So far… what you are talking about is pretty common. I am hard pressed to find a guy who went to college and not at some point or another dated or went on a date with a gori. I mean some stick to desis … and some do not date at all. But in my opinion…that is more of a rarity.
well i havent come across any desi chicks here who are like liberal enough to be on the dating scene… the desi community here is VERY VERY small
Here in the US - you do see it from time to time. Whether it is a “time pass” thing or they are really in love is a different story.
Like walking around big cities like NYC, Boston, Washington DC, Chicago, etc. … you do see it … but you still see more desi with desi couples more in my opinion. Maybe this is because alot of desis are scared to be seen in public with the gori? Who knows. But yea - you do see it. Not as much with Pakistani guys…definitely more common with Indian guys.
well im not scared of being spotted with a gori in public by goras, i even do a bit of PDA, but i mean if there were any desis in the vicinity… i’d be walking 20 feet ahead of the chick :D, incase they know me, i wouldnt be scared in like a place where no one knew me tho, like in america, the community is HUGE not everyone knows everyone unlike here
I think our generation is more like “whatever…to each their own” . But to the older generation it is still scandalous and frowned upon…but they are slowly coming around as well..especially if the girl converts and makes an effort to become a “part” of hte family as much as she can.
A few of my dad’s friends are actually married to goris. They have kids. Some of these marriages are great. Others not so much. But I could say the same about my parents other friends are are pakistani’s married to Pakistanis…
I have gone to couple of weddings where the guy is pakistani and is marrying a gori. People always talk. There is always alot of gossip. But you always notice that the couple never cares. It is usually a girl he fell in luv with and been with for a long time. Usually someone he met during his studies (and in our communities here…most people are in the medical profession as well or something as equally highly educated).
theres always gossip even if its desi-desi or gora-gora but i know what you mean
You are kinda a hypocrite (but u admit it) and you are seriously stereotyping dude based upon your own experiences. There are good and bad girls in every culture… hope u are not that shocked by this statement. Maybe if u were more exposed to the desi community you would realize this…and stop stereotyping both cultures?! And my question is since most of these goris that “tend” to be “bar trash” … then why do u date them? Like why bother?
**i dont date bar trash, but most desis that date goris here are “bar trash” (the girl in question was a vet med student, pretty far from bar trash), its a case of “she shouldnt have done what she did, should have known better” etc, she cheated on her indian ex with some guy, and then was with me, then back to him, then back to me WHILE being with him, now wants to be with me again :/, but thats a story for another day. i used to feel like she was “the one” etc etc, but not anymore. **
You can not really answer this question without stereotyping and generalizing which i am not a fan of. Lets jsut say that of all the Desi/Gori marriages I have seen/heard off… cheating has never been an issue. Other problems yes. But cheating? no.
I personally never was into the whole gora thing. Dated a desi, got engaged to him and will marry him. The end. But I will tell you about what I have heard from other people that have married goris.
brad pitt doesnt give you the flutterbies? bit harsh 
First off - ALL of my dad’s friends who married goris, take them to Pakistan from time to time…not only to keep them in touch with their relatives…but so that they can also learn more about the culture and traditions. As WELL as THEIR kids. One of my dad’s friend actually decided to live in Islamabad because his GORI wife liked it there so much. Yes you read that right. His gori wife WANTED to live in Pakistan. So now, whenever Auntie comes to our house, she is wearing a shalwaar kameez, speaks to my mom in urdu and is the most wonderful and politest lady ever. Actually all of my dad’s friends wives are who are Gori, are the most sophisticated and kindest women you will meet. All who have converted to islam and take pride in the fact that they learned/try to learn about Pakistani culture as much as possible as well as the religion. They encourage their children to embrace their father’s culture (easier to embrace the mother’s since they live in america) and they encourage their kids to learn about their deen and be good muslims.
now we’re getting to the main point… if i marry a gori, im never taking her to pakistan. i mean the stares you’d get in public… damn i wouldnt be able to swallow all the judgment being passed down. but i do agree there are alotta white girls who are wifeable and well mannered etc, but those are hard to come by.
From what I have seen - they have raised their kids with both American and Pakistani values and traditions with a really strong emphasis on raising them Muslim. Which is kinda the same my parents did too…even tho both of them are Pakistani…
i dont know hmm, im ethnically sindhi/baloch, we speak sindhi at home, but im fluent in urdu etc etc, but i mean im hardly going to teach my children these if my wife doesnt know them, like i’d be communicating to my wife in english and in sindhi to my mom on the phone w/e, and thats all they’ll hear of it, actually the above girl in question is 2nd gen german, and speaks german at home, im actually okay at german, did it in HS, its at a comprehensable level, so if i brush up and talk to her (if i marry her that is, and its unlikely that i would :P) in german, the kids would automatically pick it up.
Um no because it is not allowed in Islam for a girl to marry a non-muslim. But if he was muslim …then eh. They would not like it, but at the end of the day from a religious point of view … it is ok . They would come around. My mother would be really really unhappy and disappointed tho…and I think i could never even ever see her go through that as a daughter. So yea it has always been my personal decision to marry a Pakistani..never looked gorays way. lol
okay i guess i get it, it was a bit too hypothetical
never was in this position so cant say. But from what I see - most people hide it until it is time for marriage.
that would probably be my plan to if i planned on marrying a gori
And for your thing that divorce rate is really high in America - yea it is …because it is easy to get a divorce here and the more girls are getting educated are able to stand on their own two feet, the easier it is for them to hit the road if the marriage heads south. The whole dependency thing is disappearing as well as the stigma. You would be surprised to find the number of desis that get divorced that are of our generation. I’m not an advocate for it…but im not an advocate of the whole “the reason why the divorce rate is higher in america is because people marry for luv” . As someone in this profession - this is not true. Everyone has their opinions and will continue to have their opinions of why the divorce rate is higher in the western countries than eastern countries.
But people do not consider factors such as the how strong the legal structures are here …women are granted alimony…child support…and there are things in place to enforce them. The stigma of getting divorced here is less than if you were living in Pakistan. My argument that girls are more independent here due to education and income.
I have done and heard of plenty of divorces between pakistani couples. … couples that are even of our parents generation. Its sad. But it is life.
Ok. enough of my vent.
i’ll type mine in the quotes in bold