Re: DESIS who think we are snotty lazy westerners?
Seriously guys.. Dont let it bother you.
I used to wake up at 7 automatically out there so I wouldnt have to hear any sort of rubbish but that doesnt mean i havent slept till 11 in pak either.
As for the pressies... I buy what I can, If they dont like it they can take a long jump of muree mountains
I go to relax.. and always come back refreshed
No matter their flaws I still love them, they do a lot of running about for me and my family. I hate nit picking on silly issues that will only create problems. No ones perfect, and relations are too precious to ruin over issues such as sleep.
Re: DESIS who think we are snotty lazy westerners?
It’s a lack of respect and understanding IMO. A guest is a guest whether they are a relative or a friend visiting you. Hearing rubbish and the grumbling or one even having guilty feelings due to sleeping is not cool for a guest.
We let our houseguests sleep in at whatever time they want… go to sleep whatever time they want… we ask them what THEY want to do during the day. That is how my mom and dad treat their guests. And sure, i’m sure my mom sometimes gets annoyed that a guest has slept in and thus her breakfast giving duties are not over with. But I have never not once heard her complain make a face or anything. She is always very pleasant and sweet.
In Pakistan where most people have servants of some sort that actually do the cooking and cleaning themselves… Like I dont even understand what the big deal is over there. Like what are they mumbling about??? Its not like they have to go back into the rooms and straighten them out or slave over the stove just for you. (I am speaking about majority… not everyone ofcourse). And even so, regardless of this fact- when one is a guest, they should be treated like a guest… period. A guest should never get the feeling like they are a burden or inconvenience.
Luckily at my mamus house I never have this issue… EVERYONE luvs to sleep in …I usually leisurely wake up around noon - 1pm … and when I do, I usually notice that I have cousins that are still sleeping. lol. But god forbid if I have to go over to another relatives …then its exactly what Nadz is talking about … I just try to stay at my mamu’s as much as I can… other relatives can come visit me at his place if they really want to see me that badly
ok so heres grumble number 1.....WE Brits/americans/etc are ON HOLIDAY in pakistan, so we deserve to do WHATEVER WE WISH and WAKE UP whenever we want...so if i want to wake up at *shock horror*10am and not 6am like they do, i should be allowed because i am ON HOLIDAY...THEY ARE NOT. i paid 90000 pounds ( or so it seems) to go to pakistan ( dont know why, of all the countries in the world) TO SEE THESE RELATIVES ( Oh yeah thats why) and then they make these judgements on us that we are lazy cos we wake up late...EVEN THOUGH THESE GUYS SLEEP TWICE IN A DAY...any pakistani here would know that in pak, people in summer sleep twice in the day...we have no such privelege or time here to sleep twice in day..so forgive us for sleeping in an extra 2 hours during normal sleeping times....
GRUMBLE NUMBER 2....we dont compare our lifestyles to theirs....if they come to the uk, and stya here for a few weeks i would happily oblige in their customs and ways, and if they want to slp twice in the day then they can and i will not say hai hai yeh deko din mein do dafa yeh sote hai..we just let them be...but these desis compare and get rude....i think you guys are lazy for sleeping in the day, and waking up, what seems like the middle of the night.
Next time i really will have to say thats its us relatives abroad that is keeping the shambles of their economy and tourism going, im sure id rather go to australia or somwhere where theres no hassle and its alot cheaper.....
Somehow your post matches with the title...:D
The bold part speaks of arrogant attitude..isn't it?
Communication is important.
Just tell them you would like to sleep for a while. That's all.
By the way, both grumblers are same....on sleeping issue.
Re: DESIS who think we are snotty lazy westerners?
I've never had this issue b4, But im confused... are we talking about going to a relatives house or staying at your own house? When we go and we stay at my dads house i sleep till whenever i please even if the cleaner wants to clean my room she comes in do what she wants whilst im sleeping and goes. If im at a relatives again.. i sleep till when i please.
IMO going to Pakistan it self is a waste of money... You might as well throw 600pound down the toilet and go starve yourself and make yourself bullemic. aww Nice holiday. I havnt gone to pakistan since i was 16 and im glad. Only thing i love about pakistan is my bed. The end.
Re: DESIS who think we are snotty lazy westerners?
i know..theyr totally retarded about sleeping in thing..getting all annoyed..even though make our own breakfast when get up late nd even buy our own bread egs butter etc nd even everyone uses it so then wth is their prib?..its like f*ck off already! n then when we wrere gonna stay somewhere else uncle s like no u guyz cant go now bcs ppl will think that we didnt want to take care of u guyzz..
Re: DESIS who think we are snotty lazy westerners?
^
lol so true! Don't you think we suffer enough with the heat, mosquito bites, being gawked at lol without being woken up at some ungodly hour in the morning ! rolls her eyes family!
i know..theyr totally retarded about sleeping in thing..getting all annoyed..even though make our own breakfast when get up late nd **even buy our own bread egs butter etc nd even everyone uses it **so then wth is their prib?..its like f*ck off already! n then when we wrere gonna stay somewhere else uncle s like no u guyz cant go now bcs ppl will think that we didnt want to take care of u guyzz..
Sorry to say but it is pathetic that you even mentioned you bought your own bread and egg and everyone used it.
That was really low to even think about it.
Next time do not tell them you are visiting, stay in a five star hotel. pay for your stay and all meals, sleep late and visit them if you want to when you feel like.
People do not have to go down to this level to mock others....
Even if you were not visiting them, they would have survived..right? You think they were waiting hungry for your eggs and bread?
I do not know what is happening to people these days to try to trash and be so negative to their own relatives.
Re: DESIS who think we are snotty lazy westerners?
haha don't know about lazy but you definitely sound snotty (in addition to a few others in the thread)
its simple really, if its a vacation you are after, by all means book a hotel and enjoy. but if you are staying in someone's house, one's gotta follow certain routines and rules of the host.
Re: DESIS who think we are snotty lazy westerners?
Ahhhh this scares me! I'm going to Pakistan and I am more nervous than anything =(. One of my cousins is already there before me for a wedding we're attending and she really isn't happy about the family situation. Apparently some of the first comments that were passed were "Yeh bahir say ayee hai aur sar peh kapra lupayta vah hai" Excuse me, but last time I checked Pakistan is a Muslim country! AND so what does it matter where we came from?! It's not like Muslims living in the West are already forgiven and granted Jannah. I hope my trip isn't as bad as people make it sound!
On the bright side, I am super excited to eat anything and everything not having to worry about whether there is gelatin/rennet, etc etc in my food=)
Re: DESIS who think we are snotty lazy westerners?
Sighs, thats exactly what I got said to me. You really cant win with people over there. Damned if you do and damned if you dont. I love Pakistan but the people just annoy the hell outta me. I hate em all.
We don't have any immediate family in PK - everyone is settled abroad and when we go to visit/shop we stay with rishtidaars. We've been very fortunate that our family (these are my parents second cousins, rishtay kai chachas, etc.) open up their homes to us and allow us to stay with them. We considered staying at a hotel but everyone cautioned us (the last two times we visited, it was just the women who went) that women alone would not be safe and that's it's best to stay with family.
We were pretty independent in that we hired our own driver, ate out when the mood struck, shopped on our own and went to visit the remaining relatives on our own time.
I get that sometimes you may not get the appreciation you were hoping for about presents and it hurts, but at the end of the day, you are a guest who needs to extend courtesy to your hosts. When you wake up at noon and everyone else has already had breakfast - yes, your host has to do set it out again for you - tghe maasi has to be delayed and told to come back later, etc. And just because you want to go shopping at 2pm doesn't mean that they can drop all of their errands for your benefit.
I know that some of the westerners return the favor and host their Pakistani relatives when they come to visit the US/UK etc., but historically for the most part - the relatives back home couldn't afford a trip abroad en famille. As a result the hosting went one way - the Pakistanis hosting the westerners and all for the privilege of having foreign kai mehmaan disrupt their schedule, have visitors coming to their home to meet the bahar kai relatives and a few pressies.
Re: DESIS who think we are snotty lazy westerners?
I don't understand why do people stay in their relatives' place? I can stay with my sister or brother's family but staying with aunties and uncles and cousins is just weird and uncomforting.
I don't understand why do people stay in their relatives' place? I can stay with my sister or brother's family but staying with aunties and uncles and cousins is just weird and uncomforting.
Every family is different and everyone has a different comfort level. Some families are so attached that living together for a few days is not a problem or any discomfort.
Also, some families get offended if you stay at a hotel rather than at your phupphis, chachoos mamoon 's place.
Re: DESIS who think we are snotty lazy westerners?
The etiquette for going to live at someone's house as a guest, and I'm semi-quoting here from a western etiquette guru, is to follow the rules and customs of the family whom you are residing with. Do not be an intrusion or burden to them. So for example, if they wake up at 10 am, then you should wake up at 10 am. If they wake up at 6 am, it's ok to sleep in another hour, but it's highly rude to wake up at 1 pm and expect everything to be ok.
People have lives too, they have work to do, they have places to go, and they can't be expected to start cooking you nashta if it's lunch time.
If you are so highly matured and civilized "westerners" then follow the rules of the westerners too. Don't be a cheap ass and live in a hotel instead of bunking in with relatives. Be different from them and show them that just because you're at their place doesn't mean you have to act the way they act when they are staying with you.