post graduate designation and a nice job... only thing I'm scared of is getting married. I miss the school with no care in life... I'm sick of my mom introducing me to some random girls at every family gathering or wedding that I'm invited to.

But enjoy your time now and leave everything in Allah's hand, your path will be made for you and before you know, you'll miss this time that you spent being worried.

33

Re: did it all worked out at the end?

you said the same thing as I did..:faizy:

34

Re: did it all worked out at the end?

i also said “or at least i haven’t found them yet” unless i find one, i can’t be sure of that species’ existence.

35

Re: did it all work out at the end?

InshaAllah it will all work out for you:)

I graduated quiet early but went through a lot of problems in my family when it came to marriage. I got forced married at the age of 21 and fought a long fight to get out of it to get it annulled which happened when I was 25. I felt that all my 'golden years' were lost cuz thats the age all the others were finding their partners. it was the most horrible years of my life.

I am just trying to put things into perspective here. that even if you do graduate early it doesnt mean that you settle down rightaway. dont stress with the age factor. u r gonna finish when its the right time for u!!

Once you are done with your degree its gona be new headache to find a suitable job and a man...once u r married its gonna be expected that u have a baby soon...and once u have a baby, everyone will ask when are you gonna have the second baby and it will always continute like that.

therefore I think that u must set the limits now. take everything as it comes along and just enjoy what u r doing. inshaAllah u will be fine!