Desi Taboos

Arts & Culture Culture, Arts, Literature & Linguistics
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Re: Desi Taboos

I think she said , we doctors took human body parts as anatomy and nothing more. Thats why I made a perception that doctors are most unromantic people on the earth

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Han mujhy pata hia... khud kashi smiley say main samjh giya tha.... mainy to bas phir luqma diya tha...

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I think it's taboo for older widows to want to get re-married. Like people in their 50s and up, and especially those whose children are of marriageable age or already married with kids. Society labels them as tharki and taunts them ke "baba ji ki taangen qabar main aur charheya jawani ka nasha" or "beti ki shaadi ki umar ho gayi lekin budhay nu apni payi ae" or "Allah Allah karne ke din hain lekin harkaten dekho."

At the same time, I've heard conflicting views like "mardon pe kabhi burhapa nahi aata" and if he can afford it, then it's almost seen as "ehsaan" on the poor woman (most women who marry men 10-20+ years older than them happen to be from lower/middle class) to provide her with shelter, nice clothes and do waqt ki roti.

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hahaha. yeh toh maine kiya hai. teeka and dark lipstick at someone’s wedding. i looked gd :biggthumb:

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red lipstick on young and single girl. that's not well liked right? i do it anyways. my mom doesnt quite like it so i have toned down

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Han G...

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I was a teenager in the '90s, my Mum never allowed me any make up at all. Only surma, later eye pencil and that's it. When I was married off, I had no idea how to apply make up. My cousin whose mother was less strict was surprised.

Taboo's differ not only within our family, but also of course within our community. I live in the Netherlands and grew up with all kinds of Pakistani and Indian people.

We were at a wedding of Pakistani family friends once and females showed a dance they had prepared, my Mum liked it yet said it was shameful that those females had danced in front of males, I was never allowed to dance when I grew up, not even in private. Only as a child at school because that was different according to my parents. Other than that, most females don't dance in our family. (yet my parents love to watch people dance in Indian movies)

Most females in our family, with some exceptions, have to wear a chador or duputta shutta after a certain age. If you would go out without a duputta, you'd get in trouble, not only with family members, but also you'd get a bad name when some family friends saw you. Western clothing was quite taboot too, it meant you were becoming 'too Dutch' 'too gorah' according to certain family members and their friends.

When I grew up, I was mostly at home while my brothers could wear anything they wanted and see anyone they like and go everywhere they wished. Once I visited a library with Dutch class fellows. Several Indian and Pakistani's saw us and reported to my Dad that they just saw his daughter going to the library with two Dutch males. (I was around 16-17). They and my Dad were all selling products at a market in front of that library. I didn't know it would be such a big deal that I visited a library with class fellows. But it was. My parents said I wasn't allowed to walk in town with any Dutch male or female, and contact with them was limited by my parents as much as possible, even though they did have Dutch friends themselves. You see, the common opinion amongst my parenst, Uncles, Aunties and most family friends was that if your children were often with Dutch goray shoray, they'd become 'awara' and do all kinds of forbidden things. So in those years it was quite taboo to be often seen with Dutch people while being a Pakistani Muslim female.

For some reason many Pakistanis here were often ashamed (I'm talking about the '80s and '90s) to admit they enjoyed watching Indian films. Sometimes we'd visit friends and before ringing the doorbell my parents would tell us once again 'don't you dare mention that Indian movie we watched the other day'. Weird.

Pakistani males with non-Pakistani females are becoming more acceptable, yet a Pakistani female with a non-Pakistani male is still considered more inappropriate. Why? Months ago I met a Pakistani female I once knew quite briefly. She said she now had a Dutch husband and her family and many other Pakistani's didn't like it of course. (mine wouldn't either) It was sad that she was being treated like that.

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lady smokers?

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Racy clips on TV in family gathering either forwarded or changed to different channel... You cannot watch with family....

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racy clips?