Re: Desis with Goris. (inter-racial dating)
If you the two are happy, they enjoy each others company and see their future together who cares about skin color? We really need to get beyond the mentality that skin color matters.
oh i agree, but thats not really what this thread is about though, i know in an ideal situation no one should care, except you and your partner, but i mean the society isnt perfect
Re: Desis with Goris. (inter-racial dating)
Wat is this hook up you speek af. Are you IT and help with internet connection. Please batao.
nahi yar :D just a lil time pass brah :D bhai iss thread ko P.G. rakhain to meharbani hogi ;)
Re: Desis with Goris. (inter-racial dating)
haha well played kind sir.. Just a bit of newbie joshing yeah. :D
Re: Desis with Goris. (inter-racial dating)
would you consider marrying a desi girl who was not a virgin?
Re: Desis with Goris. (inter-racial dating)
I know of plenty of inter racial marriages.
Pakistani girl married a black converted muslim guy 8 years ago - currently has two children and is as happy as can be.
Pakistani guy married a Filipino lady over 25 years ago - had children, still married and happy.
I know of at least 6 marriages where the girl is desi and guy is white - I cannot think of any divorces. All the divorces I know of are 100% desi marriages.
The consequences are the same as marrying anyone else. If you care to protect and instill your core values in your future generations, they will carry over. If not, they wont. I know generalizations make things easier but in reality its what you make of it. You cannot expect marriage with a desi girl to be easier because it also requires work, effort, love, care, attention, etc.
Re: Desis with Goris. (inter-racial dating)
would you consider marrying a desi girl who was not a virgin?
if i know shes not a virgin no i wouldnt marry her, but i would marry a gori who wasnt a virgin though (but its less likely that i'd marry a gori over all).
now we're on the right track :), im probably comming off as a hypocrite now or something, but what do other guys think?
Re: Desis with Goris. (inter-racial dating)
lets say you found the closest thing to perfection, and the guy is a gora, you love him etc etc, and want to marry him, will your parents support you?, or are you on your own if you decide to go down that road? :O
my first statement is pretty self-explanatory that i love my religion. so loving any gora dude...well I pray to ALLAH SWT that "take everything but dont take my Iman" and loving some dude and giving him preference and thinking him as if he is not in my life i wont be alive is also shirk to me. only ALLAH SWT is gonna be here forever, everyone else come to this world and play their part and then leave.
ps. my parents know i am quite mature for my age, and more protective about my values and morals than them. If the gora dude converts to Islam my paretns wont mind (but since there is no one so its kinda pointless).
Re: Desis with Goris. (inter-racial dating)
Hey, this is interesting…all the divorces I know that involved non-desies are where the guy was Pakistani/Indian and the girl was non-desi.
Re: Desis with Goris. (inter-racial dating)
if i know shes not a virgin no i wouldnt marry her, but i would marry a gori who wasnt a virgin though (but its less likely that i'd marry a gori over all).
now we're on the right track :), im probably comming off as a hypocrite now or something, but what do other guys think?
uh oh you're about to step in it..
Edal reference in 5..4...3..
Re: Desis with Goris. (inter-racial dating)
The consequences are the same as marrying anyone else. If you care to protect and instill your core values in your future generations, they will carry over. If not, they wont. I know generalizations make things easier but in reality its what you make of it. You cannot expect marriage with a desi girl to be easier because it also requires work, effort, love, care, attention, etc.
how can you say concequences of some dude arrange marrying a desi vs a gori? surely parents would be happier in the first case... no?
Re: Desis with Goris. (inter-racial dating)
if i know shes not a virgin no i wouldnt marry her, but i would marry a gori who wasnt a virgin though (but its less likely that i'd marry a gori over all).
now we're on the right track :), im probably comming off as a hypocrite now or something, but what do other guys think?
I think your a hypocrite.
Re: Desis with Goris. (inter-racial dating)
I am not marrying to make my parents happy because they’re not going to put up with him…I will.
Yes, parents should be respected but at the end of the day…its what you make of it.
Re: Desis with Goris. (inter-racial dating)
ah well i dont know about divorces, the divorce rate in america is pretty high anyway… something like over 40% if im right, its probably alot less in desi-desi couples, and probably somewhere in between gora-gora and desi-desi for gora/desi relationships… or maybe thats not how statistics work. hmm. lol
Re: Desis with Goris. (inter-racial dating)
Re: Desis with Goris. (inter-racial dating)
yeah i kinda am 
okay i see your view, i kinda have the same view as well, if i loved a gori enough, and my gut instincts said she was the one, i would marry her, my parents would probably be sore about it in the short term, but i think they’ll get over it after a while.
Re: Desis with Goris. (inter-racial dating)
did a google search… gonna enjoy this thread lmao http://www.paklinks.com/gs/life-and-relationships/472103-to-all-the-men-who-want-a-pure-virgin-wife.html
but what exactly were you referring to i think that might not be it 
is it something legendary? 
Re: Desis with Goris. (inter-racial dating)
I think everyone should stick to their own kind…nam’sayin. 
Re: Desis with Goris. (inter-racial dating)
That begs the question what is our kind? I am for one am a cultural hybrid.
Re: Desis with Goris. (inter-racial dating)
okay i live in ireland, we dont have many desis here. my parents are like pretty hardcore muslims. however i do go out with white chicks etc (actually i ONLY go out with white chicks, never gone out with a desi... no racist... i just havent come across one that i like) parents dont know about it (i dont live at home unless im off college, i live on campus), i dont have an "exlusive" gf right now, but last chick i was dating (and still sorta hook up with) had an ex who was indian, so there are desis (specially indians) who do land white girls, but im wondering if its common?
So far.... what you are talking about is pretty common. I am hard pressed to find a guy who went to college and not at some point or another dated or went on a date with a gori. I mean some stick to desis ... and some do not date at all. But in my opinion...that is more of a rarity.
okay now over here you dont see many desis with gori gf's (and actually most desis here dont have ANY gfs, most of em dont have any sorta game, shy guys etc, specially pakistani desis), and those who are with goris, are usually with those eastern euro ones like ones who are in the game for the euro passport, and they're usually married to them.
Here in the US - you do see it from time to time. Whether it is a "time pass" thing or they are really in love is a different story.
now im wondering if this is the same everywhere? is it different in america? are there alotta desi/gori couples? (i know its different in the UK, most desis over there usually go out with desis not goris cause theres a higher saturation of desis)
Like walking around big cities like NYC, Boston, Washington DC, Chicago, etc. ..... you do see it .... but you still see more desi with desi couples more in my opinion. Maybe this is because alot of desis are scared to be seen in public with the gori? Who knows. But yea - you do see it. Not as much with Pakistani guys...definitely more common with Indian guys.
and how is it seen in the society? do you know any desis who have married goris?
I think our generation is more like "whatever...to each their own" . But to the older generation it is still scandalous and frowned upon....but they are slowly coming around as well..especially if the girl converts and makes an effort to become a "part" of hte family as much as she can.
A few of my dad's friends are actually married to goris. They have kids. Some of these marriages are great. Others not so much. But I could say the same about my parents other friends are are pakistani's married to Pakistanis....
I have gone to couple of weddings where the guy is pakistani and is marrying a gori. People always talk. There is always alot of gossip. But you always notice that the couple never cares. It is usually a girl he fell in luv with and been with for a long time. Usually someone he met during his studies (and in our communities here...most people are in the medical profession as well or something as equally highly educated).
now im all for messing around in my young years, but i dont think i'd ever marry a gori, i dont know EXACTLY why, but... (im not a "player", but most goris i come across tend to be "bar trash" even the ones who are sorta supposed to be "classy" this chick who i was with whos a vet medicine student, had a future etc but she cheated on her ex, and then was with me for a while, then went back to him lol, and now wants to get back with me AGAIN lol)
You are kinda a hypocrite (but u admit it) and you are seriously stereotyping dude based upon your own experiences. There are good and bad girls in every culture.......... hope u are not that shocked by this statement. Maybe if u were more exposed to the desi community you would realize this....and stop stereotyping both cultures?! And my question is since most of these goris that "tend" to be "bar trash" ... then why do u date them? Like why bother?
are desi women more loyal than goris? (we'll have to genralise and stereotype a little here folks, but whats your opinion?)
You can not really answer this question without stereotyping and generalizing which i am not a fan of. Lets jsut say that of all the Desi/Gori marriages I have seen/heard off..... cheating has never been an issue. Other problems yes. But cheating? no.
if you married a gori/gora, would you take him/her with you to visit pakistan to introduce to your extended family? (LOL this is a big no no for me, not happening, one of the reasons that would put me off from marrying a gori)
I personally never was into the whole gora thing. Dated a desi, got engaged to him and will marry him. The end. But I will tell you about what I have heard from other people that have married goris.
First off - ALL of my dad's friends who married goris, take them to Pakistan from time to time...not only to keep them in touch with their relatives...but so that they can also learn more about the culture and traditions. As WELL as THEIR kids. One of my dad's friend actually decided to live in Islamabad because his GORI wife liked it there so much. Yes you read that right. His gori wife WANTED to live in Pakistan. So now, whenever Auntie comes to our house, she is wearing a shalwaar kameez, speaks to my mom in urdu and is the most wonderful and politest lady ever. Actually all of my dad's friends wives are who are Gori, are the most sophisticated and kindest women you will meet. All who have converted to islam and take pride in the fact that they learned/try to learn about Pakistani culture as much as possible as well as the religion. They encourage their children to embrace their father's culture (easier to embrace the mother's since they live in america) and they encourage their kids to learn about their deen and be good muslims.
From what I have seen - they have raised their kids with both American and Pakistani values and traditions with a really strong emphasis on raising them Muslim. Which is kinda the same my parents did too...even tho both of them are Pakistani......
do you think your family would support you if you married a gori/gora? (mine probably will be disappointed and stuff, and will discourage me ALOT and try to change my mind i if i tried marrying a gori but i dont think they will care all that much after a while)
Um no because it is not allowed in Islam for a girl to marry a non-muslim. But if he was muslim ...then eh. They would not like it, but at the end of the day from a religious point of view ... it is ok . They would come around. My mother would be really really unhappy and disappointed tho...and I think i could never even ever see her go through that as a daughter. So yea it has always been my personal decision to marry a Pakistani..never looked gorays way. lol
if you date goris/goras/desi girls do your parents know about it? what do they think? or do you hide it?
never was in this position so cant say. But from what I see - most people hide it until it is time for marriage.
okay dont mean to offend anyone with this thread, i know its a little liberal (even though im politically conservative...) but i wanna hear some input :)
thanks guys
And for your thing that divorce rate is really high in America - yea it is ...because it is easy to get a divorce here and the more girls are getting educated are able to stand on their own two feet, the easier it is for them to hit the road if the marriage heads south. The whole dependency thing is disappearing as well as the stigma. You would be surprised to find the number of desis that get divorced that are of our generation. I'm not an advocate for it...but im not an advocate of the whole "the reason why the divorce rate is higher in america is because people marry for luv" . As someone in this profession - this is not true. Everyone has their opinions and will continue to have their opinions of why the divorce rate is higher in the western countries than eastern countries.
But people do not consider factors such as the how strong the legal structures are here .....women are granted alimony...child support...and there are things in place to enforce them. The stigma of getting divorced here is less than if you were living in Pakistan. My argument that girls are more independent here due to education and income.
I have done and heard of plenty of divorces between pakistani couples. ....... couples that are even of our parents generation. Its sad. But it is life.
Ok. enough of my vent.
Re: Desis with Goris. (inter-racial dating)
damn, thanks for the long reply :) i'll type mine in the quotes in bold
So far.... what you are talking about is pretty common. I am hard pressed to find a guy who went to college and not at some point or another dated or went on a date with a gori. I mean some stick to desis ... and some do not date at all. But in my opinion...that is more of a rarity.
well i havent come across any desi chicks here who are like liberal enough to be on the dating scene... the desi community here is VERY VERY small
Here in the US - you do see it from time to time. Whether it is a "time pass" thing or they are really in love is a different story.
Like walking around big cities like NYC, Boston, Washington DC, Chicago, etc. ..... you do see it .... but you still see more desi with desi couples more in my opinion. Maybe this is because alot of desis are scared to be seen in public with the gori? Who knows. But yea - you do see it. Not as much with Pakistani guys...definitely more common with Indian guys.
well im not scared of being spotted with a gori in public by goras, i even do a bit of PDA, but i mean if there were any desis in the vicinity... i'd be walking 20 feet ahead of the chick :D, incase they know me, i wouldnt be scared in like a place where no one knew me tho, like in america, the community is HUGE not everyone knows everyone unlike here
I think our generation is more like "whatever...to each their own" . But to the older generation it is still scandalous and frowned upon....but they are slowly coming around as well..especially if the girl converts and makes an effort to become a "part" of hte family as much as she can.
A few of my dad's friends are actually married to goris. They have kids. Some of these marriages are great. Others not so much. But I could say the same about my parents other friends are are pakistani's married to Pakistanis....
I have gone to couple of weddings where the guy is pakistani and is marrying a gori. People always talk. There is always alot of gossip. But you always notice that the couple never cares. It is usually a girl he fell in luv with and been with for a long time. Usually someone he met during his studies (and in our communities here...most people are in the medical profession as well or something as equally highly educated). theres always gossip even if its desi-desi or gora-gora but i know what you mean
You are kinda a hypocrite (but u admit it) and you are seriously stereotyping dude based upon your own experiences. There are good and bad girls in every culture.......... hope u are not that shocked by this statement. Maybe if u were more exposed to the desi community you would realize this....and stop stereotyping both cultures?! And my question is since most of these goris that "tend" to be "bar trash" ... then why do u date them? Like why bother? *i dont date bar trash, but most desis that date goris here are "bar trash" (the girl in question was a vet med student, pretty far from bar trash), its a case of "she shouldnt have done what she did, should have known better" etc, she cheated on her indian ex with some guy, and then was with me, then back to him, then back to me WHILE being with him, now wants to be with me again :/, but thats a story for another day. i used to feel like she was "the one" etc etc, but not anymore. * You can not really answer this question without stereotyping and generalizing which i am not a fan of. Lets jsut say that of all the Desi/Gori marriages I have seen/heard off..... cheating has never been an issue. Other problems yes. But cheating? no.
I personally never was into the whole gora thing. Dated a desi, got engaged to him and will marry him. The end. But I will tell you about what I have heard from other people that have married goris.
brad pitt doesnt give you the flutterbies? bit harsh :P
First off - ALL of my dad's friends who married goris, take them to Pakistan from time to time...not only to keep them in touch with their relatives...but so that they can also learn more about the culture and traditions. As WELL as THEIR kids. One of my dad's friend actually decided to live in Islamabad because his GORI wife liked it there so much. Yes you read that right. His gori wife WANTED to live in Pakistan. So now, whenever Auntie comes to our house, she is wearing a shalwaar kameez, speaks to my mom in urdu and is the most wonderful and politest lady ever. Actually all of my dad's friends wives are who are Gori, are the most sophisticated and kindest women you will meet. All who have converted to islam and take pride in the fact that they learned/try to learn about Pakistani culture as much as possible as well as the religion. They encourage their children to embrace their father's culture (easier to embrace the mother's since they live in america) and they encourage their kids to learn about their deen and be good muslims.
now we're getting to the main point... if i marry a gori, im never taking her to pakistan. i mean the stares you'd get in public... damn i wouldnt be able to swallow all the judgment being passed down. but i do agree there are alotta white girls who are wifeable and well mannered etc, but those are hard to come by.
From what I have seen - they have raised their kids with both American and Pakistani values and traditions with a really strong emphasis on raising them Muslim. Which is kinda the same my parents did too...even tho both of them are Pakistani......
i dont know hmm, im ethnically sindhi/baloch, we speak sindhi at home, but im fluent in urdu etc etc, but i mean im hardly going to teach my children these if my wife doesnt know them, like i'd be communicating to my wife in english and in sindhi to my mom on the phone w/e, and thats all they'll hear of it, actually the above girl in question is 2nd gen german, and speaks german at home, im actually okay at german, did it in HS, its at a comprehensable level, so if i brush up and talk to her (if i marry her that is, and its unlikely that i would :P) in german, the kids would automatically pick it up.
Um no because it is not allowed in Islam for a girl to marry a non-muslim. But if he was muslim ...then eh. They would not like it, but at the end of the day from a religious point of view ... it is ok . They would come around. My mother would be really really unhappy and disappointed tho...and I think i could never even ever see her go through that as a daughter. So yea it has always been my personal decision to marry a Pakistani..never looked gorays way. lol
okay i guess i get it, it was a bit too hypothetical
never was in this position so cant say. But from what I see - most people hide it until it is time for marriage.
that would probably be my plan to if i planned on marrying a gori
And for your thing that divorce rate is really high in America - yea it is ...because it is easy to get a divorce here and the more girls are getting educated are able to stand on their own two feet, the easier it is for them to hit the road if the marriage heads south. The whole dependency thing is disappearing as well as the stigma. You would be surprised to find the number of desis that get divorced that are of our generation. I'm not an advocate for it...but im not an advocate of the whole "the reason why the divorce rate is higher in america is because people marry for luv" . As someone in this profession - this is not true. Everyone has their opinions and will continue to have their opinions of why the divorce rate is higher in the western countries than eastern countries.
But people do not consider factors such as the how strong the legal structures are here .....women are granted alimony...child support...and there are things in place to enforce them. The stigma of getting divorced here is less than if you were living in Pakistan. My argument that girls are more independent here due to education and income.
I have done and heard of plenty of divorces between pakistani couples. ....... couples that are even of our parents generation. Its sad. But it is life.
Ok. enough of my vent.