I wish there was a desi Miss Manners I could ask her many things I am confused about for example.
Is it OK to ask for salt if the host forgot to put salt in biryani or qorma or the salt is not enough and the food is too blend to even swallow ?
On many desi homes you will not find salt and pepper duo on the dinning table/s for some reason. Why ?
Any volunteers to assume this role of Desi Miss Manners and earn some fame and fortune ?
Re: Desi Miss Manners.
Umm DAH!!
Re: Desi Miss Manners.
I usually let go, but if I REALLY need extra salt, I say, "could I please have some salt as I am used to taking more in my food. I know it's not a good thing and I'm trying to reduce my salt intake. Thanks."
Your response made me more 
Not as confused as I am reading your initial post. Why would it be rude asking for a bit of salt 
I usually let go, but if I REALLY need extra salt, I say, "could I please have some salt as I am used to taking more in my food. I know it's not a good thing and I'm trying to reduce my salt intake. Thanks."
Thanks for your response , but questions is desi female hosts will or will not be offended ?
Second question should we ask Azkar bhai to make you official Miss Desi Manners and start a seperate forum for des mannerism ?
Because when I do that at my sister in laws home I have to listen to a lecture about how consuming too much salt is bad for your health.
In my own home I noted that even if I feel that I could use a pinch of salt in something other guests do not ask for it but when I do put it , they will too.
Oh yes I have also noted at other people’s home during a dawat nobody , inluding me is the first one to ask for salt. Only at some friends home where I am the only guest and we are very" bay takkaluf" friends I will dare to ask for salt if there will be need for it.
Re: Desi Miss Manners.
If you dont add salt to it then she’ll complain about how you are not eating her food
Its nagging both ways, your choice which one to listen to 
Because when I do that at my sister in laws home I have to listen to a lecture about how consuming too much salt is bad for your health. In my own home I noted that even if I feel that I could use a pinch of salt in something other guests do not ask for it but when I do put it , they will too.
And that's why you clarify in advance like I said.
I feel that when people invite you they have obviously put in the effort to prepare a nice meal, at least to the best of their capability. So it's a bit rude to show any kind of negative.
We have a friend who doesn't really cook well, at least to our taste, but at her home, we usually pick one of the 3-4 items that we like the most and focus on appreciating that.
Hey, at the end of the day, if you make someone happy, or at least not hurt their feelings, that's good enough.
Sahi , sahi . I Agree I guess it is better to have a full stomach and annoy them , then annoy them and stand up from the dinner table hungry.
We have a friend who doesn't really cook well, at least to our taste, but at her home, we usually pick one of the 3-4 items that we like the most and focus on appreciating that. Hey, at the end of the day, if you make someone happy, or at least not hurt their feelings, that's good enough.
Wow that was going to be my next question , if you get invited to some bad cook's home what do you do ?
You provided the answer already.
Thanks.
I have many other questions , but I will let others post their manner related questions first.
Re: Desi Miss Manners.
Why not carry salt in your pocket (when invited to a daawat etc) and throw it in when they’re not looking? 
Re: Desi Miss Manners.
Excellent idea Chipkali, and if they see you tell them it’s medication… but they’ll think you’re on drugs . Oh well, at least they won’t invite you next time.
Re: Desi Miss Manners.
to app apnay gher nay namak daani lay ker chalay jaaya kerain na chai
Re: Desi Miss Manners.
oh darn! 
I always end up asking for salt, achaar, ketchup, sauces, soda, water, etc. etc.
I got no manners 
I just realized I need a miss manner 
^ why dont you just stand in their kitchen and start cooking your own food, saves the hassle of asking for all the ingredients
actually, I end up going to their kitchen and helping myself as well…
is it good manner or bad:konfused:
please, advise.
Asking for soda or water is perfectly in order, but any flavor enhancers may be considered rudish, not exactly rude.
But there are many people who feel that if a guests asks for stuff, they are in fact considering them to be “close” so they actualy feel good about it.
depends how close of a relationship you have with 'em.
I dont like people in my kitchen touching my things with their dirty hands leaving marks everywhere.
I get tired of making mental notes of all the things they’ve touched so i can wipe them later when they’ve left
Depends on your relationship with them. I almost always end up in people’s kitchens.