I have observed that desi guys and girls have no clue when it comes to treating each other in a social gathering. There aren’t many girls who know how to make a guy comfortable or welcome…either they would get all shy and nervous or get too uptight. You can sense the tension in the girl’s shoulders from a mile
On the other hand, desi guys seem to have no manners whatsoever on how to treat a woman. I seldom see a desi guy standing up when a woman enters the room..walking her to the car or just show general courtesy. The more shiity they treat a girl the more macho they become in front of their friends.
I know I might be generalizing to some extent but there are some manners, courteousness and politeness that is apparently missing in our society. Maybe it is because the culture promotes segregation, hence people don’t know how to interact with opposite genders? Your views.
I dont get nervous when Im at some party or home etc.If I have to, I'll ask the guy to have a seat and strike up small talk.When it comes to desi guys, I dont care if they stand up or remain seated-- if a female enters - but I do wish more of them would open doors for us.:o
I think it starts at home. Parents should be teaching their kids manners and common courtesy when they are growing up. Sure, kids are taught to respect their elders, but how about when it comes to interacting with one another? Are guys taught how to treat women and respect them? Even if they are disrespectful, is there anybody to challenge their behaviour and correct them? Usually not, and so the cycle continues.
Walking a girl back to her car is just common courtesy especially if it is dark outside. I really don’t think that’s asking for too much from men. Please take note. :halo:
In hammari family this is the done thing, opening doors, walking to cars etc.
Its a pity all my uncles are taken
ANd the desi guy thing, again outside my blood line :halo: I do find that if u talk to a desi boy as though he is human, he won’t quite sure how to take it.
make up you mind.. u want equality.. this is equality.. i don’t “escort” my male friends to their cars.. but yeah.. i open doors for just about anyone.. but I would probably slam it on some chick who thinks she deserves it :bash:
If I dont know someone, I am horribly shy and reserved. However, if I have to say something to someone, or if someone tries to strike up conversation with me, I will be polite but I will still feel terribly shy usually.
I dont think it has to do with segregation, in terms of people behaving badly or without manners. I think its family and environment that influences these behaviors. The reason is because there are almost always people of opposing genders even within the family. If you treat your family members well and with respect, chances are you are going to do that with those outside your family as well, unless you have a heavy influence from friends to act in another way.
its definalty a family thing, my granny always taught us that saying please and thankyou dont cost a thing!
regarding the whole social communication, segregation is part of it, most of the time if you dnt interact with the opposite sex then ur never gona know and learn what to say/not to say. Although i do think most of it depends on how one has been brought up. personally i dnt talk much to people i dnt knw as im very very shy and i like being shy :)
ah plzzz.. walkin girls to the car and opening doors… i see some feiminazas forgettin the rules… would u walk the guy to the car and open doors??? whatever happened to equality???
i only care bout the conversation… as long as it doesnt revolve around the domestic life of a woman, his car… etc …im happy
rest all doesnt matter :halo:
men in my family arent taught that women delicate figurines.. and women arent taught that men are god like creatures who will save them from everything evil… its worked out pretty well upto now :halo some more: just respect everyone… kids, the elderly.. women.. men..
u should be opening doors for everyone…common courtesy should be universal and not reserved for the fairer gender.
if u're so afraid of getting jumped in Parking Lots.. don't attend parties in shady neighborhoods.. or better still.. take the train or a cab... i'm willing to call a cab for you.. :)
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by PakistaniAbroad: *
if u're so afraid of getting jumped in Parking Lots.. don't attend parties in shady neighborhoods.. or better still.. take the train or a cab... i'm willing to call a cab for you.. :)
[/QUOTE]
you don't need to be in a shady neighbourhood or attending parties in order to be jumped. I'll be content if you call a cab for me though rather than just leaving. :p
By the way, if someone does have enough courtesy to walk me to my car, I usually drive them back to theirs afterwards rather than leaving them to walk back themselves to their own car.
It all comes down to mannerisms. I always hold the elevator, door, whatever open for everybody ... regardless of age and gender.
Wase I always open/hold doors for the elderly and kids - but never another young/middle aged person.
As for walking to the car, people usually walk me to my car--most often a bunch of my friends.I dont really feel the need for a guy to walk me to my car.And I really dont mind going on my own.
My friends always walk me back; as for the other little things, I don't need that.
Some people's courtesies leave me feeling very uncomfortable though. There's this guy at work who's too polite "Here dear, let me get that for you, etc." He seems so fake. It's almost like he's being patronizing or something. UGH.
Khawateen said it best, courtesy shouldn't be limited to the fairer gender.
walking back to cars!!!??? oh come on, I’m not a doorkeeper or so. If a girl (or boy for that matter) has the intellect to drive a car, then she should also be able to find her car in the parking lot
I don’t think equality is relevant when it comes to mannerism. I believe each gender needs to be treated in a certain way. A man’s masculinity and a woman’s femininity should not be traded off in any aspect of life…and mannerisms are a part of it. Having said that, both genders have to ‘earn’ respect..it doesn’t work one way.
I say if you are a woman make the most of it…don’t let these little things go by so easily. If a guy is opening the door for you..he should..if he is not then you have the right to question it.
Shinoo, are you kidding me I apologize
walking a girl to the door is not indicative of her weakness and a man's protective nature or anything like that. its just flat out sweet to accompany your sweetheart to her car. why can't things be done out of just sweetness?
no feminazi rules against sweetness.
fazy, i see this behavior all the time. i myself have to admit am prone to it. my shoulders go very tense. except its usually because i want to throw the guy in a lake and drown him.
I walk everyone to their cars..men women and children and i open doors for everyone too..and I even chat up lost looking strangers in the mall..I’m a good girl :halo:
