Re: desperatly confused newly wed
i'm confused aswell after reading your post. ur making all this noise and CHIKH CHIKH now. where were u when u were getting married to him? in Kathmandu or Mogadishu? its not like u woke up 1 morning and u were married. had u make enough effort b4 marriage things could have been different. u have no complaints about the guy or his family. so the only person who is to blame in all this is YOU or your parents for not listening to u [if u ever tried to make them listen to begin with]. you are the one whining and crying now. pehlay sochna nahe aur phir baad main dosron ki zindagi bhi kharab kartay hain. ur the culprit here, not the victim. so just swallow the bitter pill of reality and try to live a happy fulfilling life with ur loving husband and caring in-laws.
I hate to say it but I agree with her..I am going through a forced marriage stage myself and its certainly not easy but I know once I get it over with then I can relax and move on with my life..unfortunately you gave in and noone is to blame but yourself..i know how hard it is to stand up for yourself especially when it comes to delicate issues such as marriage bit its a BIG thing and you should have thought about this before marrying him in the first place..its not a game you know...now after reading your story I am 10000% sure I would not like to be in the same situation as you (sorry) so it should go to show all the girls out there that its YOUR life, YOUR body, YOUR thoughts and feelings you will be sharing with this person for the rest of your lives...
I will pray for you and wish you the best. Since you have given in and married him , make the best of it...did you like someone else? Do you think you can fall in love with him someday? If he is as great s you say, make him understand you need time and this is new for you. If he can't listen and still wants "it" then I would reconsider his "greatness".
If time goes by and you still feel "grossed" bu him, then I suggest you get out. But first give it time and patience. You got this far, so try and make it work. If it doesn't, then it just was not meant to be. Yes, feelings will be hurt, tears will be shed, but ultimately YOU have to live with this decision forever, not your parents who never listened to you in the first place. That is their fault and that is NOT your problem.
Best of luck. I will remember you in duas.