salam!
well i have seen many people here who become very emotional and start answering rudely. kindly reply rationally.
as we all know and some of us believe that couples are already decided by ALLAH. “joray asmano mein buntay hein” or as people say “jo naseeb mein hota ha usi se shadi hoti hai. “jb wakt ayega khud shadi hojayegi”. i have seen many couple who remain together for like 7,8 years but unfortunately they don’t get married with each other. sometimes we never think of marrying a person but then we get married to that person.
I’m confused about 2nd marriages. girl who become 2nd wife of any men why is she considered bad or a destroyer of a 1st wife? it might be written in her destiny that she has to become a 2nd wife. even islam allow to have 4 wives if u can treat them equally? if u try alot n in the end destiny takes you in a situation where you have to marry a guy who is already married then? is it a girl’s fault?
I’m very confused about this naseeb concept. ALLAH has given us free will i know. but in the case of marriage,it’s already decided by ALLAH. many of my friends are worried for their marriages and still they are unmarried. they are closed to 26. they are not nakhreli as well. they are ready to marry but they are still unmarried. they have been trying from last 4 years n still struggling alot but no progress.. then people say jab naseeb mein hoga hojayegi.
everything is written in naseeb.
i have read somewhere " jo tere naseeb mein hai woh tujhse koi nahi cheen sakta or jo tere naseeb mein nahi hai woh tujhe kabhi nhi mil sakta chahay tere honton k bech mein hi kyun na ho”
sometimes younger sister get married before elder one, people say it was her luck thats why she got married before elder sis. but if it was their naseeb, then why does it effect elder sister? why do people become judgemental ?
i know a convincing story about naseeb but don’t if its true or not thats why can’t share…
You must realize that even today, most of culture in Pakistan is still based on hinduism. The old sayings, cultural festivals, even weddings and their festivities are all still based on hinduism, and so are the beliefs such as that.
OP, because the 2nd wife had still chosen to marry that guy (I don't believe a 2nd wife should be blamed more though, it's just easier to blame another woman rather than your own husband.. Is it likely she chased him after all?)..
Allah allows us to make decisions and we can still be held accountable IF our actions hurt others (that is speaking generally, not necesssarily in this situation).. If we weren't held accountable for our actions people could literally get away with murder and say "well it was destiny, not my fault."
There's nothing wrong with marrying again IF the women and children are treated fairly and everyone involved is happy.. If that's not the case obviously you can end up with one big mess.. Also, just because something is "allowed" doesn't mean everyone should rush to do it.. People need to take their own personal situations into account..
salam!
well i have seen many people here who become very emotional and start answering rudely. kindly reply rationally.
as we all know and some of us believe that couples are already decided by ALLAH. "joray asmano mein buntay hein" or as people say "jo naseeb mein hota ha usi se shadi hoti hai. "jb wakt ayega khud shadi hojayegi". i have seen many couple who remain together for like 7,8 years but unfortunately they don't get married with each other. sometimes we never think of marrying a person but then we get married to that person.
I'm confused about 2nd marriages. girl who become 2nd wife of any men why is she considered bad or a destroyer of a 1st wife? it might be written in her destiny that she has to become a 2nd wife. even islam allow to have 4 wives if u can treat them equally? if u try alot n in the end destiny takes you in a situation where you have to marry a guy who is already married then? is it a girl's fault?
I'm very confused about this naseeb concept. ALLAH has given us free will i know. but in the case of marriage,it's already decided by ALLAH. many of my friends are worried for their marriages and still they are unmarried. they are closed to 26. they are not nakhreli as well. they are ready to marry but they are still unmarried. they have been trying from last 4 years n still struggling alot but no progress.. then people say jab naseeb mein hoga hojayegi.
everything is written in naseeb.
i have read somewhere " jo tere naseeb mein hai woh tujhse koi nahi cheen sakta or jo tere naseeb mein nahi hai woh tujhe kabhi nhi mil sakta chahay tere honton k bech mein hi kyun na ho"
sometimes younger sister get married before elder one, people say it was her luck thats why she got married before elder sis. but if it was their naseeb, then why does it effect elder sister? why do people become judgemental ?
i know a convincing story about naseeb but don't if its true or not thats why can't share...
God forgive me if I'm wrong but the way I was told this growing up (in Sunday School) was that the concept of naseeb exists but in the sense that Allah already knows what we're going to choose. Ultimately the decision is ours to choose a spouse but it's "predetermined" in the sense that it's already been written because God is all knowing. The idea that "joray aasmanon mein banthay hai" doesn't exist in this framework, as far as I understand. We have the free-will and ability to choose a characterless spouse, homewreck, pious spouse, whatever. it's already written down by God because he knows all but we're not FORCED or destined to end up with anyone against our will. Again, that was what we were taught growing up so forgive me if I'm wrong.
Destiny is Allah knowing what I am going to chose and not other way round i.e I am not going to chose that's in destiny. I am going to chose things using my mind.
To make it easier lets take into account a real world example:
Think of a teacher and student relationship. An experienced teacher who has taught a class for a year (and know students well) can easily guess which student is going to get what grade. I can bet that teacher can write down the grades before checking the papers and 80-90% of the guess would be right. Now does writing down of grades stops students from doing good or bad? NO
Of course Allah being above and beyond all the teachers does not have to guess, he KNOWS for fact.
even i know a real story.
a girl and guy were engaged at a young age, but as time moved on the guy did not get educated and the girl did her masters. so the girl’s family refused and broke the engagement, the guy was happily married to some other lady. after sometime the girl suffered from breast cancer and was operated. seeing this the guy offered her again
and
they both are happily married
they have a son
so this guiy has two wives now
OP: why are you so worried about all this . ppl say alot of things but the best is to ignore and get the best out of them.
whatever we are destined for we will surely get it
Nobody is going to answer you because most people are uncomfortable talking about or questioning traditional beliefs. SOrry to burst your bubble but there is NO such thing as naseeb or jorey aasmaan p bantey hen. It is actually a wrong interpretation of a verse in the Koran which says "we have created you in pairs..." WHat the Koran means is that God has made his créations in pairs...means male for female human....male cat and female cat....male horse and female horse...male duck and female duck etc....all his living créations are created in pairs....but some not-so-smart maulvi interpreted it to mean that God has chosen partners for us....if so...why do 10% of the population doesn't marry ? How come God didn't choose any Partner for those millions? If you still didn't get it then Ican explain more....
even i know a real story.
OP: why are you so worried about all this . ppl say alot of things but the best is to ignore and get the best out of them.
whatever we are destined for we will surely get it
OP is gupshuping , isn't it gupshup forum?
Now back to discussion , in the West naseeb is called "being at the right place at the right time or being at the wrong place at the wrong time"
You are responsible for your own destiny for a big part. If you are not gonna look for spouse, one is not gonna drop into your lap from the sky. If a married guy falls in love and marries a second one, it doesn't necessarily means it was Allah's decisions ..even though Allah knows everything, that guy was most probably a player and douche.
I tend to stay away from given Islamic anecdotes but anyways. One of the stories my mom told me growing up was that a man came to Hazrat Ali (AS) and asked that Allah is all powerful and He controls our fate so whats the point since every action is pre-decided. Imam told the man to lift one leg so the man did and he was standing on one leg, then the Imam told him to raise the other leg too. The man said if he raise the other leg, he will fall. Imam said fate is similar,[FONT=Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, san-serif] it is just this much free will which a man possesses that a person can only lift one leg up whilst standing.
[FONT=Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, san-serif]On a separate note, I am sick of hearing about marriage lately idk. I think marriage is over-rated and a scam. So many people are unhappy after marriage and so many are unhappy coz they are not married. Oh well
God forgive me if I'm wrong but the way I was told this growing up (in Sunday School) was that the concept of naseeb exists but in the sense that Allah already knows what we're going to choose. Ultimately the decision is ours to choose a spouse but it's "predetermined" in the sense that it's already been written because God is all knowing. The idea that "joray aasmanon mein banthay hai" doesn't exist in this framework, as far as I understand. We have the free-will and ability to choose a characterless spouse, homewreck, pious spouse, whatever. it's already written down by God because he knows all but we're not FORCED or destined to end up with anyone against our will. Again, that was what we were taught growing up so forgive me if I'm wrong.
hazrat muhammad peace be upon him said : nothing can change qadar except dua.
then what does it mean?
You are responsible for your own dest
iny for a big part. If you are not gonna look for spouse, one is not gonna drop into your lap from the sky. If a married guy falls in love and marries a second one, it doesn't necessarily means it was Allah's decisions ..even though Allah knows everything, that guy was most probably a player and douche.
I tend to stay away from given Islamic anecdotes but anyways. One of the stories my mom told me growing up was that a man came to Hazrat Ali (AS) and asked that Allah is all powerful and He controls our fate so whats the point since every action is pre-decided. Imam told the man to lift one leg so the man did and he was standing on one leg, then the Imam told him to raise the other leg too. The man said if he raise the other leg, he will fall. Imam said fate is similar,[FONT=Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, san-serif] it is just this much free will which a man possesses that a person can only lift one leg up whilst standing.
[FONT=Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, san-serif]On a separate note, I am sick of hearing about marriage lately idk. I think marriage is over-rated and a scam. So many people are unhappy after marriage and so many are unhappy coz they are not married. Oh well
hazrat muhammad peace be upon him said : nothing can change qadar except dua.
then what does it mean?
Nobody is going to answer you because most people are uncomfortable talking about or questioning traditional beliefs. SOrry to burst your bubble but there is such thing as naseeb or jorey aasmaan p bantey hen. Is is actually a wrong interpretation of a verse in the Koran which says "we have created you in pairs..." WHat the Koran means is that God has made his créations in pairs...means male for female human....male cat and female cat....male horse and female horse...male duck and female duck etc....all his living créations are created in pairs....but some not-so-smart maulvi interpreted it to mean that God has chosen partners for us....if so...why do 10% of the population doesn't marry ? How come God didn't choose any Partner for those millions? If you still didn't get it then Ican explain more....
hazrat muhammad peace be upon him said : nothing can change qadar except dua.
then what does it mean?
it is mentioned in quran that those who doesnt get married they have higher reward. hazrat marium was also unmarried. so those who remain single for the rest of their lives should learn patience from hazrat marium. sorry I'm wrong. may ALLAH forgive me
hazrat muhammad peace be upon him said : nothing can change qadar except dua.
then what does it mean?
it is mentioned in quran that those who doesnt get married they have higher reward. hazrat marium was also unmarried. so those who remain single for the rest of their lives should learn patience from hazrat marium. sorry I'm wrong. may ALLAH forgive me
God knows what you are going to do but he didnt make us do it....What is "qadar" ? Ive never heard of this word but I have heard of "taqdeer"...when you hear nothing can change qadar except dua-that itself is self-contradictory, if qadar can be changed (in however way) then it is not qadar to begin with...
hazrat muhammad peace be upon him said : nothing can change qadar except dua.
then what does it mean?
it is mentioned in quran that those who doesnt get married they have higher reward. hazrat marium was also unmarried. so those who remain single for the rest of their lives should learn patience from hazrat marium. sorry I'm wrong. may ALLAH forgive me
In nowhere in the Quran does it say "those whodoesnt get married they have higher reward"....stop spreading lies...what it says is that those who aren't able to marry... let them be patient....and they will be rewarded for being patient...not rewared for not marrying....
