Desi Weddings..Crashing and Burning..

[Sidra54]

Re: Desi Weddings..Crashing and Burning..

now is the keyword

[redvelvet]

Re: Desi Weddings..Crashing and Burning..

@Bobby1

Maybe, tell us how you are living and then people can decide if they want to be you in 10/15 yrs. .

Bobby, I’m going go give you the benefit of the doubt that everything you’ve shared about your family is true…and that you really, truly do have a daughter. If your daughter decides to marry late in her life…or perhaps decides not to marry at all…would you put her down for it? Would you base all of your daughter’s self-worth on whether or not she has a husband or x number of kids by a certain age? That would not reflect progressive, humanist thinking. It’s actually a form of abuse, sir.

If you’re going to go around putting women down for being single or not having kids…then you ALSO need to stop being the “knight” that defends women that are divorced and abused. You lose validity that way.

[Bobby1]

Re: Desi Weddings..Crashing and Burning..

@SID_NY

LOL.. no, none of your male/female ID was banned due to that reason. Now I can make all the historic PMs/posts public here but I wont.
But again you can make up anything you want. Just like you made up that long list of allegations against us.

I just wish you come out of your fantasy land soon and achieve all what you have been dreaming about.. have a good time during break!

Here dude enjoy, I am fully content with my achievements now time to wind down and start travelling. Here enjoy the pic of my bedroom large enough for a king size plus a queen plus sitting space with views of the forest and river, what made you claim that I live in a basement?

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[queer]

Re: Desi Weddings..Crashing and Burning..

The thing is Blob, you are bragging about the most ordinarily desi and mediocre of things.

That 57 minute 10K.

This cluttered bedroom where you have stuffed two beds with hardly any room to really be in.

Some award that you bought at a dollar store.

Vat is dis?

[redvelvet]

Re: Desi Weddings..Crashing and Burning..

@Bobby1

See yaa laater, I am done for now.

For now..only? So that means you’ll be back again…break k baad?

Bob, please don’t go. Yahan ki traffic kum ho jaye gi.

Just do as Sid suggested. Confine your innumerable successes to blog instead.

And block me (n maybe Queer too) from your blog. Cuz I can’t help it…I’m drawn to you. Like a moth to wool. :hinna:

Mat jaao…

[queer]

Re: Desi Weddings..Crashing and Burning..

i have been thinking - why would anyone want more than one bed in their most amazing bedroom?

i am one of the most awesome people to walk this planet, and even i can only sleep on one bed at a time. do you set alarm for 2:30 am and alternate beds to maximize your inner zen value?

[batameez]

Re: Desi Weddings..Crashing and Burning..

I thought it was about desi breaking other desi people’s risthay

[fitoor]

Re: Desi Weddings..Crashing and Burning..

@Bobby1

Almost same rate of divorce but the difference is that they are able to handle it a lot better, girls dont have to rely on immediate family for support, divorce is not a stigma, girls almost immediately start dating again and western guys have no issues with blended children. Most of my kids friends are in the same boat. Most parents are on their second marriages with his/hers and ours kids.
Goras dont have the in-law crap and gender roles are not that undefined. And there is no east meet west complications.

White people have crappy in-law issues too. Why do you stereotype and generalize about desis and white people? There is a stigma attached to white divorced women in the western world too perhaps not as much as in some communities amongst desis but to generalize all “goras” or all desis is just annoying.
You have to actually be in a horribly, bad marriage and actually experience what the two people went through. Divorce is the last thing on anybody’s mind when they first get married, i’m sure, I think human beings go into marriage with good intentions hoping that it will succeed regardless of whether it’s a love or arranged marriage but I think you need to experience the divorce of your own child or one of your nephews or nieces to actually understand how complicated and painful it can get. It’s not something you should be all high and mighty about. There’s a tad bit of arrogance in the tone of your opening comment. You sound so naive like everything regarding marriage and life is black or white no grey area.

[gudiaali]

Re: Desi Weddings..Crashing and Burning..

@Bobby1

Here dude enjoy, I am fully content with my achievements now time to wind down and start travelling. Here enjoy the pic of my bedroom large enough for a king size plus a queen plus sitting space with views of the forest and river, what made you claim that I live in a basement?

The award pic doesn’t state any name?
This bedroom pic_ it doesn’t seem to be large by any standard.

[Thornewood9]

Re: Desi Weddings..Crashing and Burning..

Listen if you want to live life without culture or religion then you go ahead and do that but saying that your way is the only and right way to prevent divorce and achieve a happy marriage is ridiculous.
Speaking from an Islamic perspective, Muslims are supposed to follow the Sunnah of the prophet pbuh in marriage and maybe you don’t know but the prophet pbuh encouraged men to help their wives with housework and to be caring and romantic and understanding towards them. The prophet pbuh used to do his own housework, make his own food and help his wives with housework too. And women are not encouraged to be idle in Islam. The Prophet pbuhs wife Aisha RA was an extremely independent and motivated woman. She delivered more than 50% of authentic hadith and taught more than 80 scholars.
Just because in Islam there is a family model where the man is the leader of the family and his wife is his right hand doesn’t mean it is inferior or sexist or whatever.
You don’t like it then that’s fine. You don’t need to follow it.
As for the expensive weddings in Islam a simple nikkah is preferred and you don’t just marry someone you know nothing about. The rishta process in Islam encouraged that you speak to your potential spouse while chaperoned, that the families meet and learn about one another. It’s not just a shot in the dark. But despite that the truth is that marriage is a gamble. You can know someone inside out and still have problems after marriage but that’s because people can change after marriage too and then with the stress of kids on top it can be harder.
Divorce isn’t just happening 24/7 in the desi community. Yes there are people who get divorced quickly but there are also couples who are trying to make their marriages work.
You can’t say your way is the right way. People are different and have different ideas and mentality and want to live life in other ways than what you think is right.
Some people want faith to be a major part of their marriage and some don’t. One isn’t superior than the other it’s all dependant on individual choices and lifestyle.
And as for your claim that you have raised your boys to do housework, well good for you. You should teach them that. My brother has also been taught the same and my father who came from Pakistan always helped my mother in the Kitchen from as long as i can remember. he even still makes roti and salin. And he is a typical Pakistani man but he is also alhumdulillah a religious man who knows his deen. So just chill out.